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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to hurl self from balcony or cliff because...

48 replies

lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:21

my sweet perfectly behaved baby girl has turned into a nightmare overnight!!!!! i cant cope with the screaming, tantrums and generally bad behavior. ive heard of the terrible twos, but i never thought it would be this bad!! im at my witts end and really need to vent, please tell me its OK to want to hide in the loo for 30 mins a day just to get away from her, alternatively hurl myself from said cliff or balcony.

OP posts:
nevergoogledragonbutter · 05/06/2009 00:26

oh dear lilysmummy2007.
posting in AIBU opens you up to a proper flaming, and more than likely you'll be picked up on being insensitive as there have been real life balcony and cliff episodes in the news recently.

if you genuinely are feeling low, then try the mental health threads.

if you want parenting advice on terrible twos then try the behaviour threads.

to answer your question. yes, it's normal to be pushed to your limits, but no, it is not normal to want to hurl yourself from a balcony or a cliff.

are you new?

ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:26

Would a glass of wine help? Chocolate maybe?

Loo - yes
Balcony/Cliff - no

Want some help/advice/reassurance or just want to vent before you explode?

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:28

lilys, I do think this is in bad taste, recent news events being as they are

Children go through this stage, it is very tough, go and post in the Parenting section and everyone will listen, offer advice and make you laugh whilst you scream it out!

PlumBumMum · 05/06/2009 00:31

YABU Just wait for the threenagers

ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:32

nevergoogled - it's also good to have a sense of humour.... AIBU is a great place to vent, especially at this time of night, if you actually want someone to reply!

AND YABU to use that name, now I have (googled) and it was revolting !!!

Doodle2U · 05/06/2009 00:32

Oh well, you've said it now so let's just get on with the business of helping you:-

It is a phase.

Most of them go through it.

Hiding in the bathroom is preferable to a good stinger across her arse because you lose control.

It will get better.

Get out doors EVERY DAY. Even just a walk around the block will do but make it your life's mission to leave the house with her, every single day, and do SOMETHING. It helps.

Good luck.

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:32

BTW, hiding in the loo is a perfectly reasonable activity, take a book and a glass of wine if you can, make sure LO is safe and relax for 10 or 15 minutes

Original poster
lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:33

really, i had noo clue!!! im in trinidad and tobago you see, and we live on a high hill. ive been here since november and not really in touch with whats going on in the uk, my apologies, i really had no idea, shall have to look it up now, and yes chocolate would definitely help but i always break out in acne whenever i have them.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:35

KCIA - quite possibly lillysmumy hasn't even seen the news lately! Lots of people say that in jest and lots of people regularly throw themselves off of cliffs.... it's life and as no harm was intended, do we really need to take offence? (BTW I see we killed 'that' thread the other night!).

Original poster
lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:36

ok i have no clue about the cliff/ balcony incidents thingy can someone fill me in or post a link.

OP posts:
KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:36

Don't feel you have to google it, it is sad. Forget it, you are not coming across as omone wanting to start a scrap- if it turns out you are looking for a scrap we will just bring it back up for you

Two year olds are tough!

Geocentric · 05/06/2009 00:37

My fave when DCs were babies was to head for the shower as soon as DH got home, turn it on full and steaming hot, get in and have a good cry. Afterwards a glass of wine and all new, ready to face the night with whatever it might bring!

Just keep reminding yourself that the difficult and exhausting baby phase passes really quickly.

nevergoogledragonbutter · 05/06/2009 00:37

chippingin i wasn't having a pop, just warning lilysmummy of any criticism which might come her way.

...and i did tell you not to google.

Geocentric · 05/06/2009 00:37

oops, just saw she's 2, but same 'recipe' applies!

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:39

Chipping, I was very nice about it - this is AIBU you know
I think we would make a good thread kill tag team

Lilys, do you have support for yourself? Do you get a break?

ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:40

No chocolate then, you don't need acne as well!!

Wine then!! Lots of it!!

Bathroom, wine, book and ear plugs

How is her speach? I think if she has a good level of vocab you can be quite strict with her and tell her that she wont get anything while she is making that , when she is ready to talk to you and tell you what the matter is you will be in the other room and walk away.... if she isn't talking, then I think you just have to imagine what a frustrating world it must be when you know what you want, how you feel, what you need but you cannot tell anyone!! Imagining this gives me a greater level of patience when required (still need the wine at the end of the day though )

Original poster
lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:41

ok so im on the pc and i can hear lily either ripping all her nans hair out or trying to get into the cutlery draw and being stopped, screaming at the top of her lungs, and will surely be flapping around on the floor when i get there, how do i calm her down, nothing works!! i try cuddling, singing, rocking, here fave shows or a snack that she likes but im afraid i never succeed. HELP!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:41

ok so im on the pc and i can hear lily either ripping all her nans hair out or trying to get into the cutlery draw and being stopped, screaming at the top of her lungs, and will surely be flapping around on the floor when i get there, how do i calm her down, nothing works!! i try cuddling, singing, rocking, here fave shows or a snack that she likes but im afraid i never succeed. HELP!!!!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:43

nevergoogledragonbutter.... yeah, but you know, tell me not to do something... I'm sorry if you weren't having a pop, your post just came across as a bit abrupt and this time of night those other boards can be a bit lonely!

KCIA - have we done it again??

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:45

This is the stage when you have to start making sure they are safe and ignoring the behaviour. When they start to shout and scream just say "I cannot understand you when you scream at me, when you have calmed down we will talk" or, if her verbal is not so good try "Do not shout, talk" then ignore.

ChippingIn · 05/06/2009 00:46

Do not reward that behaviour in any way (no cuddling, singing, treats, stories etc)

Put her somewhere that she wont hurt herself and walk away.

Does she have a good vocab?

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:47

I don't know chipping, I have to get at least a little bit of sleep tonight, I am off to bed very soon!

lilys, post a thread in parenting asking for tips, people will see it tomorrow hopefully and leave you some tips and ideas for you to read tomorrow night

This stage does end, it doesn't feel like it at times, but it really does move on sooner or later

Original poster
lilysmummy2007 · 05/06/2009 00:47

hey chippingin, she is ok with her vocab, most thing she cant get out but not very good at stringing them together, so i never really know if what she is saying is what she wants, do you think this bight be it, she is very smart and usually gets the point across but she has also had to deal with her dad returning to the uk after a visit as i am here dealing with a family situation and he is in the uk as someone has to work and pay the bills. he left about 2 weeks ago but she has been acting up since he arrived for the visit and i thought it may have been separation anxiety, but not sure what to look for and dont know how to deal with it if that is the problem.

OP posts:
nevergoogledragonbutter · 05/06/2009 00:50

sorry, i didn't intend to be abrupt just plain speaking. it's late.

i think it's time i turned in.

btw. i thought i made the name dragonbutter up. i was DB for nearly a year before i randomly googled it and found out what it meant. imagine how i felt to read it?

KingCanuteIAm · 05/06/2009 00:50

Sorry, I do have to sleep now, I hope you manage to get something sorted with her lilys

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