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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think men should keep their shirts on in public places however hot it is?

169 replies

catwalker · 31/05/2009 13:42

-especially the ones with fat, hairy stomachs. Unless, of course, they are in their own garden or on the beach. Went to a cricket match the other day and one of the dads sat next to me was topless. He had the most enormous hairy stomach and very small shorts so that when he was sitting down you couldn't see the shorts for his overhanging gut and it looked like he was naked. I couldn't bear to look in his direction - put me off my picnic. I see blokes wandering round the local shopping centre with no top on too - even if they're fit looking it still makes me feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 31/05/2009 19:13

I dont care about age, weight or gender, it is decent to keep your clothing on in the city, supermarket, etc. Stripping off is ok at the beach, sunbathing in the park, etc.

I dont like young slender girls walking around in hipsters/hotpants/miniskirts/bikinibottoms combined with bikini tops either. Especially not if I am out with dh....

NoBingoWings · 31/05/2009 20:29

YANBU
Also men in 3/4 length shorts and eeeek flipflops especially if they have really hairy legs and feet < boak>

Greensleeves · 31/05/2009 20:31

why? it's only bodies. It's hot.

mind you someone on here recently told me I was MAD for letting my 6yo run around naked in our garden!

paisleyleaf · 31/05/2009 20:36

YANBU
depending on who the visiters are, DH will often put a tshirt on if we're at home/in the garden and someone comes round.

howtotellmum · 31/05/2009 20:53

okay- onogar we wipe out a million or so years of civilisation do we, and cast our inhibitions to the wrnd and only wear clothes to go to Waitrose when it's cold. Sure, You go first!

ILoveDolly · 31/05/2009 21:24

I don't really like anyone wandering round the supermarket with their baps out. Definately not a fat issue with me, I am a prude

ILoveDolly · 31/05/2009 21:26

BTW I think that clothing and body adornment has had a 'weird semi-religious status' for a REALLY long time now onagar

EvenBetaDad · 31/05/2009 22:34

I still can't get "sweating over melons" out of my mind.

Its making me feel quite uncomfortable.

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 31/05/2009 23:15

I think any other foodstuff wouldn't have the same connotations as melons

brightongirldownunder · 01/06/2009 05:41

haha, its not often I make people feel that uncomfortable on here, BetaDad! Think the wine may have helped....

Actually went to get a melon today and decided to pass and get some pears instead, so its affected me too!

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly · 01/06/2009 10:24

I was at the park yesterday and it was full of people with no shirts or just bikinis on. I really don't mind but there is a time and a palce for getting your gear off and the shops is not it.
What I am curious to know is that men irregardelss of thier size and shape will whip their clothes off like they are a centrefold but if it is a woman who wants to wear a bikini and is not a size 8 all you hear from men are comments about the fat woman and how disgusting it is (we were eavesdropping a lot yesterday).

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 01/06/2009 10:32

I am amazed that so many people care.

And that 'fat' 'ugly' and 'disgusting' and being branded around so casually.

It's just skin, just other people, why so hideously offensive?

HellHathNoFury · 01/06/2009 10:34

I think I am in the minority here because it doesn't actually bother me...

Ponymum · 01/06/2009 10:43

YANBU

I was not born in Britain. I still find it strange in the extreme. Why is it socially acceptable here? At the shops?! It is just not polite, and I personally find it offensive, but maybe that's just me! (I was half expecting a question on bare-topped men when I sat the Life in the UK test, but phew, I was spared).

duchesse · 01/06/2009 11:14

To OP- No YANBU. I think it's utterly VILE! All they need is a bit of woad on them and they'd look like they'd sprung from the dark ages. Quite often these blokes are also heavily tattooed which I find especially vomitous, but they seem to find themselves gorgeous. If women did this, they'd be arrested.

howtotellmum · 01/06/2009 11:19

"I am amazed that so many people care.

And that 'fat' 'ugly' and 'disgusting' and being branded around so casually.

It's just skin, just other people, why so hideously offensive? "

It is just skin, but the issue does raise the whole bigger issue of nudity in public and what is acceptable. It's all a matter of degree, surely.

Personally, what I object to is not skin per se, but the fact that the owners of that skin are totally unaware that not everyone wants to see their tatoos, hairy armpits, flabby bellies etc etc- being paraded down the High Street or in Tescos. Surely you can admit that the human body comes in all shapes and sizes, and that some are simply not kind on the eye!

SheherazadetheGoat · 01/06/2009 11:22

i am in scotland and live near a beach it never ceases to amaze me the sudden influx of nudey people on the high street when the sun comes out. it is rarely aestheticly pleasing. when dd was a baby she used to squeal 'nudey nudey' and attempt to tickle the naked fat men that passed by.

howtotellmum · 01/06/2009 11:26

STG- has your DD grown out of the habit now?

BarefootShirl · 01/06/2009 11:36

I am firmly in the "live and let live" camp on this one - it should have nothing to do with size for either sex. I do agree that putting a top on in shops etc is preferable but have to confess to spending yesterday afternoon in the park in a bikini with the family and only putting shorts on for the 1/2 hr walk home . Even managed to find a reasonably quiet spot in the park where I could ditch the top and get some sun on the "girls" .

Greensleeves - my Mum is always telling me I am mad to let DD run around naked in the garden but I'm with you - there only young once.

HellHathNoFury · 01/06/2009 11:54

Barefootshirl I am also with you on this one.

I find this thread a bit sad really.

I am a chunky old bird, DH has a hairy back, my Dad is an old man covered in scars with a bit of a belly, and I am saddened to think that because we don't meet the MN standards of acceptaple appearance we should be resigned to only taking our kit off in the privacy of our own homes/gardens, lest we offend the beautiful masses with our disgusting hairy lardy sweatiness.

spokette · 01/06/2009 11:54

Last year Bluewater banned topless men from entering. I wish other stores would do the same.

duchesse · 01/06/2009 12:13

Afaic it's nothing whatever to do with how you look (despite my flippant comment about tattoos, which I do find vomitous btw), and everything to do with respecting social mores that have evolved over many millenia. Anybody who wishes to be accepted into a place where nudity is socially acceptable is very welcome to join one of the numerous naturist clubs around the country.

In the UK (and in many other countries) nudity in public, and more particularly in inappropriate places (ie outside beaches or swimming pools) is not socially acceptable because it represents way too much inappropriate intimacy. If you decide to ignore the sensibilities of others and wander around semi-naked despite social conventions, that makes you a little anti-social imo.

howtotellmum · 01/06/2009 12:33

hellhath- I think the post from duchesse says it all.

I am sure you and your folks are delightful people, and if you came round to mine on a hot day I wouldn't mind you taking off your clothes- all or some of them - if you wanted to. I would assume though that you asked me first whether I minded.

We don't simply wear clothes to keep us warm, do we? We wear clothes to be modest in public.

Over the years- and I think this has to do with foreign holidays being available to the plebs, more and more people seem to think that what is acceptable on holiday- taking your top off- is acceptable in the High Street.

We all have different sensibilites- some peope wouldn't bat an eyelid at nudity on the beach, others would be offended by a topless woman.

It has been accpeted over many years that in the Uk we do not take our clothes off when shopping or walking in a public place when the majority of other people are covered up.

To do so, implies a lack of respect or sensitivity towards how other people might feel.

howtotellmum · 01/06/2009 12:33

hellhath- I think the post from duchesse says it all.

I am sure you and your folks are delightful people, and if you came round to mine on a hot day I wouldn't mind you taking off your clothes- all or some of them - if you wanted to. I would assume though that you asked me first whether I minded.

We don't simply wear clothes to keep us warm, do we? We wear clothes to be modest in public.

Over the years- and I think this has to do with foreign holidays being available to the plebs, more and more people seem to think that what is acceptable on holiday- taking your top off- is acceptable in the High Street.

We all have different sensibilites- some peope wouldn't bat an eyelid at nudity on the beach, others would be offended by a topless woman.

It has been accpeted over many years that in the Uk we do not take our clothes off when shopping or walking in a public place when the majority of other people are covered up.

To do so, implies a lack of respect or sensitivity towards how other people might feel.

howtotellmum · 01/06/2009 12:34

sorry very slow connection atm!