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AIBU?

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Original poster

To remove the toy baby feeding bottle from my dd's new doll bath and feeding set?

1001 replies

Springfleurs · 30/05/2009 15:23

I was brought up to think that breast feeding was a strange and rather disgusting thing to do.

Luckily managed to overcome this myself and b/f both dc for 5 months and 14 months respectively.

Took dd to a toy shop today and she chose a doll bath and feeding set. Unpacked it for her when we got in and there is a feeding bottle in there. I know it might seem a bit precious but it irritated me slightly, as though it was a mandatory piece of equipment for all babies/dolls.

Or

I am taking it all rather too seriously?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 22:36

i will stick with this society rather than agarian idyll carting a baby about

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 22:37

I don't want to suppress choice in working matters scottishmummy. I don't think we have much choice at the moment.

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 22:39

well recession has inhibited and impeded manchoices for many.those in work are lucky

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 22:40

haha manchoices sounds like a tits out mag.i of course measn many choices

violethill · 30/05/2009 22:40

Well I for one am glad that as a working parent I could express milk for my baby to have when I was working. And it also enabled my baby's father to have a more hands on role. I wouldn't want to deprive my dd's of the knowledge that they have that choice open to them too. I think the OP actively wants to limit women's choices, not promote them.

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 22:40

I agree. Doesn't mean things couldn't be better though.

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 22:41

I was agreeing with scottishmummy's last post there.

RockinSockBunnies · 30/05/2009 22:41

I'm not sure why the whole 'live and let live' attitude is something to strive for, frankly.

If you applied that ethos to every walk of life, then there would never be any concern about other people. It would be ok to commit crime, ok to choose not to work and sit around all day, ok to feed your children crappy food, ok not to bother to strive for the best.

Surely an awful lot of the choices that we as individuals make are based on societal or familial expectations of what we should do? Thus, I don't see that 'live and let live' really applies.

People are conditioned to behave according to some kinds of social norms. Thus, in middle-class Islington you'd be frowned on for smoking whilst pregnant or feeding your children McD's or fruit shoots. Accordingly, people in that group condition their behaviour accordingly. There's certainly not a live and let live attitude.

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 22:42

Violethill, my DH had a very hand on role too. He changed every nappy while on paternity leave.

violethill · 30/05/2009 22:45

Very much to norm for many people, wasting. Along with expressing milk so that other people can feed breastmilk to a baby.
It's about giving more choice to people - not less.

violethill · 30/05/2009 22:45

the norm

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 22:49

islington 8th most deprived borough in england and 4th most deprived in London

isnt all kate garraway and town houses.the perinatal mortality rateis significantly higher than the london average.it is a burgh of poverty and wealth

so depends where in Islington you go

violethill · 30/05/2009 22:51

I suppose the thing that I really don't understand, is that if you were brought up to believe that bf is 'dirty', why on earth are you using the same sort of inappropriate brainwashing techniques on your own dd, and encouraging her to think there is something wrong with a baby being fed from a bottle.

Heaven help her if one day she wants to express milk, or if she cannot bf due to some problem, and remembers her mother throwing away the 'dirty' doll's bottle

And if you don't think it'll have that much of an impact on her, then why bother throwing it away at all?

Makes no sense to me.

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 22:56

2006-7 88% of Islington mums BF at birth compared to national average 69%

RockinSockBunnies · 30/05/2009 22:58

Well, since I live in Islington I realise the extremes in wealth and poverty. But, walk down Upper Street, see the mothers congregating in the cafes with their Bugaboo pushchairs, and see how many of them breastfeed, feed their children organic snacks and judge other mothers who do no such thing!

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 23:01

yes that is part of islington but not whole picture it has huge socio-economic deprivation too

not all the chattering classes and bugaboo's

Ponders · 30/05/2009 23:02

"I suppose the thing that I really don't understand, is that if you were brought up to believe that bf is 'dirty', why on earth are you using the same sort of inappropriate brainwashing techniques on your own dd, and encouraging her to think there is something wrong with a baby being fed from a bottle.

Heaven help her if one day she wants to express milk, or if she cannot bf due to some problem, and remembers her mother throwing away the 'dirty' doll's bottle"

bravo, violethill

foryourchild · 30/05/2009 23:05

When I was a child I remember feeding my dolls with bottles and pretending to breastfeed (my mum often talked about feeding us as babies, when my brothers would lift their tops and feed their teddies when my mum was feeding me).

I breastfed my children, but also bottlefed at times. I was under immense pressure to breastfeed and felt very guilty for even thinking about giving them a bottle.

I don't think it will affect her to have a bottle around. But I do know where you're coming from.

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 23:05

The only person other than HCPs who mentioned expressing to me was my FIL, and I think the implication was so that he didn't have to witness me feeding my baby. Definitely put me off.

I don't think expressing so that Dad gets to share in the feeding sounds very liberating to me. It sounds like Mum having to do a lot more work.

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 23:05

as a child i carted toy hoover about did me no good in adulthood

didn't modify or influence my behaviour

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 23:06

Is bizarre how this has morphed into a conversation about islington.

The interesting thing about the "chattering classes" is that if for whatever reason they FF, many will just get on with it confidently, as they get on with everything else confidently. And not suffer huge guilt or worry. IME.

oodlesofpoodles · 30/05/2009 23:08

It doesn't have to sound liberating to you, it just has to be handy to the people doing it.

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 23:08

hasnt morphed was a response to a statement.are you saying we musnt not digress

violethill · 30/05/2009 23:08

'I don't think expressing so that Dad gets to share in the feeding sounds very liberating to me. It sounds like Mum having to do a lot more work. '

  • Well maybe you have never wanted to pop out to the shops, go out for the evening or go to work, wasting.

But many of us do, and find it very liberating. And I never saw expressing or bf as 'work'.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 23:12

no scottish. Just got rather specific there for a moment!

I agree with others that having the choice of expressing so that someone else can feed baby, meaning i can sleep/go shopping/have a long bath/have a drink/go to work/whatever is a great thing.

Choice is the thing in all of this.

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