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AIBU?

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Original poster

To remove the toy baby feeding bottle from my dd's new doll bath and feeding set?

1001 replies

Springfleurs · 30/05/2009 15:23

I was brought up to think that breast feeding was a strange and rather disgusting thing to do.

Luckily managed to overcome this myself and b/f both dc for 5 months and 14 months respectively.

Took dd to a toy shop today and she chose a doll bath and feeding set. Unpacked it for her when we got in and there is a feeding bottle in there. I know it might seem a bit precious but it irritated me slightly, as though it was a mandatory piece of equipment for all babies/dolls.

Or

I am taking it all rather too seriously?

OP posts:
Ponders · 30/05/2009 20:38

Well you made me feel better, LTOS

'To label things as straight "right" or "wrong" does many women who are trying their best a real disservice.'

Amen.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 20:41

ponders.

We all do our best, don't we.

I find these arguments fascinating, that mothers lay into each other so vociferously and take such entrenched sides.

I have never come across anything like this before MN! I suppose in RL people have to be polite to each other

MillyR · 30/05/2009 20:44

I think the argument comes up over and over again on all kinds of MN threads that it is somehow better to bring up children to believe that all choices are equally valid and that they should be tolerant of all of these choices.

I am a little bit too young to have had the postmodern FE/Uni experience so the logic of it passes me by.

I don't agree with the promotion of formula feeding. I think it is wrong to formula feed if you don't have to. I think that babies are dying in other countries because of the promotion of formula milk and the WHO agrees with me. It is utterly disingenuous to argue that the widespread availability without prescription of formula milk is saving babies when the overwhelming body of research demonstrates the opposite to be true.

Some things are right and some things are wrong. I am not asking anyone else to agree with what I believe, but I am not going to bring my children up to believe that it is preferable not to make an absolute moral judgement in any particular situation, and that endless tolerance of damage caused by multinational countries is somehow preferable.

EachPeachPearMum · 30/05/2009 20:47

v interesting... the baby doll I bought for my dd didn't come with a bottle, though it came with everything else... I hadn't even realised this until now, and she bf it anyway, as she sees me bf ds.

Before he was born however, she was most insistent that we needed to buy bottles for 'the baby' and was quite surprised when I said we wouldn't need them... she was 3 the week he was born, and was ebf herself until 17mo, and has never used a bottle even for water

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 20:49

it's a plastic bottle not an incitement to subvert bf activity

what a fuss over a toy.

MillyR · 30/05/2009 20:50

I think this is very common EPPM. DD was BF until over 2 and she has no memory of it and I had to explain to her what was happening when she was 3 and asked when she saw a baby bf.

milkycuntalinasgone · 30/05/2009 20:51

Have only read the op. Yanbu, I do the same thing myself.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 20:52

But millyr a bottle does not automatically mean formula. It can also mean EBM.

Promotion of FF, expecially in 3rd world, is a thread for another time, and the implication that those who say a bottle is a valid way to feed a baby are supporting the practices that formula companies adopt around the world is pretty insulting.

I knew someone was going to bring it up sooner or later though.

You haven't responded re your comment about Bf babies never having bottles which I do not believe is the advice.

nzshar · 30/05/2009 20:59

millyr you said that unless they have to formula feed then it is wrong. What is your definition of needing to ff? Because I'm sure that your definition will be very different from the next person and theirs different again from the following person.

milkycuntalinasgone · 30/05/2009 21:08

Why is is that the desire to normalise breastfeeding is instantly equated to demonising formula feeding?

CarmenSanDiego · 30/05/2009 21:08

I hate plastic doll sets anyway, they're generally tacky and overpriced and on the whole have managed to avoid them. I also hate the crappy accessories and would ditch dummies and bottles.

YANBU op. And I agree that all choices are not equal. Sorry

Ponders · 30/05/2009 21:17

milkycuntalinasgone
Why is is that the desire to normalise breastfeeding is instantly equated to demonising formula feeding?

Breastfeeding doesn't require "normalising" (WTF is this???) any more than bottle feeding does - both are NORMAL (hello?) - but those insisting that bottlefeeding should not be "normalised" are forcibly implying that it is not & never has been normal, ie demonising it.

Get it now?

EachPeachPearMum · 30/05/2009 21:18

who said it was plastic?
DD's isn't- it's a Baby Stella- all fabric

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 21:20

Why is a bottle automatically linked to FF?

That is the bizarre thing in all of this.

scottishmummy · 30/05/2009 21:26

so the mere presence of a bottle could undo parental preferences

yikes!the kitchen toy set might induce stepford like disposition and drudgery

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 21:30

I'm not against bottle-feeding. Sometimes it's necessary.

If and when we have another baby, I may express. I'd quite like to donate if possible, and would stash some in the freezer for emergencies.

I deliberately didn't express with DS as the ignorant useless HCPs tried to push it on me, when it was their crappy care and bad advice that had caused our problems. I worked bloody hard to turn it around and resent the implication that all 'militant' breastfeeders must have had it easy.

Normal means common or generally accepted. Breastfeeding is not common in this country and bottle-feeding is. It doesn't mean that formula or bottles are inherently bad by any stretch of the imagination.
But as breastfeeding is better for babies, it would be better if most babies were breastfed, so normalising breastfeeding is important.

The idea that being opposed to the promotion of formula is sexist is laughable.

milkycuntalinasgone · 30/05/2009 21:32

Thank you wastingmyeducation, you have expressed what I an struggling to.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 21:32

Who has said the promotion of formula is sexist?

nzshar · 30/05/2009 21:32

I have offset the gender stereotyping my mother induced by buying ds a toy lawnmower with a kitchen set

LovelyTinOfSpam · 30/05/2009 21:33

Or rather opposition to promotion of formula is sexist?

2shoes · 30/05/2009 21:36

scottishmummy

Ponders · 30/05/2009 21:36

bottle does not = formula. This has been argued repeatedly on this thread. However being opposed to bottles as such is sexist.

Well done for turning your difficult situation around, wme; but those who couldn't might have tried just as hard as you.

bubbleymummy · 30/05/2009 21:39

ponders - why is being opposed to bottles sexist?

paisleyleaf · 30/05/2009 21:39

The women in my family all breastfed (my mum, aunties etc)
I played with dolls with bottles
(I never did play breastfeeding actually)
I breastfed exclusively

wastingmyeducation · 30/05/2009 21:40

The vast majority of babies in this country are formula-fed.

The assumption on seeing a bottle is that it contains formula, because in most instances that will be the case.

Bottles normalise formula-feeding and the desire to chuck the toy bottles away is an opposition to the promotion of formula.

You said this was sexist, because it meant men couldn't feed babies.

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