To remove the toy baby feeding bottle from my dd's new doll bath and feeding set?

[Springfleurs]

I was brought up to think that breast feeding was a strange and rather disgusting thing to do.

Luckily managed to overcome this myself and b/f both dc for 5 months and 14 months respectively.

Took dd to a toy shop today and she chose a doll bath and feeding set. Unpacked it for her when we got in and there is a feeding bottle in there. I know it might seem a bit precious but it irritated me slightly, as though it was a mandatory piece of equipment for all babies/dolls.

Or

I am taking it all rather too seriously?

I threw away bottles and dummies.
And I was a WOHM.
And I breastfed.
And my children didn't use a bottle.

The argument that getting rid of bottles is sexist is the most utterly absurd one I have ever read on MN. What makes females different from males is that females can get pregnant and breastfeed their young. Sexism isn't just about cultural differences between men and women; it stems from society's failure to accommodate the physical ones. Women should be able to return to work after maternity leave without being told this is incompatible with breast feeding.

There are plenty of things fathers can do with their babies without interfering with the biological function of breastfeeding. A 6 month old can drink from a cup if the mother is at work; they do not need a bottle. I do not think it is sexist for my son to know he cannot breastfeed anymore than it is sexist for him to understand that it is the woman who gets pregnant.

People on this thread stating that all breastfed babies need a bottle is simply ignorance.

Having said that, OP why are you posting this on AIBU? It is very much a personal choice. I let my children play with toy guns, but I would never post it in AIBU because I know lots of other people would, with good reason, ban their own children from playing with them.

Wilkiepedia .

This thread has taken on a life of its own. Just watching now. Too many far more eloquent than me posters.

Well because I wanted to know if others thought I was being unreasonable.

Milly I am interested to know how working full time say an hour from home is compatible with exclusively BF a 4 month old?

Why do people find it so difficult to see beyond their own situaitons and experience?

SF

But why? I am not trying to be rude, I am genuinely curious. Are you asking because you wondered what other people do, or do you really believe that you are possibly unreasonable?

Spam

I am able to see beyond my own experiences. Other people may have chosen to FF for all kinds of reasons and I am not objecting to that. Some women may have a baby and go to work abroad alone for 3 months, and good for them. I am simply saying that it is not impossible to breastfeed and work without using bottles.

I am genuinely curious how others feel about something that I feel strongly about.

Also wondered if I was being somewhat precious about it. As stated in the first post.

My first instinct was to remove the bottle, it irritated me to see it, then I thought I wonder what the general consensus on MN would be on this? I do that about a lot of things actually.

Mine had babies with bottles..... still breastfed anything in sight (including cows etc)

I mean exclusively BF without using a bottle, obviously.

BTW SF I don't actually think YABU, you do what you think best and raise your children accordingly.

It just gets on my tits when people get so militant about BF. To say that people should never ever use a bottle under any circs. I mean it's just silly.

Every family should be able to make choices and decisions based on their own situations.

Mumsnet logo.

What is woman on R holding?

My case rests. It isn't being "normalised", it is NORMAL.

But Milly some women have to return to work very early for financial reasons, i just don't see how that is compatible with exclusively BF and not using bottles.

Using bottles does not equal FF BTW.

I am a failed breastfeeder btw - I did not produce anything like enough milk . You militant exclusive breastfeeders have no idea how painful & depressing it is to have to admit defeat & resort to full time f/f.

It would be nice if you acknowledged that (& then remembered it next time a thread like this comes up)

LTOS who said people should never use a bottle under any circs? I think people have just said it is possible to not use a bottle which is why there is an objection to it being included as an essential item with a baby doll - and yes I believe that including it as part of the set does suggest that it is an essential. Why can't it be sold as a an optional extra? (With attachable breast pump of course )

I don't actually think I am a breast feeding militant, although I don't think that bottle feeding should be promoted at all, in childrens toys or anywhere else. We all know it is available when needed.

My dd did not take a bottle, ever but that was her choice. It would have been easier for me if she had. This makes me believe that bottles are totally unneccessary for b/f babies, unless you CHOOSE otherwise.

It bothers me that I was conditioned by my upbringing and even the nursery assistant in the hospital who fed my ds a bottle of formula the day after he was born because he "needed to feed", to feel that breastfeeding had no real importance thus I stopped after all 5 months feeling like I had done ds a huge favour.

Maybe I am overthinking this but this is a toy geared towards a girl containing a baby bottle for feeding her doll. It bothers me. I personally do not believe that formula feeding is equal to breastfeeding and I don't want the first time she pretends to feed her doll to be with a plastic bottle as though this is an equal option.

Why should I acknowledge it Ponders? I don't acknowledge people who cannot read every time I talk about a book I've read, or mention people who are deaf in a discussion of my CD collection. It doesn't mean that I am critical of them or that I am unsympathetic.

I suspect your words will fall on deaf ears here ponders

bubble throwing the bottle away removes the choice of ever using a bottle under any circs. Or for anyone other than mummy to feed the baby. I just think it's shortsighted. The child will play with the doll in line with his/her experience. So if mummy is BF they will BF the doll irrespective of whether a bottle is included.

Anyhoo I have had a quick look and here is a typical set:

"She drinks from her bottle, eats her own special food, needs her nappy changed, cries real tears, uses her potty, squeals, has movable limbs and is bathable.

All the accessories you'll need to look after her are included: a bowl and spoon, a bottle, a potty, a dummy, a nappy and even her very own birth certificate."

I would argue that having "special food" is an onslaught on BLW, probably spearheaded by AK, so would chuck that. Special bowl and spoon are unnecessary IMO. Chuck. Dummy, never used one, chuck. Baby is clearly not old enough to be potty trained, based on appearance. Chuck.

I mean all in all they're pretty random accessories for a pretty crappy toy. But I don't like dolls anyway.

Chuck the whole lot I say and lets free ourselves of gender-based nurturing play. DD gets on perfectly well changing her teddy bears nappies so that's the way forward i reckon.

Aha SF you have my problem.

BF a child who then, when it would have been really bloody handy for them to take a bottle, wouldn't. She chose not to take a bottle, not you.

Maybe if you leave the bottle in the set your DD's "baby" will choose not to take a bottle as well!

Honestly if it makes you that uncomfortable the throw it away. Either way I don't think it will actually have any impact on how your DD feeds her children if and when that day comes

The doll may also come replete with a horrible synthetic fibre outfit. Does this mean we worry about the fashion choices our DC will make for their offspring??

I think you are being overly precious in answer to your original question.

They already did, LTOS (see post before yours )

There is a major educational opportunity being missed here:

innocent breastfed child, completely unaware that anybody in the world ever feeds their baby with a bottle - "what's this, mummy?"

liberal, educated, tolerant parent: "well, darling, everybody in the world isn't the same as us, & although milk from mummy is the very best food for a baby, sometimes that's not possible - but luckily there is a way of feeding it a different kind of milk instead, & that goes in a bottle like that one!"

BF women are advised that where possible, they should not introduce a bottle because it makes breast feeding less likely. I thought this was very widely known.

Also, if it makes you feel better, my DD found the steriliser and all the bottles etc which I bought before I had her (as you do - what a waste of money).

She gets them all out, takes the lids off the bottles and gets me to fill the lids with water so that she can use them to drink. She hasn't got the first clue what to do with the actual bottles, they are of no interest to her, she just takes them apart and hides all the pieces.

Really I think that in the scheme of things this stuff (ie seeing bottles and that people sometimes use them to feed babies) has very little impact.

Ponders eureka! I have started a reply to this thread many many times and you have just said it in a way that I was struggling to put down.
I bf ds for 3 months but for various reasons had to give up. Not an easy decision I can tell you.

Well my attempts to lighten this up have failed then...

MillyR I think you're missing something there - they should not introduce a bottle too early. Not they should never introduce one

And in real life many people do give a bottle of FF from when baby is quite young and it works for them. Many of my friends have done this.

It's all about choice and flexibility, being exercised within a supportive environment. To label things as straight "right" or "wrong" does many women who are trying their best a real disservice.

I think nipple confusion is overstated generally. ds2 was tube fed and had a dummy but he bf and take ebm from a bottle no probs.