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Original poster

To remove the toy baby feeding bottle from my dd's new doll bath and feeding set?

1001 replies

Springfleurs · 30/05/2009 15:23

I was brought up to think that breast feeding was a strange and rather disgusting thing to do.

Luckily managed to overcome this myself and b/f both dc for 5 months and 14 months respectively.

Took dd to a toy shop today and she chose a doll bath and feeding set. Unpacked it for her when we got in and there is a feeding bottle in there. I know it might seem a bit precious but it irritated me slightly, as though it was a mandatory piece of equipment for all babies/dolls.

Or

I am taking it all rather too seriously?

OP posts:
TubOfLardWithInferiorRange · 31/05/2009 22:19

I don't know about anyone else but I'm thinking about going out for some of those candy fags right now! And I do know where to get them,

violethill · 31/05/2009 22:20

IME children will pick up a twig and pretend if they haven't got candy cigarettes. And probably by reacting as if it's something dirty and dangerous, you'll encourage them to find it more exciting. My kids used to 'play' at smoking - but they don't actually smoke now they're older, and the single most likely reason for that (statistically) is that neither DH nor I smoke.

Children are more intelligent than you give them credit for! A child pretending to feed a doll from a bottle who is also shown that babies feed from the breast, and who is allowed to play naturally without excessive control is likely to grow up better balanced than a child who has 'unsuitable' toys whipped off them

Olifin · 31/05/2009 22:29

I don't think anyone suggested 'whipping' the toy off the child, just removing the bottle before presenting the rest of the kit to the child. Thus, the bottle just doesn't feature from the outset. I think there's a difference between that and this idea of 'confiscating' the toy once the child already has it, which does seem a bit excessive.

As I said, I probably wouldn't remove the bottle personally but I don't see why anyone thinks the OP is being unreasonable for making that decision herself, for her child.

bubbleymummy · 31/05/2009 22:40

I agree olifin - your posts are v well put.

Olifin · 31/05/2009 22:46

Thanks bubbley

herbietea · 31/05/2009 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

violethill · 31/05/2009 23:01

I was a bit pissed off when they got rid of the red bits at the end!

Concordia · 31/05/2009 23:10

Ok, so your DD might play with the bottle and then go on to BF, as many people on here obviously have. But children learn through play, it's important, and for that reason, YANBU, i would at least consider taking the bottle away too, although agree with someone else that there is so much plastic crap toys around our house it'd probably get used as train track anyway.
I personally am a bit pissed off about how many books for siblings about new babies have bottles in rather than BF.
And was secretly rather proud when DS (!) pretend BF his toy penguin in the early months of DD's life (well i guess he thought it was all i seemed to be doing!)

Olifin · 31/05/2009 23:12

Ah Concordia- thank you! I was going to mention children's books earlier but forgot! I did find one or two with BFing depicted but it is most often bottles, you're right.

Zarniwoop · 31/05/2009 23:16

I disagree that the use of pictures of bottles on cards, signs, etc is insidiously promoting bottle feeding. Much as some might wish it otherwise, breasts DO have a sexual connotation as well as a feeding one, and a new baby card with a large picture of a breast on it would be viewed by a significant section of society as somewhat inappropriate.

No-one believes that storks have anything to do with new born babies but people would rather have that on their mantelpiece than a card showing a a giant phallus.

bubbleymummy · 31/05/2009 23:16

concordia - I recommend the child's play book by annie kubler - my new baby. It's all pictures - mummy is just breastfeeding away in the background and daddy is helping with the nappy changing etc. ds1 loves it.

wastingmyeducation · 31/05/2009 23:27

Zarniwoop, why have a picture of either? Who said we should put pictures of breasts everywhere?

Children's play is how they learn.
If it wasn't important, we wouldn't play with them, or provide them with opportunities for play.

Concordia · 31/05/2009 23:34

yes, we've got the ' my new baby' book and DS loves it, but when i bought it i realised how different it was to the other new baby books i had got for DS from the library, full of bottles.

I do think that the use of bottles around and about on books cards etc is promoting formula feeding and therefore should be minimised. I accept that people have a choice to make and respect their decision but actually, formula feeding has for too long been the receiver of many subliminal boosts and removing some of these would not do any harm.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/06/2009 08:38

ROFL @ large picture of breast all over new baby stuff! I'd have to let DH open all the cards...

So to get this straight...

DD gets dolly when i get new baby.

I remove bottle.

Baby arrives and I BF it.

DD sticks doll up top.

I (fingers crossed) express some milk so that I can go out for a while. Baby is fed from bottle.

DD looks confused. And goes and gets bottle from where they live under the sink to feed her doll.

All seems like a rather circular exercise to me.

And i would still strongly dispute that most people before they have children connect the bottle with formula. Most people, if they think anything at all, just think "milk". Loads of people aren't even aware of any of these issues until they are pregnant/have their children. And when they do peer pressure/what is usual where they live is what makes their mind up, not what they had as a toy 20 years ago.

Catching up with the thread is occurs to me that many recent posters are right re underestimating the intelligence of children. The problem with the "remove the bottle" argument is that is assumes that many people are a bit simple, which is why people get so naffed off. People do have independent thought, this attitude of "monkey see monkey do" applied to a childs toy is so irritating.

Incidentally I hated sweet cigarettes, the chocolate was manky and the paper horrible. I went on to merrily smoke 20 a day for 15 years.

wastingmyeducation · 01/06/2009 09:11

You must watch less gendered tv than me then LTOS, 'cos I see one of those SMA or Cow and Gate ads at least once a week.
I suspect that many people refer to formula as 'baby milk' but whatever they think it is, they know you have to buy it.

The one toy bottle as a child won't cause a woman to reject breastfeeding, and nowhere in this thread has anyone said that it would. Another straw man.
But it is part of the culture and part of the peer pressure that surrounds us.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/06/2009 09:37

But this whole thread is about one toy bottle [bangs head on wall]

And what on earth is gendered television? I watch plenty of TV but I'm not sure any of it is "gendered".

And no I honestly never paid a single thought to what you fed babies, other than they had milk. I wasn't even slightly interested. The first time i thought about it was when I was pregnant. The idea that people actually care about any of this before their own children are on the cards is really odd to me. I didn't know or care what people fed their babies before I was pg. I just let them get on with whatever they were getting on with.

If you want to change BF rates it's not a toy bottle that you should be looking at.

Anyhoo all this thread is doing is making me want to feed my next child formula, you lot get on my nerves that much. Ever occured to any of you that that might be why BF rates are so low?

PuzzleRocks · 01/06/2009 09:44

Yep, petulancy is to blame for low breastfeeding rates.

juuule · 01/06/2009 09:51

I'm the same as LovelyTinofSpam. I never gave a thought to what people fed their babies prior to me becoming pregnant. In fact, I didn't give babies more than a passing thought at all. Bottles had milk in them. I didn't consider where the milk came from.

I also don't know what 'gendered' tv is.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/06/2009 09:53
wastingmyeducation · 01/06/2009 09:56

This whole thread is not about one toy bottle being responsible for a feeding decision.
It's part of a culture that promotes and supports bottle/formula-feeding.

Adverts on television are directed at particular demographics. I don't see many ads for beer or cars.
I was just saying you must not be experiencing mass media in the same way I, or most women do if you haven't seen those SMA ads.

I paid attention to things like what people fed their babies before I had my own because I'm interested in things like reducing infant mortality.
I guess not everyone cares about things like that though.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 01/06/2009 10:04

Here we go again.

Now I don't care about infant mortality.

Listen to yourself!

Yes I am always pleased when little babies die, I like to make them into sausages for my lunch.

And if you re-read the OP you will see that this thread is quite definitely and specifically about a toy bottle in a doll set. You may want to argue about other things, but the thread is about a toy bottle.

I don't see that many ads for baby/child stuff as it goes. I am obviously watching superior scheduling. The adverts I see are all for waitrose and breastfeeding. And beer.

wastingmyeducation · 01/06/2009 10:14

Ok, not caring perhaps a blunt way of saying it.
Don't give any consideration to things like infant mortality.
Most people don't think about political issues, but I don't think it's odd to care about things like that as you asserted.

And not caring is hardly the same as actively encouraging, you really do twist words around, poor way of arguing.

The thread is about a bottle.
It is not about one bottle being the sole cause of a woman's decision on feeding.
It is about what that one bottle may represent and what role, however small, that may play in the decision along with every other influence that society has.

I watch tv to relax, not for intellectual stimulation.

hunkermunker · 01/06/2009 10:17

You've seen an ad for breastfeeding?

Are you sure it wasn't for Aptimil?!

mamadiva · 01/06/2009 10:24

Sorry just butting in randomly

Hunker here in Scotland we have nice ad's for Breastfeeding maybe Spam lives here?

Here you go

It's the only one as far as I know but is shown throughout the day although not nearly as much as the formula ads.

juuule · 01/06/2009 10:26

Tbh before I became pregnant I never even considered infant mortality. As far I was concerned babies were born and grew up. That was the full extent of my interest.

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