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Am I being unreasonable to suggest that kids who are faddy eaters have been "allowed" to become so?

1005 replies

Lucia39 · 27/05/2009 20:17

This will no doubt get me "flamed" but hell, I don't want to watch the Champions League final so have left other half and teenage son to do so on their own - a good opportunity for some "male bonding" with some beer!

So, what do other parents think? Are faddy eaters born or made?

I recognise that we all have certain foods that we don't particularly care for or like but once those dislikes have been identified surely everything else should be accepted and eaten? I always advocated the "taste it and see" approach which generally worked. Although I wouldn't suggest that a two year old be given red hot Indian food just to "taste and see", but .... you never know!

I also often wonder if some children are faddy because their repertoire has been so limited and/or bland that they view anything that looks or tastes "different" with suspicion.

When I was growing up there was always an option at meal-times "take it or leave it" and my mother held to the view that when we were hungry enough we'd eat. I am also quite sure that a day without solid food will not actually harm any child!

OP posts:
Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:08

weeeeeeeeasel!

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:10

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Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:13

Ooh I liked that last one, quite pretty!

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:18

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Ah a lovely flower display

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:20

perhaps not!

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:21

meep meep!

GentlyDoesIt · 28/05/2009 14:24

I am sorely tempted to ask you to try and draw a picture in active threads. Maybe a stick man waving his arms in the air, or something.

But I won't put ideas in your head.

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:27

Well I am an artiiist you know but that would be pushing my talents a little I think

Might practice here though lol

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:47

/|/
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Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 14:48

Oh dear, it all went wrong in transit

GentlyDoesIt · 28/05/2009 14:55

It was a very good effort. I like his grass skirt.

kitstwins · 28/05/2009 14:59

Lucia39

Not sure why I'm bothering as your understanding of the facts and complexities of feeding issues is both facile and ill-informed.

Your reply: -

"The fact that your children were premature and had to be tube fed must also have played a part in their development."

No mention of feeding per se just a comment regarding general "development".

Given the importance of initial bonding between mother and child I would suggest that it is possible that any premature baby may suffer from certain psychologically based problems in later life and these may manifest in a variety of different ways!

--

What is this based on? It's speculative at best. The '*Lucia39 Thesis on Eating'? You need to read a bit more about this before making sweeping generalisations about eating and prematurity - issues about which you appear to know very little. If you wish to engage in articulate and balanced debate about it (and I'm not sure you do...) then it helps to have more than a glib overview. At the moment you just appear ill informed a a bit smug.

If this is what you want then super, I'll leave it at that as I've no intention of wasting typing space on someone who is bend on sh!t stirring rather than informed debates.

Levels of prematurity vary as to an individual infant's responses to it. A premature child does not necessarily have 'development' issues as you term it. I know plently of twins who were born premature and tube fed (following IUGR in many cases) and have no developmental issues, feeding or otherwise. They are spot on for their developmental milestones. I also don't think prematurity goes hand in hand with poor bonding between mother and child, which your post suggests. Again, I know plently of parents of premature twins who would find that grossly offensive. Not all prematurity results in NICU, SCBU you know (mine didn't - they were tube fed but they remained with me at all times).

I'm not going to try and persuade you otherwise but I do think your take on feeding issues is wrong. You're coming out with all the standard, ill-informed responses - those of someone who has no real experience of it; just a smug self belief in how YOU'D do things differently if you were in that situation.

Have a child with serious feeding issues. Racket around consultants and paediatricians and read all you can on the subject. Consult The Lancet for obscure articles that might throw a light on things. When you've done all that I suspect you might have a slightly different take on how to deal with feeding issues. You might also have a little humanity and humility too. You never know....

ilovespinach · 28/05/2009 15:02

mmmm Having a fussy eater and a non fussy eater I have come to the conclusion that, in my case at least, the fussy eater has been made that way through my reactions and pfbness....We have an appointment with a child psychologist to discuss it in a couple of weeks

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 15:07

Well said kits . She'll just reply with yet another post which is just meant to annoy you though, that's all she's intrested in...

Gently - A thanks, suppose it does look a little like a grass skirt, i'll just pretend I meant it that way.

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 15:09

ilovespinach - Don' be so hard on yourself. I saw a child psychologist about ds. Her conclusion, I was doing all the right things! He just isn't that bothered about eating

kitstwins · 28/05/2009 15:11

Dalrymps Yep, I think you're right. Given this I'm now going to abandon the thread for the sake of my health. Felt important to get my view across even though it was to a brick wall!

Ilovespinach it's not you. You'll think that way because you're a mother, but I promise you it's not you. Hope the psych helps.

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 15:18
Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 15:21
Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 15:22

Ppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrp.

brightongirldownunder · 28/05/2009 15:37

Gherkins and olives.

Well, thats all DD will eat sometimes.
I didn't offer her any initially, she found some on a plate in a restaurant. It all went downhill from there. I run past the aisle with them in now, so that she doesn't demand them.

Maybe it IS my fault she's a fussy eater - my nickname for her is Pickle.

brightongirldownunder · 28/05/2009 15:39

Sheesh Dalrymps, I could feel the force of that all the way over here in Sydney!

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 16:06

Lol brightongirl

Gherkins and olives eh? Quite a sophisticated young lady then

Dalrymps · 28/05/2009 16:08

Wow, I just checked your profile. I would LOVE your job! How did you get in to that?

Lucia39 · 28/05/2009 16:31

kitstwins:You appear to have some issues with your children's disorders and I may have "touched a nerve" with this thread. However, I will challenge you on some of your statements.

As I am not fully conversant with your own particular experience I can only respond to what you have written.

Regarding my comments you asked "What is this based on?" I was referring to psychological issues not the "nuts and bolts" of the specific medical problems that your child has been diagnosed with. Given what you wrote last night it would appear that I was broadly correct in that assumption. In your most recent post you have written:

[quote] "Levels of prematurity vary as to an individual infant's responses to it. A premature child does not necessarily have 'development' issues as you term it". [end quote]

Yet if we read what you posted last night you appear to be contradicting yourself.

[quote] "Like many reflux babies and tube fed babies she had a pathalogical association of food with an unpleasant sensation. In her case it wasn't the acid of reflux but rather the irritation of her nasal gastric tube. Having been assured by the paediatricians in the hosptial who fitted the tube following her birth that she "would never remember it" I was rather thrown when I discovered this, but apparently it is quite common. It is estimated that around 80% of premature babies will encounter feeding 'issues' relating to their increased incidence of reflux and/or NGT feeding."[end quote] [my emboldening]

That last quote appears to be saying precisely what I suggested, namely that as a result of the problems that arise from prematurity and all the associated interventions combined with the physical inability to be close to her mother, she now suffers from developmental physical problems [gagging, no chew/bite function] and it is therefore possible that these may have their origins in those early experiences. [NB use of the conditional]

Thus it would therefore follow that her present problems are psychological in origin because of her memories that associate food with unpleasant sensations.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 28/05/2009 16:32

brightongorldownunder, Do not undersestimate the power of nicknames! My Dd4 only eats fruits and I blame my good friend Doodle for it because she nickmaned her Juicy just hours after she was born!

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