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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this new term of 'full time mum'

688 replies

blondie80 · 26/05/2009 12:26

i know i'm not being unreasonable.

a woman on that lottery 1-100 show on sat night referred to herself as a 'full time mum'

i take it she meant sahm instead.

i have no bones with anyone's choice as to what the do, sahm of wohm.

but... i was so annoyed i felt she was referring to wohm as - part timers??

does she forget that we do the same stuff as well as a full week at work!!

i was with my mother when we watched the show, and she has 4 dc who have left home, and says she is still a full time mum regardless.

ok rant over.

OP posts:
squilly · 27/05/2009 09:22

Thank you

Morloth · 27/05/2009 09:35

The Mummy Olympics strikes again. You are all mad you know, only I do it the right way.

lockets · 27/05/2009 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

morningsun · 27/05/2009 09:47

surely the term full time mum only usually refers to mums of babies/preschool children as is a full day of caring.
blondie obviously is a full time mum in terms of full time love and responsibility~ as I am now all my dcs are at school,but she's not caring for a baby/child 24/7 in person so would not usually be called full time mum as that implies at home with babies.

Of course none of us are part time mums which is why she has taken offence,but she is not doing the work of caring for very small dcs at home before nursery/school,which is what the term full time mum certainly used to imply.The difficulty here is that if someone like me described myself as full time mum when my dcs are at school I wouldn't saythat was true.

IMO its difficult to find the right phrase and "being at home" or "not working" sounds a bit naff and "housewife" is dated so people started to fill the gap wih full time mum.

piscesmoon · 27/05/2009 09:56

I think it is just because there isn't a term for women who choose to stay at home and not have paid employment. Housewife aways sounds stupid to me-how can you be married to a house? Someone needs to come up with a term that anyone could happily put on a form and the problem is solved! It there was such an answer I think someone would have come up with it by now. It's not something worth worrying about IMO.

thedolly · 27/05/2009 10:01

It sure is difficult to find the right phrase but 'not in paid employment' as proposed by violethill is not a contender - try again

MrsMerryHenry · 27/05/2009 10:05

blondie80, YABU. What a bizarre thread. If someone says they're a full-time mum, it means they don't work outside the home/ earn money from their work, etc etc.

We're all 'full-time' in lots of different roles - full-time daughter, sister, mother, father, etc etc. I can see why you feel it's important to clarify the distinction between 'full-time mum' and 'SAHM', but you're making a big deal out of something very unimportant.

jasper · 27/05/2009 10:10

My dh describes himself as a full time dad.

EVERYONE knows that it means he does not have paid employment outside the home.

It's not a big deal

Personally I am not keen on the terms SAHM or SAHD as they are even more ridiculous if taken literally

jasper · 27/05/2009 10:11

And round here it is certainly NOT a new term

jasper · 27/05/2009 10:12

agree. Bizarre thread. WHy am I joining in ?

MrsMerryHenry · 27/05/2009 10:13

I was asking myself the same thing, jasper!!

Original poster
blondie80 · 27/05/2009 10:49

i can't believe this thread is still going.

and the twisting of words is shocking.

still my view that i will always be a mum whether at work, toilet or wherever without dd and it doesn't make sense for someone to be full time or not full time.

OP posts:
difficultdecision · 27/05/2009 10:56

I'm a full-time mum who happens to do another job aswell 30 hours a week.

Don't really care what other people call themselves to be honest.

DrunkenDaisy · 27/05/2009 11:07

I don't consider myself a full-time mum, because I have full-time paid job.

I don't consider myself to be doing any parenting in that time. So no, I'm not a full-time Mum.

morningsun · 27/05/2009 11:19

blondie stop attacking what everyone else says and read the thread!

FairLadyRantALot · 27/05/2009 11:20

the irony cthea....but I can see that you can't see that

kittywise · 27/05/2009 11:24

well when I registered ds1 10 years ago I was asked what I did. I said I was a full time mum etc. the registrar wrote " of no gainful employment" and that is what is on his birth certificate, lovely

so there you go

cthea · 27/05/2009 11:24

Fairy, heh? Enlighten me. So we can laugh together.

violethill · 27/05/2009 11:24

I find it hard to believe this thread is still going, but just to bring you up to date thedolly....

As 'not in paid employment' was deemed unacceptable I did revise it several pages back to

'Full time mum/dad' or
'Full time mum/dad also in paid emplyment'

That leaves out the seemingly dirty 'e' word for those who aren't in employment and don't seem to want it mentioned. And it includes it for those who are in paid employment.

Can't see the problem with either of those desriptions (unless some people really can't cope with the idea that once you're a parent you are a parent 100% of the time, and would prefer some people to have an on/off mum or dad button - in which case they're nuts and not worth responding to )

kittywise · 27/05/2009 11:27

but actually the only people who care about what name is given are those with insecurities and ishoos, like the op.

morningsun · 27/05/2009 11:28

I am a full time sister

morningsun · 27/05/2009 11:29

and Auntie of course!

Original poster
blondie80 · 27/05/2009 11:29

morning sun, i don't think i have attacked anyone?? i have read the thread.

fyi the thread began as to why would anyone refer to themselves as a full time mum and not just a mum, as we are all mum's regardless.

non working mothers (from what is written here) feel that they have no other way to decribe their roles. working mothers do not like the implication that they are only part-time mothers.

why don't you read the thread.

and i can have my own opinion i don't have to agree with you, just the same as you don't have to agree with me.

OP posts:
cthea · 27/05/2009 11:30

Kittywise - that['s unkind. By the number of people replying - you included - it seems quite a lot of people care.

morningsun · 27/05/2009 11:30

well you are being a bit obnoxious!