to be annoyed at this new term of 'full time mum'

[blondie80]

i know i'm not being unreasonable.

a woman on that lottery 1-100 show on sat night referred to herself as a 'full time mum'

i take it she meant sahm instead.

i have no bones with anyone's choice as to what the do, sahm of wohm.

but... i was so annoyed i felt she was referring to wohm as - part timers??

does she forget that we do the same stuff as well as a full week at work!!

i was with my mother when we watched the show, and she has 4 dc who have left home, and says she is still a full time mum regardless.

ok rant over.

I don't know that the term is never judgmental. I remember once bumping into another mother. I was working part time from home and she asked me what I was doing so I told her. I then asked what she was up to. She said, "Nothing" and then sort of bridled and said, "Actually, I'm looking after my children."

Darn. I knew there was something I'd forgotten.

it really makes me laugh when people say how nursery is so socially beneficial to the child/baby.

full time mums socialise their children alot by going to baby/toddler groups, music classes, swimmming, soft play and sure start centers s well as the usual meet ups at each others houses and the park etc.
plus the children get to experience alot of day to day experiences like going to the shops popping in to see grandparents etc.

I think there was an implication that working even a small amount made me neglectful of my children i.e. she was looking after hers and I wasn't.

Were you physically looking after your child(ren) at the same time as working?

That said, I think her comment also stemmed from an awkward feeling that she should have done some paid work. Her husband pestered her to work a bit and she was quite defensive.

Of course not! I locked them in a shed.

I read this post earlier and commented and went out, now I'm home (obviously straight back on MN!) I can't believe it is still going.

What does it matter what someone else refers to themselves (or you for that matter) as? Everyone does what they decide is best for their family, either through choice or necessity.

I do what works for us and (in the nicest possible way) couldn't give two hoots what others choose to do or call themselves.

If you are happy in your decision I don't see how what someone refers to themselves as could possibly upset you.

tbh, the other mother probably felt just as judged as you did....but again, all perceived judgement....

I mena, I realise that some people are up their own backsides and will use either their working in employd status or their full time childcaring status to be snide, but well, those people have issues of their own, and can't be taken to serious, surely

We have a small cupboard under the stairs that DS fits into nicely - there is no room to move in there, so he can't injure himself. I think a shed would be quite unsafe

YABU

The defining word here is time

We are all full mums/dads

We don't all spend all our time with them

I have worked throughout my time so far as a mother, I haven't parented full TIME, others have helped for a wage, I am a full mum but not a full time mum

I don't understand what the problem is, what should we call women that have chosen to be at home and not at work

Well, in economic terms, they are unemployed. When I didn't work, I called myself unemployed. If people asked me what I did I said, "I don't have a job right now."

Unemployed. Right.

I've never considered looking after my children a job. Never. And I don't parent. I am a mother and I have children. It's not some task It's part of my identity.

For them it may be. Perhaps it is for you. For me it isn't.

Well i am officially a lady of leisure according to friend who has no children.

This means that i don't work outside the home - well not much. And that i have one school age child and one 16 month old and am 30 weeks pregnant.

However i must be very secure in myself as just found it hilarious.

Can't say i really care what mothers refer to themselves as - i tend to avoid it whenever possible as all options sound so twee.

Right, so it's a job if you pay someone else to look after your children but not if you do it yourself.

That's one reason why I would say that. If I paint my hallway I'm just painting my hallway. If I pay someone it's their job.

But really, it's because having children doesn't seem in the least like having a job to me. It seems very very different. In fact, the only thing paid employment and looking after one's own children have in common is that you get tired in the evenings. But that is just how it seems to me. My investment in work is practical, financial, intellectual and professional. What I feel for my children is life long, total, intense, complex and so on.

oh dear me, i still can't believe this is still going on and on and on and on...

Who cares what to call yourself!!!!!
If you love your children and do what is right for them then does it really matter that much?????

i call myself a housewife