Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish there was a precis of the week on Mumsnet?

28 replies

Voltaire · 24/05/2009 22:32

As well as Morningpaper's excellent roundup of the week's highlights, of course.

I'd like to know who has flounced, left their husband/partner, announced their pregnancy, decided to move to Beaconsfield for the schools etc.

I'd like it in Excel Spreadsheet form, please.

OP posts:
norksinmywaistband · 24/05/2009 22:34

MNHQ would never do that, They know that by not telling us we will all continue to live here in a virtual way, just in case we miss something

Original poster
Voltaire · 24/05/2009 22:45

Norks

OP posts:
cornsilk · 24/05/2009 22:49

oooh yes, a bit like a MN version of Eastenders.

Mintyy · 24/05/2009 22:50

Could they also please update name changes (stares pointedly at Voltaire) and advise of any particularly bitchy girly fights as I do like to smirk at those from the sidelines.

If MNHQ could kindly provide this service I would spend a whole lot less time here and my clean washing would be put away occasionally.

KayHarkerDoesNotSimper · 24/05/2009 22:52

Life is too short to put washing away.

A digest with bullet points would be useful, though.

TrillianAstra · 24/05/2009 22:55

I'd like a text or email alert for when a thread was kicking off so I could come watch instead of finding it 5 million posts later.

PerfectPrefect · 24/05/2009 23:02

Argghhh yes Trillian. Worse still coming back from a day out to see hunreds of threads asking why 16 threads have been deleted whilst you were out....tis bloody annoying when you don't know what has gone down but everyone that saw it go down are able to talk about it but we don't understand./

Original poster
Voltaire · 24/05/2009 23:09

See we clearly all need it.

Flouncers: 12
List
of
names
together
with
reason
for
flounce

Political Bust Ups: 586
Breastfeeding Bust (sic) Ups: 900
Style & Beauty Bust Ups: 722
Brazilian versus ZZ Top Bust Ups: 522
Bust Ups Occasioning Actual Bodily Harm: 86

Buzz words of the week:
Cunt 1,765,374,987,654
CBeebies 2,987,675,645
Moat 456,567
Breastfeed 12

OP posts:
PerfectPrefect · 24/05/2009 23:11

Don't forget List of deleted threads Voltaire

Original poster
Voltaire · 24/05/2009 23:22

PerfectP - Ah yes, we must have the deleted threads with their posts restored, in full.

And a precis of the MN guests who came that week to be humiliated.

OP posts:
PerfectPrefect · 24/05/2009 23:28

A list of MN mentions in the media
Name change role (whistles nonechalently)

In fact I think we need more than a spreadhseet - we need a database.

Gamut · 26/05/2009 06:14

Mouldiegate resurrection threads: 5
Degree to which MN is not what it used to be: 47.1%
Mean ratio of tabloidy-type posters to intellos: 3.76:1
This week posters' state of mind is mostly: mardy.
Bitching Forecast for next week: Gale (off Coronation Street) Force 7; stormy outbreaks, posters changing their identity later.

EachPeachPearMum · 26/05/2009 06:22

Number of f/v the 10/10ers eat in total: 1432

Each
Peach
Pear
Plum

Gamut · 26/05/2009 06:26

Teeth-itchiness of pun in 10/10 thread title: Level 99
Brain-shredding catchiness of tune in 10/10 thread title: total
Number of posters hiding 10/10 thread title: 87%

HolyGuacamole · 26/05/2009 06:37

Hilarious thread

HuffwardlyRudge · 26/05/2009 06:47

Baby names up for debate this week: Cuthbert, Roxxii, Dave.

AIBU outcomes: 65% YABU / 25% YANBU / 10% Yeh well you're all a load of beeyatches anyway and I'm right and you're mean and anyway I didn't mention in my OP that my child has seven heads and his school uniform is a purple velour jumpsuit and he's allergic to peanuts and MIL is a door-to-door peanut seller who wears a hat made of dead cats and stolen grapes and pitbulls.

savoycabbage · 26/05/2009 07:45

YANBU

Coundown ticker to the Boden sale

Voting buttons on the baby name threads

Statistics on the EXACT age of every child's first taste of M&S filled pasta

nannyogg · 26/05/2009 08:01

at you lot.

Portofino · 26/05/2009 08:48

Top Ten Posters (by number of posts)

Top Troll of the week.

Gamut · 26/05/2009 08:53

Number of hours lost to the economy and the household through MN activity: 6,3110,476.

bigcometobedeyes · 26/05/2009 09:14

Excellent - I am not a regular poster but hate it when I come on and have missed out on the good stuff. These ideas are excellent

I am grateful to know that I am not the only one who fails to do whole chunkc of housework (occasionally) because of MN

Also a tounge in cheek sterotypical profile of MN - constantly updated

Whats up v Whats down - could be bar chart in the excel spreadsheet

Portofino · 26/05/2009 09:45

David Tennant - whereabouts/TV appearances (in a stalkerish manner)

Ditto Daniel Craig

George Clooney - Gay vs Not Gay - this week's poll

This week's Bumsex thread

Crappest ExH of the week

Original poster
Voltaire · 26/05/2009 11:15

LOL at you all.

Yes I like the idea of a bumsex thread of the week. Instead of the Oscars it would be called the Sphincters.

I'd also like a Gerry Springer O Meter at the top of every thread - with a pulsing 'Very Gerry' warning light for the most extreme.

OP posts:
sockmonkey · 26/05/2009 11:43

Genuis idea. Yes... someone get on that will they?

MmeLindt · 26/05/2009 11:47

Yes please to all these suggestions.

I miss a lot of the late night action because we are an hour ahead of UK so could we have a morning recap for the overseas MNetters?