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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be offended by "don't eat that it's crap!"

52 replies

ChiefFairyCakeMaker · 23/05/2009 22:28

When DS offered his friend some of the junk food he was eating, his mum shouted to him "don't eat that it's crap!"

Now I admit it was junk food he was eating but it was a rare treat. I completely understand that she didn't want him to have it, but I just thought she could have been more polite about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/05/2009 22:29

I'd have pissed myself laughing, tbh. What was it? How old is he?

Was she all shrill and horrified?

AitchTwoOh · 23/05/2009 22:30

lol i bet she was mortified once it was out of her mouth. she certainly should have been. and rare treat or not, it was still crap.

littleboyblue · 23/05/2009 22:36

Yeah, she should have been a bit more tactful I think. I don't think you need to explain what you are feeding your ds. There's too much fuss around food now IMHO.

Flibbertyjibbet · 23/05/2009 22:37

How nice that his mother thinks its ok for him to hear her use of the word 'crap' but not to put crap in his tummy

chegirl · 23/05/2009 22:37

eating junk food is evil but shouting 'crap' at your kids is just fine

chegirl · 23/05/2009 22:38

x posts

ScummyMummy · 23/05/2009 22:40

Oh don't be offended- she's bound to be either totally mortified at letting it slip or so thick skinned she doesn't care, so it's really not worth not seeeing the funny side on this one! What an incredibly precious thing to say!

Original poster
ChiefFairyCakeMaker · 23/05/2009 22:41

She wasn't mortified at all and she couldn't understand why I was off with her afterwards.

You're right littleboyblue - what the food was is not the point, we all have different standards when it comes to what we feed our children, it was the rude way she said it, and thought it was okay to say it.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 23/05/2009 22:45

i wouldnt be offended but i probably would have offended her by accidently laughing in her face.if it was a greggs sausage roll or a fruit shoot-i'll bet the mum was a mner!

my dc have odd treats-i couldnt care less if someone thinks its wrong they are my dc.

and i think its very sweet of your ds to offer some to his friend!

mine you i do the yelling when people shove meaty food in my veggie childs face even when they know hes veggie -as happened today.i almost told them where id like to stick the bloody sausages.

littleboyblue · 23/05/2009 22:47

I'd be more upset about the fact that she said it infront of my ds actually. I wouldn't want him to hear a certain food is crap or another food is better and so on. They need a certain amount of rubbish, fats, sugars and calories to keep the energy they need to stay active. As long as your ds has the chance to burn it off, it just doesn't matter does it?
I've done lots of things where my ds1 is concerned thqat my friends haven't agreed with, but he is my son, I will decide what I think is best, and they'll do the same for theirs. Example, I switched ds1 from the bottle to a beaker when he was 14/15 months in preparation for the arrival of ds2, and 2 friends told me I was trying to get him to grow up too quickly. Rubbish, I just don't want him to drink from a bottle, none of anyone else's business how I feed him really.
Back to point, try not to worry about it. 'm sure there are plenty out there that feed their dc's alot worse than whatever you gave earlier

Kimi · 23/05/2009 22:50

DS1 has food ishoos and if all he will eat is a big mac or some other crap food I let him, its not an every day thing and I don't care if people judge him eating it or me letting him eat it, I think the people who are precious about food do it to cover their own short comings as parents.

We eat organic, fresh food 95% of the time but if from time to time my kids eat shite who cares, I know its shite, they know it but if DS1 has not eaten anything and will eat KFC or pizza then I am just glad he is eating something, even if it is not something I would like him to eat

shockers · 23/05/2009 22:53

YANBU to expect a little decorum BUT... I have to agree with AitchTwo Oh... crap is crap! It worries me what kids view as treats... it's only what the ad men/women tell them! Let's all turn the tide and show our kids what WE regard as treats... strawberries... peas off the plant... a fresh boiled egg... take control of our precious offspring's health and joyfully suggest treats that are worthy of their bodies...

Original poster
ChiefFairyCakeMaker · 23/05/2009 22:56

Thanks guys, DS is 5 by the way. I'm feeling a bit better about it now.

I guess, like a lot of mums, I don't like to feel judged when it comes to parenting, and I just felt like she was saying I was a "crap" parent for giving it to him.

Now she's thinks I'm pathetic for being offended.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 23/05/2009 23:02

thats true shockers but to me junk food is a treat for me too!my children do see things such as a punnet of raspberries or a fruit salad as a treat but same as me they also see a packet of crisps or a chocolate bar as something nice every so often.

to me a treat is something that you enjoy that you dont have often.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 23/05/2009 23:04

TBH I think you're a bit pathetic for feeling offended.

Feeding your kids crap food isn't the same as being a crap parent and I'm amazed that anyone would think it is. I sometimes say to the kids "I can't be bothered to cook, I'll get you some crap / junk food for lunch." I don't think that makes me a crap parent and I don't care if anyone else does.

FGS at those of you who think saying crap is worse than feeding crap. Neither is a big deal unless all you say to your kids is crap or all you feed them is crap.

shockers · 23/05/2009 23:06

Kimi,food issues are a thing I have often encountered with foster children. A very young child can become addicted to junk food and refuse anything else. If the junk food becomes unavailable, they WILL eat, it's self preservation. In the absence of high fat, salt , sugar... a food with lots of taste may be the answer. Fish is good, sardines on toast has been something that most of our foster kids have taken to ( particularly the one in tomato) and omelettes with very finely chopped veg and herbs ( for the flavour that they crave) seem to do the trick too... esp with a dollop of tommy K on the side! My daughter (adopted) worried us sick but now she eats like the proverbial horse!!

littleboyblue · 23/05/2009 23:08

I know what the OP means though about feeling like her friend was implying she was a crap mum. I was having a convo with a dad at playgroup the other day about grapes. Long story, won't bore you, and he said he still cuts them in half for his 2 and 3 year olds and i said I hadn't cut a grape in half for ds1 since he was about 12/13 months, and he looked shocked. I walked away thinking for a second that maybe I wasn't paying enough attention to ds1's safety iyswim. I think we all understand where she's coming from with that thought?

shockers · 23/05/2009 23:11

Cheesesarnie... I like the odd G&T... so I don't begrudge anyone their treats! ( I like a cheese sarnie too!!)

hatesponge · 23/05/2009 23:11

YANBU at all.

She sounds like a prat. Thinking something is crap, and being rude enough to say it to someone are two different things. If she didnt want her child to eat it, she should have said so politely.

Kimi · 23/05/2009 23:12

DS1 is scared of food, There are only about 6 foods that he will eat some of the time.
I would not let my kids live on junk but I do not mind if sometimes they have a happy meal instead of a proper dinner.

I have even been known to eat a big mac on a day out.

shockers · 23/05/2009 23:27

I feel for you Kimi... as I said ds worried us sick. Try some highly flavoured food(with herbs etc) on YOUR plate... always more alluring than what's on theirs! Obviously not spicy though! If you have already tried this then ignore me!! But trust me... children don't usually starve in loving homes. If he'll eat stuff like weetabix... swap it for oatibix, readybreck or porridge ( just thinking of ds2 who had trouble with wheat but craved it like mad) These are only suggestions bourne out of trial and tribulation and NOT a judgement of the way you feed your kids Good luck!

SerendipitousHarlot · 23/05/2009 23:33

^Let's all turn the tide and show our kids what WE regard as treats... strawberries... peas off the plant... a fresh boiled egg... take control of our precious offspring's health and joyfully suggest treats that are worthy of their bodies...^

Is that your idea of a treat then? Because mine is a spliff like a baseball bat and a family bag of Malteasers

discoball · 24/05/2009 08:56

ChiefFairy

a) I think your son sounds very kind and polite, some kids wouldn't even think to share their food with their friends
b) this other mum shouldn't have been so blunt, or used the word "crap" in front of two young children
c) she could have had a quiet word about what she expects from her son in that situation at home
I think people are far too hung up on food these days and people aren't around others 24/7, so they don't see the whole picture, just because you choose to have junk food once in a while, doesn't mean your overall diet isn't good!
I wouldn't dream of saying that to a friend of mine and I certainly don't think you're pathetic for being off with her afterwards!!

skidoodle · 24/05/2009 09:11

What was the "crap"?

Doodle2U · 24/05/2009 09:14

"Is that your idea of a treat then? Because mine is a spliff like a baseball bat and a family bag of Malteasers"

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