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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this attitude incomprehensible?

128 replies

whoisasking · 21/05/2009 09:38

Article Here

(Apologies for linking to the Daily Hate)

I simply cannot imagine writing an article which contained the phrase: "I know that, if I were to lose one of my children, even if I were to lose all of them, I would still have my husband.
But my imagination simply fails me when I try to picture a future without my husband."

So, can any of you say that you love your husbands more than your children?

OP posts:

junglist1 · 21/05/2009 09:40

That's fucking sick. I feel sorry for her children. She's probably a simpering Stepford wife.

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2009 09:40

No, I love DH more after we had DS (I know that sounds cheesy but it's true) but if anything happened to him I know that I would go on. I can't think about the other way round at all, I just can't.
I agree that even if you feel like that (and I'm sure women do) writing an article about it is very sad.

junglist1 · 21/05/2009 09:44

and, AND, is that her husband in the second picture? Blergh

SouthMum · 21/05/2009 09:48

Hell, I love my dog more than my DP so I really cannot see this ladys POV!

Doodle2U · 21/05/2009 09:48

I don't get the point of the article either. What's the message? What cause is she championing? Who says what she is feeling is taboo?

Very self-indulgent and up it's own arse article. She's trying very hard to justify herself but to whom? Who cares?

MrsEricBana · 21/05/2009 09:49

Yup, very weird indeed - maybe she does feel like that, though I can't imagine it, but to write it is very very odd.

squeaver · 21/05/2009 09:50

I bet he's having an affair.

wasabipeanut · 21/05/2009 09:53

It's a completely pointless piece. I wouldn't want her as a friend.

slug · 21/05/2009 09:54

Didn't she write an article like this a year or so ago when she went on about her husband's 'peachy bum'?

ThingOne · 21/05/2009 09:55

Why did she have six children if she's not that keen? Odd woman.

I dislike her attitude but what really gets me is her writing about it. How vile for her children to read about how unimportant they are to her. Selfish bint.

paddypoopants · 21/05/2009 09:57

I was really annoyed at this article. I think this sort of attitude is very corrosive in a family the "I love you but not as much as your Dad". Surely love for a spouse is entirely different to love for a child anyway. My mother was like this - she made it clear that she loved our father more than us. It really undermined her bond with me and my sister. When we were older she has sort of hinted that she wouldn't have missed us as much if we died as when he did. I think it's probably ok to feel like this privately but not to express it to your children ever - and not to write about it in a book or a newspaper.

Original poster

whoisasking · 21/05/2009 09:58

YES ThingOne, that was the thing that got to me. Her children are old enough to read the bloody thing.

OP posts:

madwomanintheattic · 21/05/2009 09:59

interesting as a muse against the cult of motherhood, but really, who cares. a fairly bizarre way of celebrating your relationship tbh. why paint it as an either/or? does it really matter?

not sick, just another pov. a little odd she felt the need to elaborate in print...

bellabelly · 21/05/2009 10:00

Blimey, what a strange article. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself.

stainesmassif · 21/05/2009 10:03

I can't be bothered to read the article. DH often points out to me that i 'prefer' DS - my response is that I would hope he 'prefers' DS to me - it's the natural order isn't it?

Queenoftheharpies · 21/05/2009 10:06

Typical Daily Hate tactics - as a woman you cannot do anything right: working mums are selfish career-driven harridans, SAHMs are lazy unambitious spongers. Put your kids first and chances are you've 'let yourself go' and it's your own fault if he has an affair. Put your partner first and your children will grow up into fecked-up hoodies or binge drinkers. Whatever happens, it's YOUR FAULT.

The love for your partner just isn't the same kind of love as you have for your kids and to suggest that you can somehow weigh each of them up and compare them is stupid. It's like asking whether you love your parents or your partner more.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 21/05/2009 10:06

What is the POINT of women and articles like this?

So she has a very unusual psychological eccentricity. Why is it something the rest of us need to worry or indeed know about?

I just don't care about this woman and her husband with the peachy arse. She sounds more than usually an embarrassing mother, I can imagine her children sitting there cringing and thinking "oh FGS Mum, just shut UP". Especilly in their teens. What is the matter with her, she is so attention-seeking.

KittyBigglesworth · 21/05/2009 10:07

Publicity whore.

Greensneeze · 21/05/2009 10:07

stupid bitch

and they all have fucked up teeth

shrinkingassets · 21/05/2009 10:08

Slug, yes, she wrote almost exactly this piece a few years ago - I think it was in the Guardian Saturday mag.

Jux · 21/05/2009 10:10

I don't much care what she thinks or feels for her dh or for her children; I do think it would be interesting to have psychological assessments of those children when they reach their 20s to find out whether their second-bestness carries over into their adult relationships, or whether, as she expects, they follow her into wonderful out-of-this-world relationships.

bunnymother · 21/05/2009 10:11

Seems like she is looking to plug her book (ie what KittyBiggles said )

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 21/05/2009 10:11

I don't think there is a "cult of motherhood".

Just an acknowlegement that for most of us, our children are more important than anyone else in our lives and that's why they human race has survived.

This is the usual yawnsome media nonsense about finding a random loon and getting him/ her to bang on about something marginal and irrelevant to most of us while pretending it's some great big important social issue/ taboo. It just isn't. It's a marginal eccentricity, of no importance or interest at all. It's maddening.

MummyDragon · 21/05/2009 10:12

Didn't Carol Thatcher say that her mum (Maggie) always made it clear that Denis was more important than her and her brother? And look how THEY turned out...

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 21/05/2009 10:13

Would be even more interesting to follow them up when they have children of their own and find out how their parenting deficit affects their own relationships with their children, if at all.

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