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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this attitude incomprehensible?

128 replies

whoisasking · 21/05/2009 09:38

Article Here

(Apologies for linking to the Daily Hate)

I simply cannot imagine writing an article which contained the phrase: "I know that, if I were to lose one of my children, even if I were to lose all of them, I would still have my husband.
But my imagination simply fails me when I try to picture a future without my husband."

So, can any of you say that you love your husbands more than your children?

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 21/05/2009 10:14

Husbands are infinitely replaceable children are not

GColdtimer · 21/05/2009 10:14

lol southmum. I feel sorry for her kids, having to read this garbage.

duchesse · 21/05/2009 10:14

Ayelet Waldman's well-publicised views about her marriage are old hat and her own business.

I hate the Daily Mail.

Next please!

Greensneeze · 21/05/2009 10:15

the older girl does look a bit sad and lost I think

how cruel to publish this, heartless profiteering exhibitionist cow

my mother was much more fair-minded - she hated my stepfuckwit every bit as much as she hated us

Makeda · 21/05/2009 10:17

She doesn't seem to realise that love for your children and love for your husband are different kinds of love and not really comparable. Perhaps she is confusing passion with love.

AMumInScotland · 21/05/2009 10:19

What a strange person . She's not "admitting" that she feels this way, she's positively gloating about it. It comes through loud and clear that she thinks she's better than the mothers who love their children "more" than their husband/partner, that they're just sheep folliwing in some daft programmed motherliness, but she's got the strength of character to be independent and be besotted by her man. Repulsive, and as others have commented, unfair to tell her children this even if it's true.

paisleyleaf · 21/05/2009 10:20

" I feel sorry for her kids, having to read this garbage"

Same here

wasabipeanut · 21/05/2009 10:20

She def falls into the Julie MeMeMeson category of publishing things about family that perhaps should have stayed private.

I would be suprised if her children don't have any "ishoos."

reach4sky · 21/05/2009 10:24

I loathe these articles when women journalists pretend they are being "brave" in breaking some sort of "taboo" when in reality it just reveals some stonking personality disorder on their part.

Greensneeze · 21/05/2009 10:24

the more I think about this the more I think she is simply a sad case of emotional underdevelopment

the slavish dependence on her dh - and the need to tell the rest of the world about it and be photographed hanging off him like a lovesick teenager

and the way she talks about her dd as a baby sounds exactly like a child playing with a dolly - bathing it and washing its hair

sad, stunted stupid selfish sow

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/05/2009 10:26

Not read whole article, but I wonder what she'd do if her husband and one of her children were drowning and she could only save one of them? Does it mean she'd save her husband over her child? Surely not...it's basic parental instinct to save your children first.

I had that conversation with my DH and I told him that if me and the kids were drowning and he could only save either me OR the kids/one of them then I would want him to save DS over me, and he agreed vice versa.

Original poster
whoisasking · 21/05/2009 10:27

I wonder who she'd rescue if her house was on fire.

OP posts:
Lotster · 21/05/2009 10:28

Awful, obviously. But i wonder if her husband loves her more than he does the kids?! This kind of adoration is usually more from one party than the other...

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/05/2009 10:29

I imagine she'd save her husband over her children because she'd be of the opinion that she could always have more children with him to replace them.

mamadiva · 21/05/2009 10:30

This is pointless, mindless and thoughtless crap that has only been published to shock nothing more.

I have never had the over whelming love feeling for my son or anyone else for that matter but I can honestly say hand on heart that given the choice I would always choose my son before anyone because he is my son, my responsability and my world at the end of it all.

mamadiva · 21/05/2009 10:31

This is pointless, mindless and thoughtless crap that has only been published to shock nothing more.

I have never had the over whelming love feeling for my son or anyone else for that matter but I can honestly say hand on heart that given the choice I would always choose my son before anyone because he is my son, my responsability and my world at the end of it all.

mamadiva · 21/05/2009 10:32

Oops sorry

Original poster
whoisasking · 21/05/2009 10:32

oops x posted with Curly.

I have never thought of love as being so finite. I worried when pg with DS2 that I couldn't possibly love him as much as I loved DS2, but of course I do, and the love I had for my XH wasn't diminished by loving our boys (more for the constant shagging of other women!

OP posts:
LtEveDallas · 21/05/2009 10:44

Ayelet Waldman, for example, is a Twat.

ThingOne · 21/05/2009 10:48

I wonder if putting the "for example" in the middle has buggered up the googling potential? Just in case it has, I'll repeat it.

Ayelet Waldman is a twat.

MummyDoIt · 21/05/2009 10:49

I find it totally incomprehensible because they are two totally different kind sof love. Mother love for your child is giving, selfless, self-sacrificing. The love you have for your husband is one of partnership, mutual caring, mutual respect and, of course, sexual. You simply cannot compare the two. I wouldn't say one love was greater than the other. Certainly my love for DH didn't diminish when I had children. It changed, as we changed, but having children together added a whole new dimension to our relationship and I loved him as my children's father as well as my husband. The idea that it could be a 'competition' is ridiculous.

sfxmum · 21/05/2009 10:51

as some of you have mentioned she is writing it all again the woman is very strange seems utterly emotionally immature

Pogleswood · 21/05/2009 10:51

Husbands may be infinitely replaceable,Ronaldhinhio,but individual people aren't,are they - unless you look on your husband only as someone to father the children,share the chores(fill in as necessary..) I didn't think this was a new idea, - that some women prefer their husbands and others their children - but I don't think you should be saying it,especially in public.Have just run the scenario in my head and I am equally devastated by losing any of them...

OnTheBorderline · 21/05/2009 10:55

My parents were very open about loving each other much more than me (and sibling)

Their favourite, and often said quote was "we chose each other, we didn't choose you"

They did kiss us at bed time, but it was just the routine, they didn't mean it, and now I have mental health problems, probably down to, at least in part, that fact.

pinkstarfish · 21/05/2009 10:56

I can't imagine how those poor children must feel