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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed that the church creche leader gave all the children sweets yesterday

88 replies

punchinello · 18/05/2009 22:17

I think they were haribo type sweets rings cola bottles red hearts bears etc etc. My children are 3.5 and 18 months. Dh says I'm making too much of it and has asked me not to talk to the lady concerned am I?

OP posts:

Hassled · 18/05/2009 22:18

Yes, you're making too much of it. It won't do them any harm and the woman meant well. Just leave it.

Thunderduck · 18/05/2009 22:19

Assuming that they didn't keel over upon tasting the sweets YABU. If they did you may have a point.

cktwo · 18/05/2009 22:19

It's sweets not crack cocaine. Don't you allow yourself a treat?

ReneRusso · 18/05/2009 22:20

not sure. perhaps Snippets could help with this one?

brimfull · 18/05/2009 22:21

call social services first thing in the morning

Yurtgirl · 18/05/2009 22:21

I would be annoyed tbh and yes in the past I have had words with people who have done this

Now my kids are older (4 and 7) I am less bothered - cos they are old enough to know that sweets are a treat

I can never fathom why people love dishing out sweets to other peoples kids - trying to buy their affection perhaps?

I would talk nicely to her...... if you are feeling brave and tactful

Yurtgirl · 18/05/2009 22:21

It seems I am alone again...............

nevergoogledragonbutter · 18/05/2009 22:22

YABU

MillyR · 18/05/2009 22:22

I think if you don't want your children to eat sweets you should teach them to politely decline, although 18 months is young.

My DS once shared a packet of sweets with 2 other children in a park. The mothers came over and were really nasty to me about it. The children were older than yours (about 6) and so could have declined when my DS offered.

Most of the fun of sweets is the giving and sharing.

psychomum5 · 18/05/2009 22:22

oh she did something nice, give her a break.

tis not like she force-fed them fruit shoots or sausage rolls, or even mcdonalds!!

TheProfiteroleThief · 18/05/2009 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plimple · 18/05/2009 22:23

If you're really that bothered, then maybe say something nicely as others in the group may feel the same. It's not really the end of the world, but people dealing with children should know that some parents don't like children getting sweets so should check first. However a church creche leader is probably an untrained volunteer so only say something if it'll be to their benefit.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 18/05/2009 22:23

Rene

For the 3.5 year old YABU, for the 18 month old I can see you being annoyed. DS is only 10 months but I can't see me wanting him to have even occasional Haribo in only 8 months time.

mrsboogie · 18/05/2009 22:26

If you totally deprive kids of any sweets or treats or allow them to stand there having nothing, watching other kids having a treat you will only make them want them even more. Once they are a little older and have access to money...

ChippingIn · 18/05/2009 22:30

Rene

I wouldn't be too chuffed - especially as it was Haribo - if it was chocolate buttons I wouldn't have any problem. Mainly because it's full of crap but also as I am veggie and prefer the kids not to have geletin whenever possible (but live in the real world and realise they will ) - there's also the fact that I think for an 18 month old some of the Haribo are still quite a choking hazard.

Whether I would say anything would depend on quite a few things, the main one being if she would be in a position to do it again, if so I'd probably ask her not to give them out (and explain that in this day and age she'd probably be better off asking the parents first). If she wont be, then I wouldn't say anything...

ChippingIn · 18/05/2009 22:31

mrsboogie - I agree, but I'd prefer them not to have Haribo, especially at 18 months.... now chocolate buttons...that's a totally different story!

puffling · 18/05/2009 22:33

You can't shield children from sweets. DD gets them nearly every time she goes to preschool as they dish them out at birthdays. Friend's mums give them to her. Nana buys her them etc.

BreevandercampLGJ · 18/05/2009 22:35

If you don't like her MO, you take over the job.

It is voluntary and if she does liturgy as well, then it takes more time than you would think.

Your DH sounds like a reasonable person.

Yurtgirl · 18/05/2009 22:38

Bree - why would a creche leader be doing liturgy with the kiddies?

surveyquestion · 18/05/2009 22:39

I don't think you'll get much sympathy ehre TBH.

But i agree with you completely, OP.
It's crap that people just hand out stuff to kids unbidden.
and it's also crap that on here people take the piss out of your annoyance and call you uptight.
It's melted animals! and i for one don't like it and I wish they didn't exist.

You can get halal haribos whch are veggie and they are fab however

mrsboogie · 18/05/2009 22:41

melted animals!!

Thunderduck · 18/05/2009 22:42

Melted animals. Yum!

Yurtgirl · 18/05/2009 22:47

But thats what Haribo is basically, survey is right imho

Did the creche leader think to check whether any of the kids were veggie - I bet she didnt!

CandleQueen · 18/05/2009 22:47

The children who go to the Sunday school (primary age, R-Y6) at our church get Chomps, every week!!
It really bugs me, but only because DS1 is still in the younger group and nags me because he doesn't get a sweetie "like the bigger boys do"

morocco · 18/05/2009 22:53

if it's your regular church, why not have a quiet word with someone and get a new policy of getting parents to fill out forms before the kids go off the creche or church? church is full of form filling these days anyway, they know the way the world is going. it might be best to get helpers thinking about the possibility of allergies etc for the future.
are you really feeling annoyed? why not just be assertive and speak up? maybe you could volunteer to help out in the creche or one of the other groups at the same time - sure they'd appreciate the help

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