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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset and angry because of complaint about my friend breastfeeding?

720 replies

memoo · 17/05/2009 14:59

My friend and work colleague had a DD 6 months ago. We both work in a primary school.

Several weeks ago my friend visited her old reception class in school. The class topic has been 'Growing' ang the reception teacher thought it would be nice for my friend to bring her DD in during the lesson where they would be talking about babies.

I've just had a phone call from my friend and I'm really angry at what she told me.

Apparently at the end of the lesson in school my friend needed to feed her DD and so sat quietly in the reading corner away from the children while she BF.

Friend had a call from the head on Friday telling her that a parent has complained about her BF'ing in front of the children

This parent said that her DS had said he had seen Mrs "boobies" and had been a bit giggley about it.

The head is being lovely and only spoke to my friend about purely to let her know what has happen and as far as I know this parent has been put in her place.

I am just so shocked that this parent could do this. I know the parent in question and the more I think about it I#m getting more and more angry!!!!

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 17/05/2009 20:22

There will be a film Flocci.

piscesmoon · 17/05/2009 20:23

So would a film on breast feeding be better?

WoTmania · 17/05/2009 20:23

FAZ - maybe babies would like their right to privacy to be observed too

daftpunk · 17/05/2009 20:24

f&z;

i b/f ds until he was 3....never in public.

i know the problem is mine...nothing i can do about it.

Thunderduck · 17/05/2009 20:24

I've no idea Twofalls. She just thought it was disgusting.

Dp was quite polite about it though, he even offered to put her coffee and cake in disposable containers so she could consume them elsewhere.

FrannyandZooey · 17/05/2009 20:24

thank god most people don't feel like this
i would have been stuck in a windowless room by myself for most of the last 6 years

chaya5738 · 17/05/2009 20:25

Thunderduck: I love your DP! That is a fantastic response.

Honestly people, I find it hard to believe that 5-year old children get embarrassed or uncomfortable by seeing a mother breastfeed her infant. And if they do, it is because of the neuroses that their parents have imposed upon them.

And all the analogies with sex are just silly. We use our mouths and hands for many sexual things but aren't expected to leave the room when eating...

GColdtimer · 17/05/2009 20:25

did she go?

FrannyandZooey · 17/05/2009 20:25

but daftpunk there IS something you can do about it
you can say "of course women should be able to feed wherever they want and need to and i will support them in that. if it makes me feel uncomfortable i shall LOOK AWAY"

Gunnerbean · 17/05/2009 20:26

Most babies start to fuss around feeding time so it would have been a good time for her to go I would have thought, especially as the OP said that the lesson was due to come to a close anyway.

Did the kids need to have a hungry baby fusssing in the corner of their classroom?

In her shoes, I would have left if I knew that my baby was needing a feed - and that would be the same if I was feeding it with a bottle or a breast.

I would have thought time to go.

Why has everything surrounding breastfeeding got to be such a huge big deal all the time?

It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's perfectly natural, it's best for babies OK all of that, we get it.

Flocci · 17/05/2009 20:27

WOW didn't do that in my day!

But to be serious, those kind of practical demos make sense to me because they are I imagine being done with an age group for whom those things are about to be very relevant, so they need to learn that now. Los aren't going to be BFing so do they really need to be taught about it do they?

In any case, the point is that the woman wasn't giving a practical demo as part of a lesson here anyway - she was just off in the corner when the lesson finished.

Thunderduck · 17/05/2009 20:27

She did go,after a few ''how dare yous'' I was about to say something to her but he got there first.
He's normally so quiet and it shocked me that he spoke up. but I loved it and thought it was a very appropriate response.

tiktok · 17/05/2009 20:28

I know people have opinions about the risk of making four and five year olds giggle, with breastfeeding in their book corner.

I am aware that some people think breastfeeding is a behaviour that should be done in a staffroom or a car or a woman's home, and not anywhere else.

Some people think bf a baby is the same as using the toilet.

I have nothing against these people.

But can I make a plea for those of us who don't want these opinions rammed down our throats, or 'dangled' in front of us, when we are minding our own business reading mumsnet? I find these opinions very embarrassing, as I am a very fragile flower, and I can't actually cope with reading them.

It's actually very selfish, when people with these opinions could go somewhere private, like a toilet, perhaps, and write their opinions down.

Instead, they come onto a public forum and flash their ideas in front of susceptible people like me, with no thought of how I might be feeling about reading them.

I just think people with these ideas should be more discreet and considerate, that's all.

JustcallmeDog · 17/05/2009 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WoTmania · 17/05/2009 20:29

Wow. Just Wow Tiktok.

chaya5738 · 17/05/2009 20:29

"Why has everything surrounding breastfeeding got to be such a huge big deal all the time?"

Umm, because people like you, Gunnerbean, make it a big deal by getting all embarrassed and prudish.

pooka · 17/05/2009 20:29

Maybe, just maybe, fewer adults would dislike seeing a woman breastfeed if they had seen it, if it had been normalised and accepted as nothing extraordinary, when they were 4 or 5, or 6 or 7.

Thunderduck · 17/05/2009 20:29

It isn't a big deal to breastfeeders. It's only a big deal to those who don't see it as the norm, and those who are offended by it. They make it into a big deal.
To those who breastfeed it's just feeding their hungry baby, nothing more.

Flocci · 17/05/2009 20:31

Wow tiktok what a clever contribution to grown-ups trying to have a conversation.

For the record, MN is meant to be for adults so there is no risk of kids being upset by this debate so you don't have to worry.

WoTmania · 17/05/2009 20:32

I though tiktok was nice and succint while making a good point

tiktok · 17/05/2009 20:33

FGS Flocci.....look up the word 'irony' in the dictionary, will ya?

Gunnerbean · 17/05/2009 20:34

TikTok in case you hadnt noticed, this is a public discussion and actually the banner at the top of this particular topic reminds you to "..Please bear in mind that this topic encourages posters to give their opinions - i.e. they might disagree with you."

So, instead of getting all sanctamonious and het up, why don't you hide this discussion instead and toddle off and have a nice cup of camomile tea or something.

Failing that, stick to the breastfeeding forum where you're bound to find opinions far more paletable.

tiktok · 17/05/2009 20:36

Gunnerbean, see if you can share Flocci's dictionary and look up 'sarcasm', ok?

OlympedeGouges · 17/05/2009 20:37

I do wish those with an irony bypass would find a nice quiet toilet to post in actually, and I would be upset if my child were exposed to them.

chaya5738 · 17/05/2009 20:37

Gunnerbean. Again, like Flocci, a pot calling the kettle black.

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