Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

[StripeyOss]

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

1. Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

2. Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

About 15 years ago I found a cooked cockroach in a Muller Corner.

Actually, I found it in my mouth while eating a Muller Corner.

I didn't eat for about two days

at that MP I can imagine checking the pack to see if I'd bought a crunchy muller corner and realising not......

yes I tried to chew it but it was too hard

I realised it wasn't a strawberry as advertised

I spat it out (in the university refectory)

it was a perfectly boiled, hard cockroach

traumatized

ROFL at the spitting!
Also reminds me of finding a praying mantis in our lounge last summer, those buggers turn and look at you square in the eyes when you go forward with a swatter. The event ended in my DH hooking it off the curtains with a mop (!) and flicking it lacrosse style out of the patio doors...eugh, shudder.

Have finally remembered mine. . .must have blocked it out for a while.

I went to my first gynecologist's appointment at age 15. The doctor decided to lecture me about sex, but kept referring to it as 'making babies' (I was there about my painful periods, thanks!). It was ridiculously embarassing.

Then to top it off, it turned out the doctor used the same piano teacher as me and I had to see him every week after my lesson. Yerrgh.

I have a cockroach one!
Was staying in a very grim hostel, and the water had been off for days, desperate for a shower. Rumour went round that water was back on, so went into the shower room. Turned on shower, tepid brownish trickle, not great but decided to wash in it anyway.
Stood under the shower, reached up to adjust shower head to direct the trickle of water actually over my body.
Shower head came off in my hand, and a whole load of cockroaches that were underneath it fell straight down onto my quivering naked form!

Oh my God! TT please tell me you're making that one up!!! Your first story had already won!!!

I have a couple of cockroach ones.... first was in a hostel in Thailand, I was stumbling to the loo in the middle of the night and felt a crunch-squish under my foot, I didn't bother even putting my glasses on to look properly as I knew exactly what was going to be there, shudder...

The next one was in Oz, staying at friends of friends of friends who didn't really want us there at all..
I was asleep in the living room, on my back, and woke up, went to scratch my tickling nose, and found the biggest monster cockroach SITTING RIGHT ON MY FACE waving it's cute little antennae an inch from my eyes... I freaked out and ran screaming and yelling in just my knickers into the kitchen where everyone was sat silently looking at me...

Gaaggghhh. Cockroach. Humiliation. Then seconds later a hideous hangover kicked in.

This thread has made me laugh, boak and stunned me all in equal measure!! My worst ones are

1. Aged 16 at boyfirends family home after a trip to the loo I desend the stairs into the family living room where everyones watching telly, I slip on those shiny wooden slatted stairs and slip down 2/3 through the SIDE of the banisters and hang through into the living room, completely stuck my boyfriend and his brother were pissing themselves and his mum had to rescue me!

1. With current DH before marriage and PIL all having a good drink and chat into the early hours, got pretty pissed, the conversation turned to sex! then DH's sneaking porn on sky when he was a teenager then talking about our sex lives, FIL admitted to getting turned on by hearing us at it and ewwww! then we put a porn video on and commented on what was happening for about 10 mins!! luckily MIL passed out and we went to bed, the next morning was excruciating and totally

No, Naat both are absolutely true (unfortunately).

brave brave woman...

Shineon - you have got me into massive trouble with your boob tube post. I'm on DH's PC pretending to do the banking on-line - he's not amused I've spluttered thick vegetable soup over the keyboard.

at cockroach stories ...

You've made me feel dirty just reading that choseone

Mine is gross but i shall share.

My friend and i walked into her house after a day out, we heard crying and screaming. We rushed upstairs to find her mum in the bathroom in the bath, she had been shaving her bits and slipped and sliced her clit off! There was blood everywhere and we had to call an ambulance. It was horrible and embarrasing and traumatic.

More recently.... not as bad as the first but.

I am in a amdram group and in our latest play we have to get changed very quickly, we have been getting chnaged at the side of the stage. The man who plays my on stage fancy man is an elderly gentleman, wrinkles and comb over and everyhting (lovely man btw) anyway we have all ended up getting changed together and last time i turned around suddenlt to see said man in very tight, see through pants and as i swung round i wobbled and grabbed onto the first thing i could to stop myself falling and grabbed his arse.

I was eating a salad in a cafe when on to the plate out of my forkful falls a tiny slug. On closer inspection they were all through the salad.

I had already eaten half of it

had gone away for the w/end and i was staying in a b+b with few girlfriends.
toilets and showers were down the hall - not in the bedrooms.

we were all getting ready for a good night out and took it in turns to shower.
one friend was washing her hair [imagine shampoo all over her head] when a stranger joined her in the shower.
stranger was female and we didnt know her - still cant believe it now.

what a fantastic thread, PMSL at everything

And I found a huge dead spider in my tagliatelle once, legs akimbo. Bleurghhhh!

Titsa, I actually squealed in horror reading your first one, DH thought a spider had fallen on me

oh popity that reminds me: I was on hol with DH last year and I poured out the muesli and it was CRAWLING with beetles. I mean WRITHING. I squealed in horror and he asked me what's wrong, and I showed him. He said: "Oh I thought it tasted bitter"

TASTED BITTER? How did he not noticed he ate a NEST OF BEETLES? That the yoghurt was MOVING?

It was utterly baffling and I watched him all day expecting him to vomit but he was fine.

Aged 15, bored on afternoon, popped a blank video into the machine...
Yep, t'was my parent's home-made porn

Shaving your clit off....? Oh.... my... God....

reading the shaving your clit off part has actually traumatised me for life :-S

Chosenone, that is wrong on so many levels. I would never be able to face my fil again.