Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

267 replies

StripeyOss · 12/05/2009 23:20

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

  1. Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

  2. Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

OP posts:
MrsEricBana · 14/05/2009 11:47

I think she might have thought I was running away squealing in fun when in fact it was abject terror. If a fish in a restaurant ever comes with a head on it (on my plate or someone else's) I'm off to the loo until it has been dealt with!

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 11:49

PMSL

TheProvincialLady · 14/05/2009 12:16

I've just remembered the time I got out of the car to have a wee in a field - behind the hedge, baring arse to the empty field in case the hedge wasn't thick enough to shield me from passing traffic.

An entire regiment of ramblers came over the hill just in time to see me at the point where I was failing to pull my jeans back up. As I turned round to see what was going on I fell over, revealing my front to them. Then I fell off the gate when trying to get back in the car. It took about 3 hours in total (or so it felt).

pinkstarfish · 14/05/2009 12:16

frazzledgirl, yours reminded me of a similar incidet I had. Did a PG test one evening in my bedroom (shared house, no lock on bathroom door etc), so I went in a pint glass, did the test, threw the test out, forgetting about the pint of wee at my bedside. Boyf at the time came over for a quicky, after we did the deed, he mutterd he was partched, grabbed the pint, took a huge mouthful, then said something about the pint of squash must be gone off as it tasted foul.

He turned out to be a total twat anyway and it always makes me feel smug when I think about it. hahaha

TheProvincialLady · 14/05/2009 12:17

Ha ha

Poppity · 14/05/2009 12:32

My DF had a good weeing one at Glastonbury Festival.

It was scorching hot(unusual for GF I know!), and she was wearing a tight cat suit(it was a long time ago). There were portaloos at the bottom of the field, the Acoustic Tent at the top(she'll kill me if she's on here). And the fieid in between was packed with people sitting on the grass listening to the music.

Anyway, we went down to the loos, it was sticky muddy in front of them. She went in first and I waited with our stuff. Once she had done what she needed to do, she set about trying to pull the catsuit up. She hadn't locked the door properly, and when she leaned against it to hoik them over her bum, she pitched straight out of the door

She didn't have time to catch herself and fell face down with a big squeal into the sticky mud(of dubious origin-everywhere else was bone dry), naked from the knees up

I'm pretty sure it all happened in slow motion and the whole field had time to get an eyeful before she managed to tuck everything back in(including the mud)

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 14/05/2009 12:44

PMSL at this thread... just wish I had the pelvic floor to cope with it....

Makeda · 14/05/2009 12:49

Kitbit that is actually one of my worst nightmares, but very sweet that he didn't want to upset you in your fragile state!

annoyingdevil · 14/05/2009 13:17

When I put my foot into one of my boots only to discover that a mangled mouse (guts hanging out) had crawled in there to die.

One reason never to have cats!

frazzledgirl · 14/05/2009 14:00

When my 85-year-old grandmother (who I was living with at the time in her little spare room) said she was going away for the weekend, and since my boyfriend was coming to stay we could use her room with the double bed.

"Just for sleeping, though," she added hastily.

Urgh. I was in my mid-20s and I still cringe thinking about it...

navelgazer · 14/05/2009 14:08

Only one cockroach story so far?!

Ok, rainy season in Ecuador. I went for a shower in backpacking hotel. As I closed the door shut I thought I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye on the inside of the door. The door was wooden and covered in plastic to protect from the water and closer inspection revealed that under the plastic were dozens and dozens of cockroaches, the whole door looked like it was moving and - here comes the worst bit - there was no door handle on the inside and I had to put my hands on the side of the door to open it with my fingers (my heart is racing now at the thought of this) I could barely speak to tell my DP and mates what had happened. After they went to look we all charged out of the hotel. We went to another hotel and I remember us all just sitting on our beds silently staring into space as if we couldn't get the image out of our minds.

Straight after we went out to dinner. As The waitress brought over our plates of food we spotted a HUGE cockroach on the bottom of one of the plates. We all screamed at once as if we were being murdered and DP (now DH) picked up the salt pot and smashed it several times loudly on top of the cockroach whilst we all continued screaming. The waitresses just leaned against the counter nonchalantly watching us as if we were a bunch of gringo nutters

oldspotraver · 14/05/2009 14:14

Ah yes cats, this happened to my mum but put me off sleeping at hers with the windows open

Hot summer night with the windows open and she lived in a bungalow. He cat jumps on the bed but doesnt settle and is jumping around for ages. Mum tells cat off and goes back to sleep.When she wakes in th morning there is blood spattered all over and the remains of a mouse on the floor.

She realised when the cat was jumping around it was teasing the LIVE mouse, while she was in the bed

kitbit · 14/05/2009 14:21

ooh yes another mouse one: our elderly but sprightly puss liked bringing fieldmice into the bedroom in the dead of night and letting them go. One particular night she decided to bring it into the* bed and let it go. Pandemonium ensued and eventually in the melée of arms legs duvet and fur and all the shouting I put my hand on something small and wriggly. I closed my hand around it and threw my arm towards the open window just as dh flicked on the light. The image of a startled looking fieldmouse soaring out of the window into the darkness like superman will stay with me forever...

duchesse · 14/05/2009 14:25

What I have learned so far from this thread: my long held suspicion that cats do not make good pets, was utterly correct.

Rhubarb · 14/05/2009 14:26

I once had really bad stomach ache. I'd been having problems with my stomach for ages, it was really swollen and I didn't know what was wrong. Then one day I had the most horrendous pain! It lasted all day before I finally went to hospital. They gave me painkillers and you'll never guess what they pulled out of my stomach........

........that's right, a baby. A bloody baby! And blow me if that wasn't bad enough but another came along a few years later! They're still here, I don't quite know what to do with them. But it's fair to say that I have been, and still am, traumatised!

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino · 14/05/2009 14:34

roffle @ rhubarb

TrillianAstra · 14/05/2009 14:36

at Rhubarb

Sounds quite horror-storyish.

You cuold make it worse by pointing out that the thing exited via your fanjo!

screamingabdab · 14/05/2009 14:36

LOL Rhubard

As the fridge magnet says : "I've child-proofed the house, but the bloody things keep getting in" .......

NorbertDentressangle · 14/05/2009 14:58

lol @ Rhubarb....I'm sure you must be able to sue someone for that sort of trauma (your DH maybe )

mamadiva · 14/05/2009 15:11

ROFL @ this fab thread

  1. Me and my mum were out for a bar lunch I was 15, we go up to the bar to pay, I see a pretty bottle and proclaim to my mum and barman in a very quiet but busy pub, 'What's porno?' it was perno the barman stood and said well it's when a man, a woman and a video camera get together I could've died!
  1. When my mum and dad got their water bed and you could hear the rythmic swishing noise
  1. The night me and a friend had been talking about our parents and I stayed at hers, she had heard somehow on the phone that her Step dad always wanted chocolate cake after a shag so cue 8 teenage girls laughing and giggling away.

Me and 4 friends all get up in the middle of the night to get a drink and their stood infront of the fridge wide open scoffing chocolate was a butt naked middle aged balding man no one knew where to look. He grabbed a 2 litre bottle of coke and a dishtowel to cover up LOL.

BalloonSlayer · 14/05/2009 15:42

impressed that he needed a 2 litre bottle, mamadiva

oldspotraver · 14/05/2009 15:44

@ 2litre bottle of coke...was he THAT big

MeAndMyMonkey · 14/05/2009 15:50

I don't know what is worse, NinkyNork's nappy raisin (OMFG how could you eat that?) or Boco's cat's exploding anal glands. Thanks for the mental pictures girls... puts a big old spider and a bit of cat sick into perspective!

Stinkermink · 14/05/2009 18:33

Have had plenty of is that chocolate or poo? moments in my time...vile.

But that cockroach one reminds me of my first french exchange aged 12. We arrived late at night and basically after quick chat and a cup of weak not hot enough tea, went to bed. I was on the ground floor next to the kitchen. In the morning I awoke to a massive cockroach just staring at me from my pillow! I screamed and leapt out of bed, perched on my open suitcase on the floor I looked around and realised that the floor was literally moving with ants and cockroaches. I woke the whole house up with my screams of terror, but managed to exit the room via dressing tables and chairs. It was horrendous. The french parents weren't particularly shocked, and just sprayed the room then reluctantly moved me into a room upstairs and made their son sleep in the wildlife room!

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 14/05/2009 19:00

Driving to work a few years ago I tried to brake in time to avoid running over a squirrel. I ended up running over the tail... just the tail.... I felt the little bump as I went over. Worse.... I looked in the rear view mirror only to watch it have what looked like a 'fit' on the road as it's partially removed tail span around....

Why did I look?

DH has just told me about a time he bit into a plum from his nan's garden and it was full of maggots...