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Original poster

Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

267 replies

StripeyOss · 12/05/2009 23:20

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

  1. Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

  2. Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

OP posts:
jerin · 14/05/2009 09:39

When travelling across Peru the bus stopped on a desolate hillside for a comfort stop. We'd been travelling for hours and I was desperate. Bobbed down on the hillside amongst the short stubbly grass. When I tried to stand up my legs locked and I rolled, arse out, about 30 foot down the hillside. Was badly scratched with bits of coarse grass embedded in my rear and spent the rest of the journey trying to hovver on the seat! Goes without saying the incident was witnessed by the whole bus!

This time in Turkey.....myself and then boyfriend hired a litle boat and spent the day exploring coves and secluded beaches. Just getting down to business on the boat in the middle of nowhere when two snorkellers popped up and asked for a ride back to shore!

And finally.....whilst living and working in Goa got home very drunk one night and desperate for the loo....ran in plonked myself down only to feel a hard cold splat against my bum cheek. jumping up I discovered a frog had taken up residence in my pan! He continued to live there for the rest of my stay but I always checked and coaxed him out before sitting down again!

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 09:50

smurfgirl I had a bloke vom on my legs when I was sitting in a pub once. He did say I had nice legs first though.

Weegiemum · 14/05/2009 09:52

I cannot add to the genius of this thread as all my experiences look tame in comparison ... though I too have troden on mahoooosive slugs in my bare feet.

I have snorted orange jiuce through my nose and had to run very fast to the loo in the last 15 mins!

TrillianAstra · 14/05/2009 09:54

Standing on snails in bare feet is worse than slugs - they go scrunch then squish.

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/05/2009 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 09:59

When I introduced my rather stupid first boyfriend to my family when I was 16. During sunday lunch my mother very graciously told him she liked his aftershave.

He said 'thanks its called Old Semen.'
In fact it was Ancient Mariner I nearly died
I will never get over the look on my mums face.

needless to say the relationship did not last.

frazzledgirl · 14/05/2009 10:13

When I did a pg test with one of those cheapo eBay sticks so I needed some pee in a small receptacle (used a shot glass )

Was BFN, so I threw it away in disgust. Soon after, my mum bought my grandparents round to see my new flat.

Later on, I went into the bathroom and the shot glass of pee was still sitting on the cistern.

No-one ever said anything...

Flower3545 · 14/05/2009 10:22

When I was 18 I worked part time in a social club and at weekends they had singers on.

I met the lead, rather dishy, singer of a group playing one night and he asked me if I'd like to go to their next gig the following night, of course I said yes.

The following night he picked me up in a brand new car (still had plastic on the seats)

We went to the gig which was miles away and I had a fantastic time but drank way to much. He drove me home afterwards and after a few minutes driving he began to scratch his head. This went on for a while until he sighed "it's no good it's driving me mad" he removed his hair all of it I had no idea he wore a wig.

I can remember silently telling myself
Flower you're miles from anywhere, very tipsy, whatever you do don't laugh

Funniest time with him was when he was invited for Sunday lunch and I introduced him to my dad who bless him was a little straight-laced.

He shook my dads hand whilst removing his wig, having just played a lunchtime gig, my dad just looked at me pityingly

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 10:24

Scared of our cat now

frazzledgirl my DD announced to her music group in a very loud voice 'mummy did a wee on a stick this morning and then she cried'

frazzledgirl · 14/05/2009 10:29

Araminta, just laughed out loud.

I still wonder whether my family worked out that it was pee, or concluded it was tequila (twas a Cuervo shot glass with cactuses on it, o god) and I had a serious problem...

kitbit · 14/05/2009 10:32

I went for a walk in the park with ds who was 10 days old. It was my first outing after his birth and I was feeling physically and emotionally very delicate. We were walking under pine trees and at one point dh reached up and delicately brushed my shoulder. I asked why and he said "no reason". Thought no more of it. About 6 months ago (4 yrs later) he finally said, do you remember that day? One of these was sitting ony our shoulder. It dropped out of the tree and landed on you. this

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 10:33

My first visit to my very proper mother in laws house - I went to the loo she left dirty pants and bra on the floor in there. I have never remarked on it either.

Poppity · 14/05/2009 10:40

Pmsl at these

Eeeeeew! at all the insect dropping-on-you posts

I woke up in the night thinking my hair was tickling my mouth, trying to wipe it away, realising it was moving, turning the light on to discover a daddy long legs, eeeeeeeew!!!! Half in my mouth, stuck to my lips, still shuddering now, boak

MrsEricBana · 14/05/2009 10:41

Two things - one was being chased up the stairs by my mum brandishing a herring when I was about 6 (didn't eat fish for years after that) and the other was going to the loo (not just a wee, and I had my period) at a party, not realising that when the bathroom light was on the blind was totally transparent, and everyone at the party (in the garden as was summer) saw the whole, erm, event. I only found out some time later that I had been complete laughing stock, and it as def traumatised me for life! (it would have been bloody funny if it hadn't been me obviously!)

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 10:41

kitbit scary

Poppity · 14/05/2009 10:47

Just after we got our rescue dog, he pooed in the garden, a runny, whitish poo, then licked it all up. Cue me running around him flapping my arms shouting NOOOOO! while jumping up and down, to no effect, he just calmly licked the grass entirely clean.

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 10:47

Taking my daughter out for a posh meal with parents in law for the first time. She was three and expectaions of behaviour unreasonably high. During the meal she needed a wee. I took her to the loo and discovered she was not wearing any pants. So I asked where on earth they were. Oh I took them off she said. Well where are they ?

She said @I hung them on that plant thingy.' When we got back to the table I had to wisk them off the large rubber plant in the middle of the room before anyone could see. Yikes - I still don't know how she managed that one.

Poppity · 14/05/2009 11:07

Just thought of another one.

I was mowing my lawn, it was very hot. I had my wellies on, and after a bit took off my other clothes to my underwearI know, but it was sort of like a bikini and I live very rurally and my garden is completely enclosed.

Anyway, after mowing for a bit I think I can hear shouting and look back towards the house to see two jehovas witness people(one old lady, one man) waving their magazine at me over the back gate!!!!!! They had opened my side gate, walked right through the field and round to my back gate.

I was right up the garden, my clothes were hanging over the shrubs next to the gate they were leaning on. I had to turn off the mower and calmly walk down to them in my underwear and wellies, and tell them I really really didn't need saving, despite appearances, before they would leave.

I quickly put my clothes back on in a flap after they had gone and went inside traumatised. Rushed around tidying for a bit to calm down, fell down the stairs in my rush and badly sprained my ankle.

So half an hour or so later, I'm sat on the sofa with my foot up and ice on it when I feel tickling behind my knee on the other leg. I casually roll the trouser leg up and a MASSIVE spider drops out on to my hand!!! I leap up shrieking, ice out of tea towel all over carpet, giant spider disappeared aaaaah!

I stripped off and went to bed until DH came home.....

TrinityIsLovingHerLittleRhino · 14/05/2009 11:09

oh poppity, you poor thing
that is very funny though

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 11:10

Poppity I can't stop laughing now
Mrs Eric Why a herring

Poppity · 14/05/2009 11:16

Yes, why a herring?!

DH cried laughing when he came home to find me hiding upstairs

NorbertDentressangle · 14/05/2009 11:35

I've just remembered my MIL and her Fanjo of Fire!

PIL were here visiting for the weekend. After having a shower MIL told me in great detail how her fanjo was burning after trying one of the shower gels she found in our shower .

(It was DPs Original Source Mint and Tea Tree shower gel should anyone want to try avoid it)

Now I can't look at any of those Original Source products without thinking of it.

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 11:38

fanjo of fire

AramintaCane · 14/05/2009 11:39

Still want to know what MrsErics mum was doing with that herring

MrsEricBana · 14/05/2009 11:45

Well yes, quite, not sure what she was thinking - must have seemed like a good idea at the time!

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