Whats happened to make you say "My god, i'm traumatised for life!"

[StripeyOss]

Thinking silly things, nothing bad.. its a fun thread people!!

For me, its the choice of two incidents.

1. Discovering my SIL had left the lid off the Vivarium her Tarantula lived in and that it had escaped somewhere in the house... it took 3hrs to find it, 3hrs i spent in the garden btw!

2. Just now i went to throw nappy in outside bin and stood, bare foot on a farkin GIANT SLUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, i shrieked like a girl, then spent a few minutes trying not to

I havent' decided which is more traumatic yet....

Lol.. a classic indeed, keep 'em coming!!

Another cat one to add. I had to look after my landladys two hideous cats for a couple of days and one of them decided to throw up on the lounge carpet, pretty gross in itself. As I went to clear it up I wondered how they had managed to eat tagliatelle. And then the tagliatelle started moving and waving. Tapeworms I believe. Nice................. It still makes me want to puke thinking about it.

I was digging in my mums flower bed a few years ago to plant a shrub I had bought her for mothers day when I accidently came across my pets rat's grave (who'd died about a month before) and dug up his nose which came apart from his skull. (VOM!)

Hearing my mum and her now husband making wall shuddering love when I was teen. Yep, the bed was banging against my bedroom wall, then discovering a vibrator in her smalls draw and a book called 'the new joy of sex'.

An old cat of mine who suffered terribly with hallitosis and chronic dribbling jumped onto my chest one morning whilst I was in bed and began purring and doing that pawing thing so I opened my mouth to shoo her away only for a long tendril of fishy smelling cat spit to drip into my mouth. Urgh.

I walked in on my parents when I was about 12. Ok so that was bad. Worse was that they were going at it doggy style.

When a gland up the cat's bum exploded and sprayed me and my newborn with the most repellent brown liquid all over our faces. I lay there screaming for some time.

When I came home from work to find a tramp with his trousers around his ankles wiping his pooey bottom with newspaper, standing on my doorstep.

Dp's was when he picked up something from the floor and wasn't sure what it was, I was watching him as he stood up and held it in front of his face - realised it was a mouse's head and did a scooby doo style scream and leap. He's v. tall so looked especially funny.

Dear me... the feline kingdom has a lot to answer for, doesn't it?

Our dog used to eat the cat's vom before we could get to it. He drew the line at poo though.

PMSL at "I bark with Banclays"
can't see to type

When i was still at home i went down barefoot and said to my mum oo i can only see one goldfish - at that squelch - the slippery blighter must have jumped out the generously filled tank during the night and then found itself squelched between my toes

Oh, just remembered another one! My friend's dog likes to hang around when she is feeding her 4 month old baby who is quite sicky. He even comes running in when he hears her patting his back to wind him. Yes, horrible little mutt likes baby vomit!!!

Walking in on my parents having sex.
Awful. Just awful.

A few years ago we went out for meal and drinks with very good friends of ours, all got very drunk went back to theirs for the night.

Benn in bed for a while and room starts spinning, I sat up in bed and projectile vomited everywhere!

All over their bed, carpet , up the wall and that dripped down on to a bookcase and onto the books and CDs.

They had to throw out the mattress and the carpet as they couldn't get rid of the stench.

Oh the shame....

I have a cat-owning friend whose standards of household cleanliness are somewhat lacking. When visiting, I became used to sitting on cat hair covered furniture, and picking cat hair from sides of plates, food etc.

However the final straw was picking up my mug of coffee from the floor and finding 3 live fleas floating (or possibly swimming) in it.

Possibly needless to say, I didn't drink it.

Mrs JM, you have reminded me of the following......

I once got very drunk at my friends 18th birthday, and passed out in the loo, having been sick. There was only one loo in the house (which was upstairs). As I wouldn't open the door, her dad had to put a ladder up to the window and bang on it to rouse me.

After exiting the loo - where I had thrown up relatively neatly in the loo itself, and even flushed after me, I collapsed on my friends bed where I spent the rest of the night and half the next morning being sick over her bed, floor, myself, and also all over the lap of a guy I really fancied (& up to that point it was mutual...) who was sitting with me to make sure I was ok.

It took me YEARS to recover from the shame

When dp and I 1st moved in together we were living in a gorgeous 2 bed flat with another bloke, seemed a bit geeky, quiet iykwim. One night he invited his new girlfriend over and proceeded to have very, very loud sex with his headboard banging against our bedroom wall, repeatedly through the entire night ( serious stamina I agree). I could have handled that to a degree but this woman was fanny farting so loudly that at first I didn't realise what the noise actually wasI had to face that woman in the morning with dp trying not to laugh.

omg thease are so funny keep em coming

Rofl at 'fanny farting'. How truly awful for you kitkat.

Finding a stray raisin in DS's cot which I greedily ate only to find it was weirdly non-juicy, tasted of sick and had obviously fallen out of his nappy having already been through him

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW Ninkynork! (loving your nickname btw )

Nothing. Would have to be the death of my son or something similar to really traumatise me for life. I'm pretty resilient.

Growing up in a tropical country, I have a phobia (my only one) of cockroaches, especially flying ones who seem to have a propensity to dive straight for your face.

For my GCSE science exam, I had to describe and draw a cockroach - there was a dead cockroach specimen right there in front of me. Time was running short, I panicked ...

I touched the cockroach with my bare hands. I opened its wings and spread them out with my trembling hands. I felt the scratch of its hairy legs against my skin. Its antenna, spiky bum ....

PSML at all these.

My latest was yesterday coming back from school run - saw a skitty looking cat on the side of the road so went round it really wide - only to look in my rear view mirror and watch it go straight under the tyre of the car behind me !!!
Horrible I didnt sleep a wink!

Other horrid moment was when I had come in and not turned the hall light on and tried to shut the front door - it kept bouncing back everytime I pushed it to, so I tried slamming it really hard ....
Still wouldnt catch so I turned on the light ... very large Toad must have hopped in after me - there wasnt much of it left!

When I was a kid my mum took us to a small circus in Wales, with fairly rickety bench type seating. I had to shuffle along the bench to make room for my sister so I gripped the edge of the bench for security. Unfortunately I put my fingers on something slimy and squelchy. When I bent down to look there was a huge orange slug underneath.....There was much eeking and heaving from all three of us.

And the other thing...

I'm terrified of heights but bizarrely love flying. Last year in Turkey I thought I'd have a go at tandem paragliding, thinking it would be like flying.

The first attempt at take-off failed as I didn't run fast enough, apparently. As I was waiting for them to untangle the ropes etc I stood off to one side and was bodyslammed by the next pair to go, falling onto stony ground and almost over the edge of the rise. When we finally took off I discovered that paragliding is not like flying. I screamed and begged the poor paraglider man all the way down to just get me down, get me down. Poor thing. He tried so hard to make it an enjoyable trip but I was incosolable.

Humph. inconsolable