to be upset over being un invited to a wedding because someone i've never spoken to has decided she hates me?

[Mamazon]

My friend is getting married in Vegas so they are throwing a big wedding party when they return for the people who couldn't attend the actual wedding.

I was invited to this reception.

I have just received a message on facebook! saying

hi hun how are u? well i dont really no how to put this but basically xxx wont come to the reception if u go so im really sorry to have to ask u not to come, i feel really bad i didnt even no things were that bad between u, i hope u understand that this is nothing to do with me and i would of loved for u to of come, sorry xx

Now admitedly the person in question is the grooms cousin so i could understand her predicament BUT i have never even had a conversation with this woman. I have only even spoken to her when she has been with other friends and i've said something like hi or sorry for brushing past or whatever. literally no more than 2 words.
and this is because i have picked up on the fact that she didn't seem too welcoming.

TBH if it were me i would tell this woman ( who is widely known as a vile drunk) to grow up and stop being pathetic. but i fear they have done this because they know she will be drunk and will undoubtedly cause a scene.

I am a lot more upset than i care to admit in RL.

YANBU to be upset. That must hurt.

Go out with the couple/friend for a lovely meal together when they get back?

Is the friend that's getting married a good friend?

I think it says more about the bride, tbh

Sorry, didn't mean for that to sound quite so blunt.

I would be upset too, and would probably want to speak to theis other guest to see if there was some middle ground. If they having such a big party, then chances are you won't even see each other.

are you sure she meant the message for you?

how awful for you though, and ridiculous that even if you didnt get on, she isnt prepared to be a grown up about it for one day

i replied saying that i have no idea why she dislikes me so much as i've never even spoken to her but that no of course i wouldn't attend.

she replied with

do u no what neither do i, i havnt even bothererd to ask i just dont want to get involved, iv enough shit this end lol ! like i said im really sorry , speak soon x

She is clealry not quite as good a friend as i had thought.

I would be very upset, also by the facebook message, she didn't even bother to phone you. To be honest I would re-evaluate how good a friend she is.

if i were the bride and someone gave me an ultimatum like that, it would be her who wasnt attending, not you

Cross posts, I agree, she is not as good a friend as you thought - always very sad when you realise that!

How odd. YANBU at all. Think you are right - not quite the friend you thought she was.

TBH i think your friend is totally out of order to un-invite you. YANBU, I can see why you're upset as i would be too.
I wouldn't get them any form of present or card now that she's been so rude to you. She should uninvite this cousin, not you!

And I agree with lou33. If it were my wedding, no way would she be coming.

Is the cousin going to Vegas?

Its the hen night on friday.
don't think i'll be attending that now either

No deffo don't!!!

I'm amazed that your friend would do this. No friend would do this. Really. You should think about why you are friends.

The other woman is clearly mad to try and dictate what guests should come to somebody else's wedding. And your friend is an idiot to let her do that. It's bonkers.

Get a bit indignant about it!

How horrible You can really do without her as a friend!This other person sounds a nightmare I wonder how she will feel about herself on the day when you aren't there and she has got her way.i hope she feels awful because she deserves too.Like kids at school they are being ridiculous!

How rude. I would never uninvite someone to something on someone else's say so.

This is no friend of yours.

i've really been looking forward to teh wedding as this friend is part fo a larger group of friends who lives a few towns away so we don't see very often.
I was looking forward to friday too as it will be the first time we have all been in one place since last summer.

I really am quite gutted about it all

I can't understand why this person has so much power.Do you know why she doesn't like you?She must be very insecure to do this.Very spiteful indeed Have you told her you aren't coming to the hen party?IMO she owes you a huge apology

How horrible Mamazon.
Try not to feel too upset by it (difficult I know), it's definitely her loss not yours!

Being the groom's cousin has nothing to do with it !

Totally rude to think of doing what she did to you, even worse actually to do it, and doing it on Facebook takes it completely beyond the pale.

Drop her. She is not your friend in spite of the "hun" and "xx" in her so called message to you.

Tell your friend how upset you are. Do it face-to-face, none of this texting nonsense. Do it before the hen party.

Very bad 'friend' - and borderline illiterate too.

Definitely tell her frankly and honestly (but not aggressively) exactly how you feel and what you think of her decision.

If there is going to be any friendship between you in the future you have GOT to communicate now and give her the chance to do the right thing. She's being a coward and letting herself be carried along by pressure from others.

Definitely tell her frankly and honestly (but not aggressively) exactly how you feel and what you think of her decision.

If there is going to be any friendship between you in the future you have GOT to communicate now and give her the chance to do the right thing. She's being a coward and letting herself be carried along by pressure from others.