to be upset over being un invited to a wedding because someone i've never spoken to has decided she hates me?

[Mamazon]

My friend is getting married in Vegas so they are throwing a big wedding party when they return for the people who couldn't attend the actual wedding.

I was invited to this reception.

I have just received a message on facebook! saying

hi hun how are u? well i dont really no how to put this but basically xxx wont come to the reception if u go so im really sorry to have to ask u not to come, i feel really bad i didnt even no things were that bad between u, i hope u understand that this is nothing to do with me and i would of loved for u to of come, sorry xx

Now admitedly the person in question is the grooms cousin so i could understand her predicament BUT i have never even had a conversation with this woman. I have only even spoken to her when she has been with other friends and i've said something like hi or sorry for brushing past or whatever. literally no more than 2 words.
and this is because i have picked up on the fact that she didn't seem too welcoming.

TBH if it were me i would tell this woman ( who is widely known as a vile drunk) to grow up and stop being pathetic. but i fear they have done this because they know she will be drunk and will undoubtedly cause a scene.

I am a lot more upset than i care to admit in RL.

it think if it were me i would put up a worldwide invite to this party on myspace.

hmmm..not that its relevant to the discussion but has she got a bloke? any chance at all that he might fancy you? perhaps she's caught him staring at you with his tongue hanging out?

What a hurtful and bewildering thing to happen. I don't see how any friendship could survive this sort of behaviour.
I love grimupnorth's letter. if you are going to lose contact with this 'friend' make sure you get a chance somehow to have your say!

mwah ha harrr - that's a plan my dear

I am sorry mamazon, I am sure you are lovely and have fantastic norkage, but surely this is not the reason? She cant go uninvite all women better looking than her? Unless her bf/partner has a crush on you, I dont buy it. More likely she is threatened by your friendship with the bride, and wanted you out of the way - it proves SHE is the most favoured friend. Sorry, but they seem to be on that level...

Why dont you call and have a chat with your best friend(s) from that group. Naturally, you have suffered great injustice and need somebody to talk to about it.

I am sure you can then sit back and let events take its own course. MEANWHILE, you write a letter, such as how grimupnorth suggested, and post it to your friend.

That person is a nasty, rude fuckweevil, mamazon. And so is her cousin. They both need poking in the eye.

the letter was very good but tbh i think im just going to leave it with dignified silence.

if peolpe ask me i shall of course tell them. but i shant give the cousin the satisfaction of knowing how upsetthis has made me.

i do however LOVE the myspace invitation idea.
might save that for when i hear cousin is having a party though

i really don't think its a jealousy of how i look. honestly boF was just kidding around. i am in fact a bit of a munter and teh norks are just a bi product of being fat.

You are not a munter. Far from it.

mamazon - how rude and hurtful for you! not much of a friend then if she'd rather have the vile drunk cousin there instead of you.

Console yourself with the thoughts that you
a) don't have to buy her a gift or yourself any special clothes for it
b) the vile cousin will no doubt get drunk and make a show of herself, possibly even achieving a double whammy for you by throwing up on the bride. [evil]

And then lose the "friend". Without saying anything.

It is jealousy, honestly. She might not even understand it herself, but some people feel quite threatened, even unconsciously, by other women with charisma and confidence. How many women really like Angelina Jolie?

(I like La Jolie, but quite possibly for the wrong reasons. ahem. )

sorry...but the bride just can't be as a good a friend as you thought she was.stay away and don't have anything to do with either of them.

how horrid... and what a spineless bride!

I have been in a situation where someone took a disliking to me for now reason whatsoever. When people asked me about her I always said "I hardly know her"... little did I know that they were asking me leading questions as she was being vocal about her dislike for me! The upshot is, they all knew (and liked) me and the more she made a scene the more ridiculous she looked.

You are probably quite perceptive and did not warm to "the cousin" as she is clearly the devil's spawn. She has taken this perceived snub very personally and making the mutual friend take sides in order to feel like she has the upper hand. Very childish and your friend should never have allowed her to have her way.

I would reply to her message though saying that you are, in fact, upset and surprised by this but you will hold no grudges and wish them well?

Sorry I have very rudely not read the whole thread but could you possible email her back and say that you didn't understand her message but you are looking forward to seeing her at the hen do

Your 'friend' is a cheeky mare IMO. Very, very bad to un-invite you over the cousin and to do it on Facebook.....AAARRGGHHH. Fecking Facebook is making people not have to do the decent thing and 'phone' people or arrange a face to face meet.

Am for you and YANBU

Well if I was the bride I would have told the Groom's cousin to grow up and behave herself or she needn't bother coming. As she hasn't done that then I think you just have to rise above it. Frankly it sounds like a tacky nightmare with horrid guests and you may well be better off at home with a takeaway!

Sounds really odd. I can't believe she didn't put her foot down. Definitely 100% YANBU. Can't even believe her husband did not tell his cousin to grow up.

BitOfFun, I love your posts.

Mamazon - I understand you want to stay quiet to not give the cousin satisfaction of seeing you hurt, but come on, it's not like anyone couldn't be hurt by this.

how rude, I think you need to find some proper friends as your "friend" sounds shallow,.

I think if this is the sort of family she is marrying in to she has a lot of trouble coming up.

Hope it pisses rain on them all day.

You are so not a munter (and having met you in RL I too can confirm your loveliness as a person too)!

The bride is an illiterate, spineless, ill-mannered wazzock, her DH-to-be's cousin sounds like an insane bitch with control issues and you're probably better off out of that particular trainwreck.

Love the party invite idea...