to not go into work (again) ?? dh thinks AIBU

[mosschops30]

My father has been in a coma now for 2 weeks after attempting suicide.
All treatment was withdrawn on Tuesday, they dont think he will carry on much longer and my mum says tonight he seems much worse, they have increased his morphine to keep him comfortable.

I have had 2 weeks off so far, one week compassionate leave and last week I took as sick, my doctor has said she will sign me off for as long as I need.

dh thinks I should be going back to work tomorrow but I just cant face it. I cant go in and be jolly and reassuring to people (which is a major part of my job) whilst all the time waiting for 'that' phonecall.

WWYD?? I do feel bad, although no one is needed to replace me as I am still a trainee, but my boss has been so supportive that I feel I should go in.

Just read about your Dad, so sorry, but totally understand how you must be feeling relieved too for all your sakes. Thinking of you xxx

sorry for your loss, I hope your dad has found peace.

mosschops so so sorry for your loss, hope you and your Mum are ok - not at all unreasonable to get your dh to phone work for you, I did that too. Thinking of you x

Sorry to hear what you are going through Mosschops

My beloved Dad died 3 weeks ago so I kind of know what you are going through.

I would not go into work, don't even worry about it. No one in their right mind would ever question this sitaution you are unfortunatley in.

Bit different for me as my dad died suddenly, the shock, and never having the chance to say Goodbye is killing me. If my Dad was still alive, albeit in a coma, I would be there for as long as it takes. I know its along way to go but how will you feel if he dies and you missed seeing him?

Take it easy, be good to ourself and stop worrying about others - you are losing your dad.

I wish you strength xxxx

So sorry Mosschops. Being practical is good, don't worry. But you have to deal with the grief of it too, although not straight away, take your time. Look after yourself.

mosschop I'm so sorry for your loss, take all the time you need to come to terms with it all.

So sorry to hear about your Dad Mosschops, take care of yourself.

sorry to hear you lost your dad one suggestion once all the praitical stuff is done take time out to have acry.

I was the one that had to deal with everything and fekt i could not cry in front of everyone took me 3 months of bottling it up before i could let it go

Sorry for your loss.

I have just seen this mosschops. I am so sorry. You really are going through it. Look after yourself.

DrNorthener - I am sorry for your loss also.

mosschops how are you and your Mum this morning?

DrN How are things with you?

Thinking of you mosschops x

and you too DrN x

Really hope you are ok mosschops. Continuing to think of you all xx

Thank you all for your lovely posts, and sorry for your loss too Dr.N.

I came back from mums last night, will go back on Thursday ready for the funeral on friday. I have spent 3 days organising the funeral, talking to the minister, trying to not say anything nasty to my psychotic step sister (twat)!. I spent a whole day in their office, shredding stuff from as far back as 1978!! (dad even kept those random letters from the GP about having a flu jab!), he was such a hoarder and unfortunately as he became more confused the paperwork became more random with stuff everywhere and 30 or so copies of things, I am exhausted.

And no I havent had a good cry yet, havent been able to in front of mum, am hoping that I can at the funeral. She has picked Michael Crawford's Music of the Night to walk out to, which dh thinks is an awful choice , but she has picked songs that they enjoyed together so I think it will be ok.

There has been lots of other issues with the coroner being involved, post mortems, decisions to be made about things with that that I have tried to sheild mum from. The police also want to take a statement . Still I am not suprised by anything at the moment.

Its nice to come back on here and pour my heart out again

Look after yourself mosschops. Hope funeral goes as well as it can do. I think Music of the Night is a lovely choice. Sorry you have to deal with all the other stuff, something you could really do without, I hope they treat the situation with the sensitivity it deserves.

Stay with your dad.

Everything else is secondary.

Sorry - made my previous post before I has read everything.

Hope you are ok. FWIW - have been through something similar. A good workplace will always understand and give you scope for flexibility. Sometimes work can be a good thing - it gives you the normality you may crave.