Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to expect mum's of girls not to think of boys as some kind of alien species to be feared??

117 replies

Ceebee74 · 29/04/2009 12:22

I have 2 boys and am fed up of people's comments about how awful boys are, how they couldn't cope with a boy etc.

Just what is it that they are so scared of?? Their comfy little lives, where the girls sit prettily colouring in and playing with dolls, being disrupted by a (god forbid) boisterous little boy?

OP posts:

pointydog · 29/04/2009 22:47

I have a lot of first hand experience of many doffernet boys and girls. Does that count? Or do you have to be a mother to them?

I don't accept that for a minute

pointydog · 29/04/2009 22:48

(individual personality, I meant to say)

TheCrackFox · 29/04/2009 22:50

I have 2 boys and they could not be more different if they tried.

hmc · 29/04/2009 22:54

"It's the mums who have one boy and one girl who are by far the worst, ime"

Snort - go on, hit me again! (Such a transparent jibe - Gawd mumsnet - don't you just loathve it?)

You're demonstrating a close minded attitude. It's not 'fashionable' to discern differences between boys and girls certainly, but I am sufficiently open-minded and pragmatic to accept that for whatever reason (societal conditioning? something intrinsic? who knows?) that differences there are - barring the (minority of) exceptions obviously

pointydog · 29/04/2009 22:56

I had absolutely no idea you had a boy and a girl, hmc. However, I have experienced quite a few mums of one each making these comments and thinking I can have nothing of any importance to say on the matter because I have two of the same.

And it is, in fact, rather fashionable to go on about the differences I find.

annoyingdevil · 29/04/2009 22:57

Of couse, it's down to individual personality and anyone that thinks otherwise makes themselves sound pretty stupid.

I have one of each. Both climb everything in sight (trees included), both draw on the walls, both love being outdoors and DD even indulges in - shock, horror - playfighting

People see what they want to see when it comes to gender

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:08

Sorry Pointy - I have this irritating tendancy to loose interest in a debate part way through

I would just add however that I am mildly sceptical about your suggestion that you didn't know I had one of each, given that your initial post was just two posts after mine where I stated exactly that. Not that it's a crime not to read the thread (perfectly understandable in fact - I can only bear to mumsnet when gently inebriated, it offends me otherwise..too much pointless invective)

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:09

Definition of pointless invective: Calling someone stupid when they have a counter perspective to yours

pointydog · 29/04/2009 23:09

I understand your scepticism. I did not read any threads other than the op. I often do that. Didn't mean to personally offend you.

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:11

You haven't! Do I sound offended? (Heck, have no awareness of how I come across)I'm not! Heck, I enjoy a discussion (to a point )

pointydog · 29/04/2009 23:12

STupid? Do you mean when I said the op was as dim as those making the comments? The final sentence was ridiculous, though.

I am sorry if I hurt you, though. I'm a bit of an arse and I really don't want to upset anyone on such a topic.

pointydog · 29/04/2009 23:12

x post.

Ok, I retract

gagarin · 29/04/2009 23:13

but people with 2 dds get the same treatement - like ..."how can you cope with all that whinyness/pink/preciousness..."

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:15

Stupid was a jibe at annoyingdevil. Sorry annoying!

(I think I am a liability tonight, please ignore me Pointy)

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:16

Yes gagarin that's true, and I think half the time people don't actually mean it. It's just small talk

pointydog · 29/04/2009 23:17

listen to you, being all reasonable now

hmc · 29/04/2009 23:20

Yes, I'll admit, that's a new direction for me!

smallorange · 30/04/2009 13:05

As a mother of two girls,I can see that boys are broadly different and need alot of physical exercise etc

But some of these comments irritate me for the following reasons:

ALL small children need alot of exercise and you owe it to your kids to get them to to the park - this is not a just boy thing.
If you treat a girl like a little princess she will behave like one. She deserves to go out, get muddy and learn some physical courage.
Some mothers of boys seem to equate masculinity with aggression - and excuse it or even delight in it.

LaQuitar · 30/04/2009 16:11

I agree with smallorange. There was a thread few weeks ago where the OP questioned her CM's luck of experience with boys-and the boy was 16 months old.Imagine if we have seperate nannies/cm for baby girls and baby boys.What was more shocking is that i was the only one to be so i am pleased to see this thread

MrsGJB · 30/04/2009 16:24

Having brought up two girls folowed by two boys - give me boys anytime (even now that they are adults, boys are still easier all round).

MrsGJB · 30/04/2009 16:25

sorry should have said 4 girls followed by two boys

LaQuitar · 30/04/2009 16:43

At what ages are different/easier and what way?

boogiewoogie · 30/04/2009 17:06

Couldn't agree with OP more. I thought the "smug mum of girl(s)" was a myth until a while back one shouted at ds over what I would have classified as "normal toddler behaviour".

Anecdote goes: dd was 4 weeks at the time and I had moved into a new area. I went to a toddler group with dd and ds, then 3 years old and started chatting to another mum at a playgroup when all of a sudden, I catch sight of ds chasing a girl who is screaming at the top of her voice and running towards her mother. I chase after ds realising that girl is distressed for some reason.

I stop ds and ask what he is doing. He replies "don't know".
When girl reaches mother, mother is red in face and yells at my ds "That's not very nice! Say sorry!" ds apologises then we leave it at that. However, smug mum of girl is not finished and tells me "He didn't even say sorry!"

Me: "He just did"
Smug mum of girl: "Well you didn't make him"
Me: "But he just did" Me thinking " Well, perhaps I didn't but you told him so I didn't get a chance anyway!"
SMOG: "It happens all the time!" Swiping her dd up and walks away with nose in air.

ds hadn't even touched her! I thought she overreacted and from then on, if ds was sat next to her on carpet. SMOG would move her dd to the opposite corner.

Was v upset and tried to remain dignified throughout toddler group session.

boogiewoogie · 30/04/2009 17:06

Whoops that was long!

TheCrackFox · 30/04/2009 17:13

Boogie. I have had that kind of thing loads. Some (small minority) mums of girls will just not let their daughters play with boys. It is quite weird.

My boys have never hit any other children (apart from each other) but their is an expectation that boys mean trouble.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5