Ok I know I'm not but I was so amazed at this woman in Asda...

[Wilkiepedia]

Cute little 3 year old girl with v rough looking mother (sorry but she was).

Little girl chatting away to mum, mum turns to her and says 'If you don't stop talking in that stupid voice I'm going to twat you over the head so hard that you talk like that forever and will be drinking your food through a straw...'

WTF has that little girls future got to hold?

Sorry but I was so saddened and shocked I felt I had to share. Poor little girl

Muppet - I know they're not all like that. 95% are ordinary, lovely people but the 5% that aren't make it not a pleasant experience.

Apparently it's because Asda is full of people like that, it must have something to do with the cash or something unsure myself...

If you are desperately worried and think that someone is actually abusing their child then report it to someone go and get a security guard DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN RUN TO MN!!!

Yes it could have gone wrong and the mother could've beat the crap out of the kid but then again if one of the many people that saw baby P had bothered their arse to say something instead of'oh he might get hit again' he might be alive.

As sad as it is, kids like the little girl you saw are the ones that end up being killed at home and you stood back and did nothing if it really was ythat bad anyone would've stepped up!

Sorry should have been How many of us would sit there if someone came on here and said 'my DP had a pop at me in the supermarket today because he had a bad day'? and say nothing or 'well he had a bad day and it was in asda so its excusable/normal' ???

I was once awake for three days straight with DS..not his fault, he did sleep a little but i couldn't, and by the time i dropped off he was awake again, but i NEVER felt angry, i never even came close.

I put him in the car, i fed him and fell asleep over him, i did have a pop at DP for doing feck all to help..but not at DS and i dont think i would have if i had been kept up for weeks.

I understand now having lost one of mine that children are to be cherished and loved.

Because you never know when they won't be there any more if not for any other reason.

Yay TNOG. How are you?

No, me neither. I think the Asda detail was just a mise-en-scene.

Nancy - there are the odd few yes, but surely that shouldn't stop people shopping there, or being to stuck up to say everyone who goes there are below me iykwim

I don't think there's always a separation between those who abuse kids in public and private.

If I see it happening while out in public, I tend to think that much worse is happening at home where no one can see.

It made me sad to see a young boy being sworn at and shoved into a bush for asking something of his (v middle-class looking) mother, as they walked along a path in a park. She obviously wasn't stressed out doing the weekly shop at the time, not that that would make it any better mind ...

But why put myself in that situation? Nobody's ever threatened to stab me in Sainsburys.

I was in a MacDonalds years ago pre DC's. This woman walked past my table and her bag caught on a chair. The woman obviously thought it was her daughter who pulled her bag and she turned around and slapped her DD (13ish)right across the face. I was horrified and the whole place fell quiet. The young girl just kept walking with her head down

I have been over and over it in my mind and I so wish I'd done something at the time. You can never be sure if your actions will have even worse repercussions for the child though.

< Quattro, sorry I keep dipping in and out and missing you.

I'm keeping well, fairly busy on the work front, thank God, and trying desperately to stay connected to a very independent and wilfull 11 year old >

Hope all is good with you. >

There is talk of Dunnes, here in Ireland, being taken over by ASDA.

Should I prepare by shopping with a baseball bat in my willow basket?

omg I love dunnes... don't let tham take it!

I know I really hope it doesn't happen.

Grafton St is looking more like Oxford st these days.

I shop in Asda every other week or so but it ain't pleasant. I go for the cheapness, not the scenery or charming customers. Having said that, the staff do tend to be lovely in Asda.

Also, I don't accept that MC parents like mine are all lovely in public and then scream and shout at home. Mine didn't anyway. Surely most parents don't scream and shout, at home or in public, regardless of social class?

I would never approach somebody about their parenting and I've seen it all - on public transport, in shops etc. Given the savaging you get on here from other MNers if you dare to even touch upon some aspect of their parenting not being ideal, imagine what you'd get from a mouthy rough parent pumped up on junk food - it doesn't bear thinking about.

The problem with parenting is that the only ones who seek advice on it are the ones who are generally doing a good job anyway. The ones who think they know it all and everybody else can fuck off are the ones we need to worry about, and they don't take a telling, so why risk getting assaulted.

My mum was sadly one of these mums who would verbally and sometimes physically abuse thier child in public from time to time.

Iv just had a memory brought back to me of an episode when i was twelve and we were shoppin in our local tescos in crawley when my mum had a screaming swearing fit at me because I wanted different shoes to the hideous ones she had chosen for me. Iwas called a lesbian ungrateful fucking bitch, hit and marched to the front of the store and made to sit by the security guard until they finished shopping because' i was an ungrateful evil little bitch'

No one said a thing. I think it would have saved a lot of heartache over the years if they had as my mum was mentally ill and my family needed help coping with her

That's horrible, sheep.

Can I just ask, what do you think somebody could/ should have said to your mum, and how you think she would have reacted?

My mum was like that though she has mellowed with age .... sheep, i feel for you when you say that..

But really, what is going to happen from a one off stranger in the street telling these people off..once?

Why do people get angry and feel the need or the ABILITY to take it out on their kids?
Cos a one off is all it would be, sadly, there are not many people willing to take a stand, and even if there were, in a situation like that, some dont want to 'interfere'..or maybe it happens so quickly its over and they have gone?

DS1 is an angel when we go shopping, very helpful, the only thing i say to him which i wish i didn't have to, is the words, no, sorry flower we can't afford it

The attitude to kids in this country sometimes amazes and angers me.

There should be some form of training or something in parenting. And a TOTAL BAN on smacking. IMVHO.

I was in Sainsbury's the other day and a woman told her kid to 'shut the f*ck up' and then rammed her trolley into her and she went flying.... she then chased her down the aisle.

I was wrestling with DS and heavily pregnant so didn't want a confrontation. Feel shitty about it now and wish I'd done something.

sheepgomeep I have similar memories

choice titbits like "I should have left you behind when I left your fucking father, you dirty selfish lazy little bastards, you've never brought me anything but heartache"

I often wonder what would have happened if somebody had noticed/tried to intervene. I think back to adults who were kind to me then and wonder if they knew, or if they would have "done something" if I had told them.

I do try to say something, or at least let the person know they are being looked at when I see this sort of thing. I sort of think abusive parents create a little bubble of fear around them where nobody dares tell them they are wrong - maybe it helps for them to be reminded that the rest of the civilised world doesn't agree that their children are worthless

Before I had children 5 years ago, I was walking towards this man, his wife and two daughters who were approx 3 and 5yo. The 3yo was dawdling, the man turned round to her and screamed, "Hurry up you f*ing stupid bitch!" His wife just laughed.

To this day I will never forget it and the feelings of horror as well as revulsion for the sperm/egg donor (refuse to class them as parents) and fear for the children.

Another incident I remember happened in Argos in a queue. Behind me,a boy approx, 9yo, asked his mother something and she screamed at him to shut the f**k up. I turned around and gave her a filthy look and she just looked away. The boy stood with his head bowed.

There are a lot of emotionally scarred children in society and I don't believe we can ever change that.

I'm not perfect but I treat my children with respect. These parents do not respect their children. Yesterday I went to Aldi with my 5yo DTS and they were playing up. I spoke firmly to them to behave but did not shout or scream. They calmed down. Later, a woman in her 60s approached me and said that my boys appeared to be quite a handful but they are also very happy and that I was doing an excellent job. I felt reassured that I was doing something right with respect to raising them and treating with love as well as firmness.

Are you sure she was the mother? I once witnessed a far more subtle form of emotional abuse of a 4/5 yr old boy in Burger King once. It turned out from eavesdropping that the women with him and the little 5 month old baby with the propped up bottle were in fact his childminder and childminder's mother. I twisted myself in knots for ages wondering how on earth to communicate the crapness of these children's care to their mother/s and realised there was nothing I could do.

Duchesse- I often see a local childminder screaming at her mindees.

QM- I considered:

a) writing and concealing a note in the child's duffel coat pocket for his mother - but he was never left alone
b) trailing them home, making a note of the address and reporting them, but wasn't all that practical as I had to go and fetch oldest from nursery and was rather conspicuous anyway with my big red Silver Cross pram and two babies in it
c) ringing the child minder unit at the council and describing the woman (probably too nebulous)- if only I'd had a mobile phone with camera function back in 1997!

So basically powerless

Wow - loads of posts.

Can I just point out that 'Asda' had nothing to do with anything it was just where I witnessed it (and I do shop in Asda so not sure what the difference is if I had put Sains/Tesco/Morrisons).

Secondly, I didn't intervene because I have done so in the past and got a mouthful of abuse, I was with 2 year old DS and heavily pg so I am not really in the mood for a catfight

Thirdly, my point was WHAT SHE SAID to the child, NOT the way she said it - everyone has sh*t days but I can catagorically state that whilst I may raise my voice to DS occasionally, I would NEVER use the kind of language she used 'drink your food through a straw', 'twat you over the head' - and yes, if you DO speak to you children like that then SHAME ON YOU. However, if you merely blow off steam once in a while by raising you voice and telling them of then you are a healthy normal parent.

They may have had PND? Not an excuse but may explain things?