but he's doing it wrong!

[hmmSleep]

AIBU to feel irritated at the way my dh does the washing up?

He's fantastic, really helpful around the house as well as very demanding job. Have recently moved and no dishwasher at present.

But, he does it wrong!

No order to it. He washes dirty plates first then washes wine glasses in the dirty water, I don't want my morning juice to taste like last nights curry! He sometimes fills the sink with luke warm water, throws in a jumble of pots, then just leaves them there 'to soak'. I then have to fish them all out again a few hours later to wash properly.

I might divorce him

Any tips on how to change his ways without putting him off doing it at all?

Perhaps he'll post 'AIBU to think my dw is an impossible to please witch?'

I know where you're coming from - mine hangs the clothes on the airer in a way which makes it almost impossible for them to dry and very crumpled - but I let it go. If you've already tried a "ooh wouldn't it be better to do it this way" (in a friendly non-judgy way of course) and it's not got anywhere, I'd put it down to being one of his lovable foibles. The big eejit!!

Buy a dishwasher. Save yourselves a lot of hassle.

lol, my dh is exactly the same. i would say yanbu, but you probably are!!

i'm still working on ways to make him change sorry

I hate adult males who are too stupid to do something as straightforward as washing up.

that's all really. Not v. helpful I know.

hmmSleep You don't think he's doing it very badly on purpose so you'll feel obliged to come and take over, do you?

I have been known to do similar myself

you have your morning juice in a wine glass, la dee da

I have to agree with stickylittlefingers I'm afraid!

Just a thought, could he be doing it badly so he doesn't have to do it anymore? My dh and ds try that all the time.... I don't fall for it though!

lol x post abdab, great minds eh?

If I ever hint at criticising the way certain chores are done I get a 'Do it youreslf then, I'm only trying to help' and a strop.

So I just re-do things later or put up with it!

I think "I'm only trying to help" is an outrage actually.

Help who? Why is it helping someone else, rather than cleaning up your own shit?

God I should get off this thread before it turns into the politics of housework.

Apparently I don't do the dishwasher right but then he moans that I don't do it at all......I do it when I need to do it and do it how I like when he's not around.......

LOL I have never met anyone in the world who does the dishwasher right except me.

it kills me when he puts the saucepans on the top rack....

THEY DONT GO ON THE BLOODY TOP RACK!!!!

phew

Total chestnut this. Yanbu.

Mine is also wonderful, caring, hard working etc etc usual caveats, but has total crap way of washing dishes.

He's an easy going guy until you even look the wrong way at the job he makes of the washing up.

I think we're supposed to be pleased they did the job at all, instead of pointing out how they could have done it better. It drives me berserk but on balance I just have to accept it.

GRRRRR.

sticky, think you're right, would much rather he did it badly than not at all!

Hopefully won't be a problem much longer, in process of buying new house, renting at mo, and will def get a dishwsher!!

Going to supermarket now, might buy some paper plates and eat only raw fingerfood.

Doing it in the wrong order is irritating, although personally I'd leave it for the sake of harmony. But 'leaving stuff in to soak' for ages is not actually doing the washing up. It's pretending to do the washing up while actually forcing you to do it. Lazy bugger. (And it's bloody unhygienic too.)

Obviously, I completely agree that it's a completely backwards way to do the washing up - but does it actually make the glass taste of curry?

Back from shops.

edam Yes, I particularly hate the 'leaving stuff in to soak', sometimes I see him at the sink 'washing up' before bed, only to get down in the morning to a sink full of dirty, now bacteria crawling dishes, yuck!

cornflake, nah, not really, but the thought still puts me off

morris so glad I'm not the only one

He also thinks changing the bed covers involves throwing the dirty ones on the floor and leaving them there whilst leaving the duvet in a bunched up lumpy pile in the centre of the fresh duvet cover, grrr.

Why don't you strategically stack? Start putting the glasses right next to the sink, then the cups and plates with the pans and stuff stacked furthest away? It may be enough to gently lead him into doing things in the right order.

BTW, if you glasses taste of curry because he is washing in the wrong order than there is more than just the order wrong!

King I do the stacking thing, beginning to think he does it on purpose now because I've mentioned in the past I think it's a wierd way to do it .

Does he moan at you for doing it the wrong way, or does he let that go?

A dishwasher won't help. DH always did it wrong.

But I was an annoying kid who re-folded the laundry after my mom did it 'wrong'.

Maybe I should live alone?

Apparently I wash up wrong. My MIL would stand over me telling me I was doing it wrong, 3 or 4 times a week. She never told me what I was doing wrong, and as I did glasses first, crockery next, cutlery and then pans I wouldn't have changed it anyway. The last time she told me I told her I didn't want to hear another word from her and ordered her out of the kitchen. She went under protest, but went.

My DW tells me off for rinsing the suds off before putting things on the draining rack.

We can't win.