Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

506 replies

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 13:07

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 16/04/2009 15:15

Now, I do have a dilemma re football lessons. Ds would love to have football lessons (yes, to bloody conform to his mates' tastes). Now, I wish I could comply, but it appears that here in Milan there are no such things as "normal" football lessons, they are very competitive from the word go. WWWD??????????

edam · 16/04/2009 15:16

I thought the idea of the arms held by the side Irish dancing thing was to discourage teenage boys and girls from actually touching each other. Because dancing together might lead on to other things...

And yes, I know boys aren't necessarily exempt from ballet, just glad it's not seen as an issue for boys in the way it is for girls. One of my mother's friends has a teenage son who has Saturday lessons at the Royal Ballet school - she drives all the way from Norfolk to West London and back again! I would NOT be anywhere near that devoted.

cory · 16/04/2009 15:16

I had very little support for my interest in riding and in animals in general, because everybody assumed that it was only one of those girlie things. Have always suspected that if I had been a boy I might have been taken more seriously. And my interest in animals was quite serious, as is shown by my current six fish tanks and fairly ruthless breeding schemes. Otoh any interest in playing an instrument (which frankly was very slight on my part) was pounced on by my family as this was a real, bona fide non-girlie interest. Back-to-front stereotyping is as bad as straightforward stereotyping imo; either way, it means you don't get to do what you want.

(all right, I do realise my parents just went for what was cheapest)

Cammelia · 16/04/2009 15:18

If you feel sniggering at a 12 year old girl who learns French as one of her lessons at school, has piano and violin and singing lessons at school (and is in the school choir and orchestra) is appropriate morningpaper - then I feel sorry for you.

smallorange · 16/04/2009 15:18

I love Irish dancing but am confused by the hair thing. How do they do that?

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 15:19

did anyone see my comment further down regarding football???

prefessional footballers do ballet as part of their training, to help them understand their body better (or something along thos lines).

I know this as DHs grandad played for england, and then was trainer for certain clubs and then physio for AFCBournemouth before he died.

plus, the ballet teacher was engaged to a footballer, and she said the same thing too.

sooooo

footballers do better if they also do ballet

mileniwmffalcon · 16/04/2009 15:19

how many ballet dancing children do exams? i'm curious about what's the norm, whether those who don't do exams are in the minority.

smallorange · 16/04/2009 15:20

Anyway it all worked out fine for Billy Elliot, didn't it?

Original poster
morningpaper · 16/04/2009 15:20

aw Cammelia that's no fun, I had visions of her being about 4

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 16/04/2009 15:20

Maybe Cammelia's daughter should be spending her time hanging round the streets haraunging passers by like the stereotypical teenager instead of on constructive activities.

She sounds lovely Cammelia.

ShrinkingViolet · 16/04/2009 15:20

LOLing at the image of my three as pink fluffy ballerinas - I've spent the past four years worth of Saturdays at ballet, and Sundays at rugby (all with DDs). Is that more or less sinister then?

ShrinkingViolet · 16/04/2009 15:21

irish dancing hair is wigs btw - no idea why though.

edam · 16/04/2009 15:21

Cammellia - I think MP might have thought your dd was one of those children who is rushed around to at least one after-school activity every day with never a chance to sit down. Clearly not.

edam · 16/04/2009 15:22

what hair thing re. irish dancing?

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 15:22

all mine do exams. in the dance school they attend it is expected that they do at least one exam per year as part of their commitment. plus they go up the school with their peers.

that said, I only felt pressured to enter mine for exams once they got to grade 1. I couldn;t always afford them to do the exams before, so the teacher just classed them as passed anyway so they could stay with their group.

pointydog · 16/04/2009 15:23

I agree with the op, on the whole.

I think the fact that so many people take their dds to ballet is plain daft.

Do another type of dance, ideally one that isn't so uptight.

mileniwmffalcon · 16/04/2009 15:24

what age do they start with the exams?

islandofsodor · 16/04/2009 15:24

Most tend to do the exams maybe once ever 12-18 months as in the early stages they are actually done in groups so they do it with their friends. However they are optional.

I gacve up dance (latin & ballroom) as they wouldn't let me progress if I didn;t take exams. Asthma meant I got nervous and had an attack before all exams school and otherwise at that age so I gave up.

Things are mostly different today.

cory · 16/04/2009 15:25

mileniwmffalcon on Thu 16-Apr-09 15:19:04
"how many ballet dancing children do exams?"

the way it works at our ballet school is that you would normally do exams to move up a grade after Primary (so after the first couple of years)

you do the exam when the teacher feels you are ready, so there is little risk of failing it

however, if there are special reasons why you can't do the exam (e.g. SN), the ballet school may well move you up anyway, so as not to leave an older child stranded in a class with younger children

lots of children will have dropped out before they get to the exam stage, simply because young children are fickle in their interests and the ones who started out with fluffy ideas in their mind won't necessarily like the idea of having to work at learning something

cory · 16/04/2009 15:25

mileniwmffalcon on Thu 16-Apr-09 15:19:04
"how many ballet dancing children do exams?"

the way it works at our ballet school is that you would normally do exams to move up a grade after Primary (so after the first couple of years)

you do the exam when the teacher feels you are ready, so there is little risk of failing it

however, if there are special reasons why you can't do the exam (e.g. SN), the ballet school may well move you up anyway, so as not to leave an older child stranded in a class with younger children

lots of children will have dropped out before they get to the exam stage, simply because young children are fickle in their interests and the ones who started out with fluffy ideas in their mind won't necessarily like the idea of having to work at learning something

islandofsodor · 16/04/2009 15:26

Depends on the schoool and the child.

There is a pre-syllabus assessment whcih dd took at 5. This is a non pass of fial thing but they get a little certificate with constructive comments on.

Then there is Pre-Primary and Primary. Grade 1 has a minum age of 7, most are around 8 when they take them.

Drama exams you can start at 5.

smallorange · 16/04/2009 15:26

Oh wigs! I see the girls going in for lesons and their hair is tightly, tightly curled and immaculate.

I always think DD1 would love to do that but I could never get the hair thing right!

But a wig - I could do that.

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 15:28

mine started taking their exams from age 7, altho that was the primary exams, which DD1 and DD2 took, I never put DD3 in for (bad neglectful mummy......she was ill then tho).

DD3 is now 10 and just taken her grade 2 ballet. (and got distiction too)

ShrinkingViolet · 16/04/2009 15:28

smallorange - the dresses are horrendously expensive though, you can pay £300 plus . Makes ballet a cheap option comparatively . We don't do Irish dancing btw, a cousin's DD does.

MarmadukeScarlet · 16/04/2009 15:29

ffalcon No problem.

I still have the sturdy body type that I had as a young child - which DD has inherited. I did manage to shake some of it off for a bit in my teens/early 20s.

She gets to see me being completely unselfconscious and awandering around in the buff at home, I'm sure before long she will be poking covering her eyes, but currently I am being the best positive role model I can.

She see me, and joins me, taking part in activities that are a challenge to her (and my) natural abilities and build (such as nordic walking - very confusing with long ski poles and opposing arm/leg co-ordination). She measures herself at the Go Ape centre every time we walk by, she is tall enough but has to wait until novemeber when she is 10 to go - despite her challenges she retains optimism that she will be able to achive many things.

Swipe left for the next trending thread