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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be furious about friend being TWO hours late home when I am babysitting?

49 replies

dreamteamgirl · 11/04/2009 01:32

I am spitting right now

My DS is away for the night with his dad. My 'friend'/ neighbour asked if I could sit for her. She said from 8.30-11.30 so I agreed

It is now almost 1.30 and no sign of her, although she has finally replied to my text to say 'yes soon, I am tired'. Well so I am I!!!

I agreed to sit thinking her au pair was away and it was a previous arrangement and so I didnt mind helping out. Came over to find out it is her and her DH, double dating with the au pair and a friend of theirs. AND the 3 year old wasn't asleep, so I had to actually childmind and get her off to bed as well as sit in her house.

Its my one night off from DS for heavens sake (am single working parent)- I wanted to get an early night so I can tidy up before DS gets home, and now I am going to be exhausted.

So, AIBU to be furious about her doing this?

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 11/04/2009 01:39

YANBU if she said 11.30, she should be home at 11.30. It's rude and inconsiderate and I wouldn't be offering again in a hurry!!

Sleep in as late as you can tomorrow and don't worry about tidying up!!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/04/2009 01:52

My neighbour did this to my DS(18yo) and his GF - said she'd be home by midnight and rolled in at 3am. They were daft enough to sit for her again (all for free, btw!) and she did it again, so she's lost two babysitters for the future.

Clement · 11/04/2009 01:52

is she home yet? I think that's v U. sorry for you. Make sure she returns the favour.

ZacharyQuack · 11/04/2009 01:59

Well she now owes you at least 5 hours babysitting, including putting your DS to bed.

Original poster

dreamteamgirl · 11/04/2009 02:01

Thanks guys, apparently now in cab on way

Now just to decide if to have a whinge or just f* off to bed!!??

OP posts:

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 11/04/2009 02:02

Take all her wine and chocolate. This will stop her doing this again. Tis very rude.

iSOLOvechocolate · 11/04/2009 02:25

I would definitely say something, they are way out of order IMO.

ssd · 11/04/2009 03:52

I hope you saidsomehting, what a cow!

insertwittynicknameHERE · 11/04/2009 07:24

That is awful, how rude of her. I hope you said something. If it were me I would never babysit for her again.

KingCanuteIAm · 11/04/2009 07:29

I hope you didn't say anything. My line of attack would be simple. Leave when she gets back and say nothing (arguing with people who have been drinking is pointless). Go round the next day once you know she is up and about and tell her you were not happy, she said 11.30 and did not get in until 2/3 hours late so you will not be babysitting again be calm and firm, say what you have to say, then leave.

I am sure you will lose a friend but, hey, who wants friends like her?

alicet · 11/04/2009 07:35

YANBU this is totally rude and inconsiderate. I would certianly nto be babysitting again. But I probably wouldn't tell her this until she has returned the favour

I do however think you are mad to agree to babysit on a childfree night!!! I am not a single parent and if asked for anything other than a life or death emergency there is no way I would babysit on a night off from my boys! You are clearly a nicer person than me!

BiscuitStuffer · 11/04/2009 07:42

You are absolutely not being unreasonable and I agree with Kingcanute.

If you didn't say anything last night then you should calmly deliver your piece today. If you did say something, fill us in and we can all give our pennies worth on that too.

I think it was incredibly kind of you to babysit at all in the first place - a huge sacrifice and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. You are clearly a very lovely person who on this occasion certainly have put your friends needs well ahead of you own very important needs. They absolutely should have got a paid babysitter for last night rather than pulled on you for a favour. They were taking the piss and not acknowledging your needs at all. Very selfish of them.

georgimama · 11/04/2009 07:46

Poor OP is probably still in bed, knackered. Why do some people think they can just take the piss?

oxocube · 11/04/2009 07:48

very, very rude. And who on earth 'double dates' with their au pair ffs?

justaboutback · 11/04/2009 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kidowner · 11/04/2009 08:04

Are you able to borrow her Au Pair?

I think you must as you sound you need a break yourself, big time. It sounds as if you are a very kind person but this is going too far in what you can do for others.

I wouldn't say anything because she is your neighbour and friend even if they all did get carried away. But you must make a note of it.

Turn it to your advantage for another day.

Make sure you book her or her Au Pair regularly for yourself so that you get a break too.

If you don't you will be taken for a mug.

Meanwhile, accept her apologies (if there is one) and say, next time, please text if they are going to be later than they said.

What happened to you would make anyone in their right mind seethe.

But being gracious so that you can use their au pair in future for yourself is how I'd approach it. Even if it's for helping you with the housework etc.

Good luck!
Good luck!

BiscuitStuffer · 11/04/2009 08:08

I certainly wouldn't be saying 'next time, please text if they are going to be later than they said'. If you ever do it again, I would say that it is never an option to be later than the agreed time. Otherwise they will just text you and say they will be another 2 hours etc.

pavlovthepregnantcat · 11/04/2009 08:10

Rude. Very very disrespectful. YANBU, and you should tell her, absolutely.

If I tell our sitters I am home by 11:30pm - I am home by 11:30pm. Often a little earlier. If it is a free offer, I never arrange to be home later than 11:30pm. If it is paid, then usually midnight, depending on who is sitting, and I pay accordingly.

I once had a very late one and told my sitter I would be home at 1:30am and got home at 2am due to having to drop some people off (hen night 1.5 hours drive away), but my friend was sleeping over for the night and said it was not a problem if a bit late. I still worried the entire time home in case she was upset with me, and spoilt her with bacon sarnies the next morning!

lunamoon2 · 11/04/2009 13:03

Yanbu.

Don't babysit again!

Christ I worry if I am not in for 11.15pm and that is for grandparents!!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/04/2009 14:08

YANBU

what a cheeky neighbour!!!

if she wants to double date with her au pair then she arranges a paid babysitter and not to ask for a favor and then take the piss and come home nearly 3hrs later in the early hours

what did you say to her when they came in?

warthog · 11/04/2009 14:10

unbelievable. that really takes the cake. i would say something.

hatesponge · 11/04/2009 14:19

I think its incredibly mean...there are POSSIBLY certain circumstances where being 2 hours late back could be unavoidable, but this doesnt sound like one of them.

I rather suspect they intended to be out this late all along and didnt say that to the OP in case she refused (which I'm sure she would - who wants to be up to 2am minding someone else's child...I certainly wouldn't).

I know if it was me by the time they came back I would probably have been too tired to say my piece, much as I would have wanted to!

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/04/2009 14:26

if you are meant to be back at a certain time,ie 11.30 then depending where you are, you need to start heading home 11ish

so if at 11 you know you arent going to be home by 11.30 - you call and grovel

obv there is NOTHING you can do to make them not come home late - and if they arelate you can hardly go home and leave child alone!!

expatinscotland · 11/04/2009 14:31

Next time please text if you're going to be late?

For real!?

There wouldn't BE a next time after she pulled a stunt like that!

If she ever asked me to sit again, I wouldn't hesitate to say no. If she asks why, I'd tell her because I don't appreciate being taken advantage of.

iSOLOvechocolate · 12/04/2009 12:53

Where is OP? I want to know what was said etc...

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