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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be upset at people who say " you are unlucky to have girls"

99 replies

Ripeberry · 04/04/2009 18:35

Heard it twice this week and then they go on about how wonderfull boys are!
I just believe that you are given what you can cope with and hopefully my girls will be best friends with me when they are older.
For now i'm their mum and i'm very proud of them....so there!

OP posts:
choufleur · 04/04/2009 18:37

who would say that? - what a horrid thing to say to anyone. I've got one DS (so think boys are great) but girls are wonderful too.

ForeverOptimistic · 04/04/2009 18:38

Usually I hear the opposite, I can't believe the manners of some people.

Original poster
Ripeberry · 04/04/2009 18:41

One lady at pre-school (she has three boys) and the hairdresser today (granny) talking about her grandsons.
I thought it was such an old fashioned sentiment anyway, we are not in the dark ages where you NEED sons to farm the land and defend you .
Boys are great i admit but i think they are also quite fragile, maybe that's why mothers love them so much

OP posts:
Mooseheart · 04/04/2009 18:43

Sounds like a touch of jealousy to me, I mean why else would anyone say a thing like that to a mother of girls?

As a mother of two girls myself, this wouldbe water off a duck's back to me - but only because I so wanted at least two girls in the first place... I consider myself the luckiest woman alive to have two such beautiful daughters .

TheCrackFox · 04/04/2009 18:44

I have 2 boys and have lost count of the times I have heard, " a daughter is for life, a son until he finds a wife."

I actually have started to tell people to fuck off now. It is beyond rude. What would they like me to do? Pack my sons off to an orphanage and keep trying until we are lucky enough to have a girl?

Mumcentreplus · 04/04/2009 18:48

Ditto Moosey!

screamingabdab · 04/04/2009 18:49

Ripeberry. I have 2 sons and have heard the bad news about boys much more often.

It's all a crock of shite, people make far too many gender based assumptions. My are very different from each other (as I'm sure your girls are)

screamingabdab · 04/04/2009 18:51

That was meant to be "my sons".

I think that it was probably defensiveness talking from these women, as there is a lot of bad news about boys around.

blissa · 04/04/2009 18:53

My sister has 3 boys and once they were all stood in supermarket queue and an elderly lady looked at my nephews and said "You must be so disappointed"My sister replied with something like "Why? They are all healthy and happy".

She was so pissed off

TrillianEAstraEgg · 04/04/2009 18:56

Tell her that when your children all grow up and have their own babies you will be number 1 grandma, and she will be 'evil mother-in-law'.

Simplysally · 04/04/2009 18:58

I once heard a work colleague being congratulated on having a grandson by their son 'as now your surname will go on' (presumably her gs by her married daughter didn't count).

I think a lot of older people do think in that odd way.

screamingabdab · 04/04/2009 19:01

Simplysally I think you may be right - older people maybe over-value boys.

Moosy · 04/04/2009 19:04

I've got 2 girls and am expecting DC3, I hope it's another girl, the 2 I have are brilliant and beautiful, why wouldn't I want another?

(I'm actually a bit nervous that it might be a boy, they have willies and stuff. Eek!)

pinkcandyfloss · 04/04/2009 19:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

tinseltot · 04/04/2009 19:10

I had a strong preference for dc#3 to be a third dd and to my delight another little dd was what i got! We don't plan on having anymore dc. I have nothing against boys at all and am sure that they are lovely but i have discovered that i love, love, love having my gorgeous girls and also i just liked the dynamics of having 2 children of the same gender and really wanted it to continue once dc#3 was here. I would quite likely have wanted a third boy if dds 1 and 2 had both been boys. That said though i appreciate that some people might prefer a mix!

The odd rude person asks if i am dissapointed not to have had a boy and i just answer honestly, i.e. no, i am delighted with my girls. I think that the question says a lot about the asker, the issue is obviously on their mind, perhaps they are jealous or unhappy with whatever child gender combination they have themselves. I would never ask anyone whether they were unhappy with the child gender combination they have, we are all different and have diferent preferances.

steviesgirl · 04/04/2009 19:45

Unlucky to have girls? My one and only dc is a girl and I wouldn't swap her for the world! She is my angel. And I love clothes shopping for her and buying her girly stuff. More interesting than boys clothes and toys imo.

How can anyone who has a child, regardless of gender be unlucky? ALL children are a blessing. I can't believe the attitudes of some people.

In fact tbh, that's the biggest crock of shit I've heard that's come from someone's mouth for a long time.

mamas12 · 04/04/2009 19:47

It is an older generation thing but it's still hurtful,
When I had my dd first child the elderly statesman of the family said to my then h 'never mind my first three were girls'!!!

nickytwotimes · 04/04/2009 19:49

Yanbu.
I hatte gender generalisations.
Every individual is different.

choufleur · 04/04/2009 19:49

god i must have been a disappointment to my parents then simplysally. the family name has gone (i was the only offspring of the only boy).

HappyBump · 04/04/2009 19:56

I am one of five children - 4 girls and one boy. I got told all my life that I "should" have been twin boys (then there would have been 3 of each) . Boys were really made to be so important to carry on the family name etc. I was such a tom boy I would have loved to have been a boy ... that was ... until I reached puberty!

Anyway, it's funny now I have a DS who I think is fantastic but I really wouldn't care if my child was a boy or a girl. Wouldn't you just be happy either way?

Really, does it matter? Some people say the most stupid things try not to let them get you down/cross/etc.

Quattrocento · 04/04/2009 20:00

Strange sentiment

Strange to articulate said sentiment.

Stranger still for it to be said twice by two different people in the same week

Do you live somewhere terribly remote and rural or something?

pamelat · 04/04/2009 20:02

How strange.

I have a DD and would love another daughter, but it really doesnt matter in the end, does it?

My DH's nana is 95 and has said "you must have a boy one day" everyone politely laughed and she looked at me earnestly and said "promise you will try". I mean ... PRESSURE!!!

qwertpoiuy · 04/04/2009 20:03

A woman is allowed to keep her name on marriage, there's no law that states a baby must take his/her father's surname.

My work colleague is 50, she had 2 healthy daughters at 43 and 44, tried twice more for a son but miscarried so called it a day. Yet her DH's relations constantly harp on about how he would dearly love a son!

traceybath · 04/04/2009 20:05

Quite surprised you got those comments in my experience as a mother of 2 boys - its boys who are very under valued in today's society.

Anecdotally - far more people seem to want girls than boys.

Original poster
Ripeberry · 04/04/2009 20:06

Thanks for all your replies, i believe i'm lucky to have girls and when DD1 was born i knew she was a girl (never asked at the scans).
There are not many boys on my side of the familly or my DH's and each time before i got pregnant i had a miscarriage.
Maybe i just can't carry boy babies. But i would not change it for the world.

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