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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset at people who say " you are unlucky to have girls"

99 replies

Ripeberry · 04/04/2009 18:35

Heard it twice this week and then they go on about how wonderfull boys are!
I just believe that you are given what you can cope with and hopefully my girls will be best friends with me when they are older.
For now i'm their mum and i'm very proud of them....so there!

OP posts:

qwertpoiuy · 04/04/2009 20:12

My parents were the proud parents of 4 boys and myself. All I heard about was how wonderful it was the name would be kept, and there was pity at my Dad's brother beacause he had "only daughters"

Fast forward 30 years, my parents were diagnosed with cancer and needed help and home care. Their "wonderful" boys didn't go near them! I was the one that provided all the care (wouldn't really have wanted their help anyway, my poor parents only wanted me as they felt I was the only one who completely understood their feelings while they were going through this hell). My cousins, the girls who were "only daughters" were fantastic too.

Not saying all ds's are like that, but...

Frillysocks · 04/04/2009 20:18

Of course YANBU... but you know that already I'm sure! Its one of those AIBU threads where you are guaranteed nobody will disagee with you, so a bit pointless and self-gratifying, IMO.

Any child is wonderful no matter what gender it's just as bad to say you are "lucky" to have girls as it is for someone to say you are "unlucky" to have boys!

Why do you believe you are lucky to have girls, specifically?

ilovetochat · 04/04/2009 20:19

When we had our dd, dp's mom said never mind you can try for a boy next time.
she had 3 boys and has since said she always wanted a girl so i think it was a strange jealousy.

sweetkitty · 04/04/2009 20:23

I got this a lot having two DDs
"are you trying for a boy"
"maybe you cannot carry boys" said by a "friend" after I had a mc
"your poor DH"
"aww thats a shame" said when I said DB3 was a girl
"are you going to keep going until you get a boy"

I love having 3 girls, they are all different littl people and I don't give a toss what's between their legs

katedan · 04/04/2009 20:24

I think there is a real anti boy feeling in society now ans had a few " are you dissapointed" commets when DS was born 6 years ago wich really upset me as I was thrilled with my beautiful boy. having said that when I got PG again I secetly wanted girls (they were ID twins) and was over the moon to have my little princeses but i think all children are a blessing anyone who maks such silly commets to any mother is either tactless or jealous!!

Daffodingles2 · 04/04/2009 20:26

Did you see this thread Ripeberry?

ThumbelinaTrumple · 04/04/2009 20:40

I have got one of each , so what does that make me?
I was not bothered either way and i feel very blessed to have my beautiful kids. Some people just don't think!

chegirl · 04/04/2009 21:06

What a horrible thing to say. Why would anyone say that?

Its like someone coming up to you and your OH and saying 'God arnt you unlucky to have such an ugly husband?' Its mad

Totally uneccessary and mental

troutpout · 04/04/2009 21:15

I've heard stupid comments on both sides of this one. Anti-girl ones and anti-boy ones.
Both types of comments are ridiculous... because each gender is both wonderful and hard work in their own very different ways.
Jealousy usually...(usually made by people who have the opposite gender to whatever they are slagging off)

Original poster

Ripeberry · 04/04/2009 21:21

Daffodingles2, no i hadn't, thanks for the link. I think all of us should be gratefull that our children are healthy and happy and that we are doing our very best for them and all the rest can shut up.
Happy Easter by the way

OP posts:

drosophila · 04/04/2009 21:22

I have one of each and am PG with an unknown. I have no preference other than little girl clothes are very cute. I actually think there are fewer differences between the sexes than we think. Perhaps it's just my kids but neither seem overtly male or femaale. People have soem strong views don't they?

Shambolic · 04/04/2009 21:40

it's an older generation thing.

When I was born my dad rang to tell his parents.

My dad: "It's a girl"
My grand-dad: "Better luck next time"

Literally. No congrats or are they OK or anything.

He was born in 1903 though...

If anything, in the news etc at the moment there seems to be a very strong pro-girl bias - better exam results from girls, better behaviour from girls, and just the other day that thing about families with girls being healthier emotionally. They go on about how male teachers are needed in primary schools to sort the boys out etc etc.

It's such a shame - the press having it in for boys & teens. Even more of a shame when other people join in.

MrsTittleMouse · 04/04/2009 21:51

Not just the older generation. When we had DD2 we were asked by DH's work collegues whether we would have another baby to "try for the boy".

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 04/04/2009 21:57

yanbu
I have one of each
but i feel for my sil sometimes she has 3 boys and if my MIL says one more time that no 3 should have been a girl I will scream(and I am not even the mum) so I see where you are comming frmo

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 04/04/2009 21:58

I hear the opposite quitew often...as I have 3 boys...it's annoying....

When pg with ds 3 I was also asked all the time if we were trying for a girl this time...and once I found out the sex of Baby, people constantly commented on " How disappointed I must be"...

stupid people/simple minds springs to mind

Simplysally · 05/04/2009 01:07

Well my family name isn't likely to be carried either since my brother is unlikely to have children either. There's plenty of us in the phone book or on Facebook though . it's not going to be extinct just yet .

steviesgirl · 05/04/2009 01:34

Someone my dh knows in the farming community piped up after his 3rd dd was born: "It's another bloody heifer"!! Charming way to speak about your just born offspring!!

A heifer is a young cow for those who don't know.

jellybeans · 05/04/2009 07:08

Hi I have DSs and DDs and tend to find people more negative about boys. Especially the old chestnut 'sons a son till he finds a wife' which someone on this thread even said! I can see where you are coming from as I had 3 DD first. My DH was assumed to be desperate for a boy, he wasn't and didn't mind, but was over the moon when we had DSs.

I never really 'got boys' till I had my own but think that was as I had enjoyed my DDs so much I just saw myself with lots of DDs. I think also it's easy to only see the negatives of boys if you don't 'know boys'. After having a DS though I was besotted and they (I have 3 now) are every bit as fab as DDs. I also keep hearing of cases where adult daughters don't bother but sons do. In any case, as long as my kids are happy that's the main thing.

jellybeans · 05/04/2009 07:10

meant to say 'perceieved negatives of boys'.

sunshineandshowers · 05/04/2009 08:25

My SIL has three girls and CONSTANTLY says how she wanted girls, girls are better blah blah. I have a DS. Anyway it turns out that her parents always wanted boys and never got any. So...I think its her feeling rejected as a girl. Totally says more about the person saying it.

poshsinglemum · 05/04/2009 13:47

RUDE RUDE RUDE.

When I found out I was having a girl I was chuffed but a bit worried. I think that girls are percieved to be more vulnerable and therefore more of a worry in this world. I think that young men have just as much of a hard time as young girls though and gender generalistions are rubbish.

stillenacht · 05/04/2009 13:50

I always hear the opposite - "Ooo boys are so much work, so physical" "you'll have no one to talk to when they leave home" "boys never call you" "you have a friend for life in a daughter" "your daughter in law will despise you" (proof of pudding usually found on MN)...etc...etc..

poshsinglemum · 05/04/2009 13:51

More of a worry as a parent I mean. When dd is older I am going to worry about teenage pregnancy, anorexia, female cliques,a positive relationship with me
and getting treated like shit by men like I was. I am going to buy a granny stick with which to beat off potential suitors!
If I had a boy I would be worried about drugs, teenage male suicide and knife crime.A different set of worries with each gender.

stillenacht · 05/04/2009 13:52

jellybeans - i totally agree with you

poshsinglemum · 05/04/2009 13:53

BTW- this son's a son til he finds a wife business is rubbish. IME they are all mummies boys! Little boys are just a slovely as little girls.

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