to think that what the baby books tell you is evil?

[lowrib]

I'm a new mum. While feeding my 3mo DS he sometimes stops feeding, looks me in the eye and grins with delight. We beam at each other for a few minutes before he goes back to feeding. It is the loveliest thing ever.

But according to some books I've read I'm not meant to make eye contact at night feeds at all . So if I paid any attention to them, we'd either not experience this magic moment, or maybe I'd feel like I'd done something wrong.

Some of the baby books really leave me cold.
Is it just me or is a lot of the advice in them designed get in the way of instinct and the mother - baby bond (and the father-baby bond too) rather than reinforcing or encouraging natural instincts which IMO are most likely there for a reason? It all seems to about working against your instincts as a mother.

Am I being unduly cynical or is it true that a load of damaging rubbish being peddled to women at a time when they could actually do with some decent advice and support?

Okay - what's wrong with overtired?

I get overtired. It's not good. Makes me grumpy and I find it very hard to relax and sleep too - very frustrating when you know you need to and you want to be asleep. I don't suppose babies have the later problem, but I'm sure they have the former ones. But I do remember getting very cross with my mother for suggesting that one or other of the children was over tired when they clearly weren't - we probably were though!

thanks for the list lowrib. i may have to add to my collection

YANBU to think like that, but there are many reasons why you do feel like it and so much depends on priorities about how we parent.
With dd1 my priority was to get her sleeping at night by 6mths so I would cope when I returned to work. BF was something I wanted to do but wasn't a priority. To that end I chose GF which worked perfectly for my needs and dd1 slept 7-7 from 12wks old. (when we started at 6wks she was feeding all day and all night, or should I say sucking?)
DD2 now 12mths wasn't GF'd and didn't sleep until 9mths. I wasn't returning to work and BF was my priority and I saught advice about feeding lying down to avoid exhaustion. Interestingly we did GF routines from 7mths and again 6wks later she was sleeping.
What I am clumsily trying to say is that priorities change, its horses for courses and FWIW I have a great bond with both dds.
I may have avoided eye contact during night feeds but they had lots of attention/reading to/singing to all day every day.
DD1 and 2 interestingly both had the same amount of vocab by 1 (about 7 words)

OP, Yes chuck the book in the bin. Then go and get yourself a nice hard backed note book with lined pages in it and write down the date, the childs name and exactly what happened so you won't forget. Because as impossible as it seems, you will.

I have a book containing the funniest comments my children have come out with, and lovely moments and incidents, unfortunatley I didn't start the book on the day they were born and there is so much I have forgotten or now am confused as to which child it was.

I also have a box for each child to keep bits of memorabilia in. Maybe i'm just a sad case who knows!!

Oh!! The Farex in the bottle!!!

My Aunt informed me at a large family gathering once "You should definatley be giving your 2 mnth old dd Farex at bedtime, I did it with all of mine and it never did them any harm".

"Really" says I in a loud voice,"and yet all of your children are gluten intolerant aren't they? and all had really bad eczema and food allergies didn't they?.... Oh well maybe I won't try that then".

Que one of her daughters to exclaim "Mum I can't believe you did that to us"!

ok so it was an evil thing to say to her, but at least she won't be spouting that one off again any time soon!

I don't think its sad to have memorabelia in a box. I kept first things, christening stuff and have just ordered ceramic handprint tiles to add to the -clutter- collection