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Original poster

My neighbours always using my garden...

188 replies

PrammyMammy · 03/04/2009 18:11

I have been thinking about posting this for a while, but todays events have made me need to ask.
I live in a 4 in a block type flat, upstairs. The couple downstairs from me are in their 60's. They have a huge black lab and three grand daughters that visit every day. I'd say they were about 13, 6 and 4, but that is just a guess.
We have seperate fenced off back gardens. Theirs is lovely, with flowers and lots of garden gnomes and a water feature. There is no grass in their garden, it is all slabs and pebbles.
My garden is all grass with a small path that sits behind my clothes poles, behind the path i have a small fence and my sons toys are up the back, we have a swing, house, a few ride ons and a trampoline, i also have a table and chairs set.
Every day their gc are in my garden, on ds toys, climbing on the table and just driving me crazy, because they are shut out of their own garden.
No one ever asked me if the could use my garden it just happens.
The past few days, my chairs have been moved into their garden, for them to use while sun bathing, and today i took ds outside to play to find the three children on his things.
I put him in his swing while the younges started crying saying it was her swing and she wanted in it.
I just took ds out and back in the house.
I am just angry because it is a lovely day and i just want to be able to sit in my garden while ds plays.
I looked out my window to see the middle and oldest girl running through my bath towels that are hanging out. They are clean and out to dry, why would that be okay to do?
Gah, i do feel selfish, but what can i say to my neighbours to let them know that this is not acceptable without sounding like a bitch?

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 03/04/2009 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Wezz · 03/04/2009 19:52

The farking nerve of some people

I wouldn't worry about sounding like a bitch

they have absolutely no right to be in your garden and using your stuff

just tell them to get out next time they're in and not to come back in....EVER

or send your kids in to dig up all their flowers

biscuitchucker · 03/04/2009 20:02

go pick their flowers.
all of them.

screamingabdab · 03/04/2009 20:18

If Eve's Death Stare doesn't work out, there's always phase 2 : the Vulcan Death Grip

lou222 · 03/04/2009 20:23

i want to come round there and tell them myself i'm so bloody mad for you!
you are definitely a nicer/more patient/wussier person than me
if you can't say anything then your husband must!
and we want a full report back as to what happens!

screamingabdab · 03/04/2009 20:24

Yes, let us know.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 03/04/2009 20:33

I'll keep you all updated :D The daughters car is away now, so they are away for the night, phew.

OP posts:
Gentle · 03/04/2009 20:35

Howzabout taking your DS into their garden for a very loud (supervised) splash about in their water feature? See what their response to that is. If it's "Don't you know these gardens are private property?" then, bingo!

Also, is it possible that they don't know to whom the swings etc belong? Probably not, but since you seem to avoid them..?

Gentle · 03/04/2009 20:39

Sorry, have read a bit more thoroughly now and noticed that they are well aware whose garden it is. Yeah, confront them about it (still think a splash in the water feature wouldn't go amiss though!)

Oh and for the shotgun idea to work, you really need a banjo player!

willowthewispa · 03/04/2009 20:45

Why didn't you just tell the children to go back to their own garden?

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 03/04/2009 20:56

They can't get into their garden, it is locked. I felt guilty telling the kids off because i don't think it is their faults, their mum and gps are in the house with the door closed and they are left outside playing. But i will have words with the adults tomorrow.

OP posts:
willowthewispa · 03/04/2009 20:59

If it was me, I wouldn't mind them playing out there while I wasn't using it (but I'd tell them off if they moved things or touched the washing) and then when I wanted to go out I'd just say "right girls, time to go home" and usher them out.

Ripeberry · 03/04/2009 20:59

Are they a rough familly who would get all nasty? My sister in law lives in a flat similar to yours, the first half is for the neighbour downstairs but she is elderly and does not bother with it and the second half is my sister in law's and is like a mini zoo with an aviary, rabbit runs and ducks!
I think you should get yourself a bigger fence and a gate with a padlock!

caramelwaffle · 03/04/2009 21:00

Some trellis.

Some climbing plants.

A padlock for the gate.

A sprinkler system turned on at appropriate moments

A death ray stare.

Pronto!!!!

caramelwaffle · 03/04/2009 21:03

If you are happy to have them in during the summertime - they must learn to be polite, and knock.

Ripeberry · 03/04/2009 21:06

Sounds like its the grandparents thinking, well we don't want the grandkids destroying OUR garden lets use the neighbours
A visit to B&Q over the weekend is in order

sobanoodle · 03/04/2009 21:08

Prammy what do you think the price difference is between a flat with a garden and one without, in the same area ? Probably quite a bit, regardless of where you live.

I'd not be shy about standing up for myself. Your neighbours are taking you for an almighty ride and you need to tell it to them straight. Their family, their garden, your family, your garden. Simple and very clear.

Please update us

onadietcokebreak · 03/04/2009 21:12

Agree with what Dandylioness has said.

And don't worry you are pregnant and can get away with being "hormonal" if you end up losing it with them!

2rebecca · 03/04/2009 21:33

I would knock on the neighbours' door and ask them to ask their children and granchildren not to play in your garden as you don't like always having to move things and they have their own garden. You could ask that it is made clear to the grandchildren which area they can play in as you don't want to have to put up a gate and high fence, but would like your garden kept private. You could add that you don't let your kids wander round their garden moving the gnomes about.
My neighbours have young grandchildren and could wander onto my garden, but the parents and grandparents are sensible and ensure the kids stay in the right garden.

2rebecca · 03/04/2009 21:42

I can't believe you didn't chase the kids when they started creating when you wanted to put your kid in the swing. I would have become really stroppy at this and said "right, you lot, out now. This is my garden, please keep out of it". I would never have brought my kids in because someone else's kids were playing in my garden.
The neighbours may get a bit upset, but they should never have let the kids play there without checking with you first.
A friend of mine had a similar problem when she bought a house. The old woman there before had been happy (or not bothered) to let next doors kids play in her garden. My friend wasn't. After a couple of afternoons of quiet reading in the garden interrupted by boisterous kids climbing over the fence and running around she asked the neighbour to tell the kids to keep out. She also bought a higher fence. She still gets on with the neighbours. Sometimes being clear about what is and isn't OK is better than resenting things but not saying anything.

Shitemum · 03/04/2009 21:44

If they have a lock on their garden then they can't say anything if you put one on yours...

2rebecca · 03/04/2009 21:52

That may be less hassle in some ways.

DandyLioness · 03/04/2009 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

frisbyrat · 03/04/2009 22:16

Next time they come into your garden, rush out carrying a huuuuge saucepan and cackle, "Mmmmmmm, tasty tender little children!"
Mwah-hah-hah!

NutterlyUts · 03/04/2009 22:24

Buy a big dog

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