to not allow my child to do a reading in church?

[GooseyLoosey]

Dh and I are atheists. The dcs attend the local school which is C of E (although wholly state funded). There are no alternative non-C of E schools locally.

The school tends towards being very religious and there is a special Easter service in church for the school this week. Ds (5) has been given a reading to do at this service. It includes many "Praise God" and "God is good" type statements.

I don't wish to over react but getting ds to actively participate in an act of worship may be a step too far for me. AIBU to object and to consider telling them to get someone else to do this?

'Why can't you teach DC your principles and values without involving belief in a higher power?'

I think I owuld find that dishonest, TBH. As if I were keeping an important part of myself from them.

I agree with JA that giving a child little basis before they hit a crisis is a bad idea, as that's how Cults opertae. that doesn't mean modellingb your own little mini-me at all, but allowing them to form some idea of what they believe and develop that I think. A friend had a year from Hell- her son and brother committed suicide within a twelvemonth- and I have to say it scared me how fast one religious group descended on her afterwards . Protecting y boys from that is important, esp. as asd kids can be vulnerable. If they ave some sense of what they belive they have a framewor to seek out likeminded types if they choose to.

Aren't we all brainwashing our kids?

If you have a preference for how they dress and stock their wardrobes accordingly, if you teach them how to deal with bullies (your way), if you decide to tell them about fairies and elves, if you teach them manners, etc. We all bring up our children, to the best of our abilities, with our own ideals in mind.

We say that when they are older they are free to decide the kind of person they want to be, but in reality we want to keep them the kind of person we want them to be.

It's all brainwashing to some extent or another.

CoteDAzur - I like your descrption of your "beleif" system. It is probably quite close to my own - only I don't like the term "agnostic" as it seems too much like sitting on the fence. But then, I don't like the term "atheist" as it sees too dogmatic

If really pushed I would say I have a belief in the power of good and a sort of entropy teowards balance. I'm even coming round to the idea of the Gaia principle, where if the humans don't get their act together, then the earth as a living biosystme will just "shrug" us off as dangerous or even irrelevant.

I even have half a belief that we are probably not alone in this universe. That the (nicer) Science Fiction stories are true and "we are not alone".

But we just don't know, so we go on living life as best we can

But this is way beyond the scope of the OP!

Oh, this is just for cote athiests

athiests
athiests
athiests
athiest's
athiests'

Might it not be correct here to ask the question.... "Is the school being unreasonable to expect....?"

Seems to me that any school which is sensitive to the reasonable wishes of parents with respect to how their children are brought up would seek to avoid any confrontation of this nature. It is entirely unnecessary to place anyone in such a situation, surely someone else in the class could have been chosen for this particular individual task?

Our family has quite specific experience of this sort of question with our school (many faiths not just one!) and in such an instance they would almost certainly look for a child who does profess a faith to be given such a "Starring role", thus making one set of parents very proud and avoiding confrontation with another.

Seems like common sense to me.

Well bloody said!

prettybird - I don't have a belief system, and "beleif" is not my typo.

Lack of belief describes it better. I don't believe in anything I don't know to be true, through experience or tangible proof.

Cote, my attitude exactly. Hence the lack of belief in ghosts and fairies. I am open to the remote possibility of them existing, but unless one flies in at the window I cannot put my faith in them.

I do however, have that belief in God.

athiest

Rhubarb - So all these years you have been posting about "athiests", were you doing it on purpose?

No?

Well, why then? To annoy atheists?

That's what I meant I just wasn't being very articulate. If you see one of my ealrier posts, you'll see that I am unconfortable with the term "atheist" as that suggest that there is something for not to beleive in. But I am also uncomfortable with the term "agnostic", although it is porbably a more accurate despition of where I stand.

You have obiously read more around the topic than I ever have, which I admire.

It was just never high on my list of priorities!

And my typing is carp! I do know how to spell "belief"

No Cote, I'm not that bad! It was an honest misspelling, however embarrasing that may be!

oops. crap.

"I'd rather say 'X is what I think, and this is why we do that, but you don't have to think that way if you don't want to.'"

Like, a three year old would ever not want to do something his parents do.

I'll happily say though that I am brainwashing my children to have decent musical taste. Therefore High School Musical is banned in favour of Nirvana and The Clash.

prettybird

Nirvana "decent music"

Oh oh oh! It so is! Why, who do you like, Spandau Ballet?

At the very least, play a bit of Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, to clean that monotone drivel off your DC's ears.

Or how about Radiohead, if you are not into the classics? The Heads (ex Talking Heads) put out an album called "No Talking Just Head" you should listen to. I think you might like it.

Nirvana is all about "Ohh, I haven't washed in a month, and been shooting up heroin for so long my mind has rotted" etc etc. All on a single note. More boring music I struggle to find.

I'll bet you've sold your kids that drivel haven't you? I'll have you know that some Radiohead is fine, but in this house we like punk and Nirvana happens to be dd's most favourite (was soo tempted to put favouritist then! ) band so there!

She also likes the Sex Pistols.

No heavy metal big perms for us thanks very much! And what is it with the girly make-up and tight trousers? They look like transvestites!

morethanjustadad - you are absolutely correct.

nomoreamover - I don't think I am confusing my children - they are quite clear that there is a difference between what mummy and daddy believe and what the people at school do and that they are free to choose between the two. Possibly because of the way relgion has been articulated to him at school, he thinks it is a bunch of silly stories (he doesn't believe in Santa either). I do however accept that you were not intending to criticise my parenting and that I am a tad sensitive about such things.

I also get what you say about "all or nothing" in terms of religious participation at school. I was fully reconciled to going down the "all" route but (to me), what ds is being asked to do goes beyond participating in a group act of worship and (as someone said below) requires him to lead others in it and make individual statements. I am not reconciled to this and don't think it is what I signed up to.