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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Have a Secret Crush on UnQuietDad?

547 replies

secretcrush · 26/03/2009 17:43

Cant help it
The thought that there are intelligent, funny, non-sleazy men out there who have masses in common with me....

It just gives me hope

And he's a regular poster on MN too.

OP posts:
2shoes · 27/03/2009 22:53

what ever happened to singledadofthree?

ruty · 27/03/2009 23:13

you have taken this thread in very good spirit UQD. I want to know who secretcrush is. Maybe it is Xenia.

DadInsteadofMum · 28/03/2009 00:21

Just to clarify I am not the OP.

And that is a fact not an opinion.

Don't normally come into AIBU as it is far too scary a place but somebody told me I had been name checked.

I'll get my coat and be off now.

Original poster
secretcrush · 28/03/2009 08:39

Blimey, I go away and the thread doubles!!!
Glad you took my OP in the spirit it was intended UQD,
I don't know you, I've never googled you, I have no interest in an affair of any sort, truth is have been treated so appallingly by my ex (realisations pile on daily) that I have completely lost faith in relationships.
MN is a place to feel safe and my OP hopefully represents the return of a sense of humour.

I am not outing myself, sorry

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 28/03/2009 08:55

Blimey daftpunk, I'm a bit speechless at that really!

It's a shame there is such a mistrust between women and men still. As far as I'm concerned, men make up Mumsnet as much as anyone here. I've been on Mumsnet for years now and there's always been blokes on it.

I get on like a house on fire with DaddyCool who pops in occasionally. I even have his fb and email address and sought his advice recently when we were contemplating moving to Canada. However that doesn't mean I'm having an affair with him!

dh trusts me and I trust him. If your dh doesn't like the idea of you talking to men on Mumsnet then he has issues.

EachPeachPearMum · 28/03/2009 08:56

I like (not in a fancying way, just like) UQD because he has interesting opinions and can argue coherently, and is frequently very funny.

In my head he is Bill Bryson.... must be the being a writer and living in yorkshire thing.... sorry UQD please don't be offended... I love Billy B, and I like beards too! I always read your posts with his voice in my head though.

daftpunk · 28/03/2009 08:57

i don't know if you're married UQD...but i would have thought if you were, you would have taken up MNHQ very sensible offer of having this thread deleted....you say you find it "funny"...i suspect you are basking in all the attention..how shallow....have you shown this thread to your wife?

Rhubarb · 28/03/2009 08:59

It's seem laughable too that some women worry that these faceless men might just force them to take their knickers off!

Like there's some kind of hypnotic gas that seeps out of the keyboard whenever a man is present.

Rhubarb · 28/03/2009 09:00

Oh daftpunk! I like you, but you are being unreasonable now.

I just showed this thread to my dh and he tutted at us all. Commented about how little trust there is in relationships.

QuintessentialShadow · 28/03/2009 09:02

"It's seem laughable too that some women worry that these faceless men might just force them to take their knickers off!"

It does seem laughable, but
If you have a crush, you just might.....

Personally, I think, it is time to step aside from forums, take a reality check and rejoin Real Life, if you discover you have an actual crush on a faceless stranger....

daftpunk · 28/03/2009 09:05

Rhubarb..i really like you too..but you under estimate the power of the internet..people can get inside your head

ingles2 · 28/03/2009 10:10

daftpunk I don't "know" you , but I think it's a real shame you feel like that.
It's not about the power of the internet, it has no power, it's just a computer screen.
The power lies with you. if you are susceptible/ vunerable to scams/con/affairs/ whatever, it will and can happen anywhere, internet or RL.
People get inside your head because you let them, they're not forcing their way in there.
A relationship is about trust, it would never cross my mind or dh's that it is a problem talking to man, on an open, group, forum. Why should it? I'm not open to an affair.
I am open minded though and am happy to take on board the opinions of both men and women.

Original poster
secretcrush · 28/03/2009 10:14

No no no...
There is nothing "actual" about crushes. Well not this one anyway!
Quint I take your point about Real Life, but crushes are nothing to do with the crush and all about the person having it. I was out all day yesterday which was lovely.
UQD just represents the sort of person I think I could get on with, rather than my git of an ex.
Like I said, gives me hope.
Sadly the only person inside my head at the moment is my unspeakable ex, hence the need to escape with a silly crush.

OP posts:
HolyGuacamole · 28/03/2009 10:21

Agree ingles2

My DH knows there are men on here (in fact he agrees with their opinions a lot if I'm telling him about stuff on here) and he wouldn't even think to bat an eyelid. My DH goes on forums to do with his hobby and there are probably women on there, I don't see the big deal and don't even think about it TBH.

I think it's a shame daftpunk that you feel like that because if for example I wanted to have an affair (which I don't), I wouldn't be hanging around MN, I'd go somewhere else where there are like minded people.

mumoftoby · 28/03/2009 10:27

If my DH did have a thread like this about him he and I would really laugh - shallow or not!

niceone1 · 28/03/2009 10:28

Actually Daftpunk I think I'm starting to get a crush on you now. I really hope that doesn't bother you or anything.

daftpunk · 28/03/2009 10:53

i'm very selfish, moody, & demanding...i sulk alot and i'm alway's right..even when i know i'm wrong...i would make your life a misery...

UnquietDad · 28/03/2009 12:12

Daftpunk - get over it!

Also, people, I have no beard!

newgirl · 28/03/2009 12:23

shall we leave uqd with that as the final word

QuintessentialShadow · 28/03/2009 18:02

Well secretcrush, all is well and good as long as it gives you hope that good guys exist, rather than prevent you from seeking happyness in life.

Gunnerbean · 28/03/2009 18:16

DaftPunk said:

"errr, so he doesn't mind you talking to some faceless man...just to get a male perspective?..he must be very easy going."

My DH doesn't mind me talking to 100s of faceless women so why would he care about me talking to one, or more, faceless man/men? Why should the gender of the faceless individuals matter?

I certainly wouldn't fancy being in a relationship with a man who did have a problem with something like that and I certainly don't think it makes anyone's partner "easy-going" if they don't mind it either - it just means they're normal instead of being suspicious and untrusting.

Strange

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/03/2009 18:25

I love you all

It matters not one jot to me what gender or sexual persuasion you are.

What matters is the quality of debate and contribution.

QuintessentialShadow · 28/03/2009 18:39

My dh has concluded that mumsnet is possibly better than tv. So, he for sure does not mind that I am here, with faceless men and women.

ABetaDad · 28/03/2009 19:03

Gunnerbean/daftpunk - I asked my wife if she minded me talking to loads of women on MN and she said she had no problem with it and she has suggested one or two threads she would like me to post.

To be honest, as a man it is difficult to go to mums coffee mornings and stuff. I would be alone as a man and I think everyone would be just a bit uncomfortable so this is better for me to talk about parent stuff. My wife does go to actual mums coffe mornings and stuff and knows all the mums at the school gate - which I don't.

Quint - it is better than TV. I sit in the evening clicking away on my laptop next to my wife chatting and reading stuff out to her while she reads the paper and we have a naff music video show on like TMF such 'Best 80s girl bands you love to hate'.

CKelpie · 28/03/2009 19:12

My Goodness Daftpunk, I am cringing for you.

I enjoy reading everyone's posts on MN, gender shouldn't be relevant really.

I think that this is basically a parenting site and as men make up 50% of the parents their contribution is essential.

I hope secretcrush's faith in relationships is restored soon and she and UnquietDad discover something special. I feel a fascinator hat buying afternoon coming on.