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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to object to the slight but all persuavive attitute on mumsnet recently

109 replies

ScumdogSquillionaire · 26/03/2009 13:18

I have noticed these last few months there seems to be an attitute on mumsnet of

"if I can't have it I don't want anyone else to have it either"

OP posts:
sarah293 · 26/03/2009 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ScumdogSquillionaire · 26/03/2009 13:22

Riven, it's not any one thing, it's loads of things like the EMA thread and the current PTA thread. I'm not attacking anyone in particular because I think they raise valid points I'm just a bit sad that some people really and truly want to deprive other people of things, just because they don't have them.

OP posts:
traceybath · 26/03/2009 13:24

I think one just has to exercise a little tact - its not good form to brag/boast in RL and equally it just looks a bit wanky on here.

Especially when lots of people are having a very hard time.

Of course it does get taken to extremes where only on mumsnet are you considered to be a bad parent if you give your children more than a satsuma and a lump of coal for christmas

BitOfFun · 26/03/2009 13:24

I demand that you donate your squillions to a scumdog charity, OP - if I'm skint I don't see why you should get away with swanning around here lording it over the rest of us...

That kind of thing?

cory · 26/03/2009 13:27

I think there is a general assumption that if you say you would like things to be fairer for the poorer classes, it is immediately assumed that you are speaking on your own behalf. This is not necessarily so.

I often make the point on here that life is very difficult for people on benefits, for people on low wages, for people in deprived areas with no access to transport. This does not mean I myself am in this situation. I know perfectly well I get a better deal than I deserve compared to lots of other people.

And I don't buy into that whole "if I have a more comfortable life that must mean I deserve more". I can't see anything about myself that makes me more deserving than millions of other people. I've had a pleasant life, I don't see what's so deserving about that.

EachPeachPearMum · 26/03/2009 13:28

In what way are they persuasive?

Original poster
ScumdogSquillionaire · 26/03/2009 13:28

Yes that sort of thing.

I mean, don't get me wrong, when I see other people with more than me, a part of me does want what they have. However, I never ever feel the need to demand that they don't have it.

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 26/03/2009 13:29

I can't say I've really noticed it, at least not any more than it's always been.

Original poster
ScumdogSquillionaire · 26/03/2009 13:29

I mean pervasive not persuasive.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 26/03/2009 13:29

Not noticed it really.

FAQinglovely · 26/03/2009 13:31

agree with what Cory says, I'm the opposite (sort of). I'm a single mum on benefits, but the other day I was told that I "should live on benefits with young children before making comments that I was making"

...................ermm sorry love I already am

hullygully · 26/03/2009 13:31

I was wondering about whether it might be a good idea to have another group, a kind of moldies, I know it's a bit controversial, for the slightly better off where we don't have to keep worrying about saying the wrong thing and being insensitive and can discuss our issues without being jumped on.

Original poster
ScumdogSquillionaire · 26/03/2009 13:32

It just depressing me. Maybe I'm feeling low today anyway I dunno.

Even my lone parent sister once said to me "how come I can't get a bloke. You've got one and you're fat, if anyone deserves a nice fella it's me"

OP posts:
Gorionine · 26/03/2009 13:32

A lump of coal? Nah1 satsuma definitely enough!

I agree with scumdogSquillionaire, It is "normal" to want more sometimes (dream of bigger house, more holidays etc...) but that does not mean you should wish other people to have less because you do.

Lizzylou · 26/03/2009 13:34

Lol Hully
Would we need to show our bank statements before joining?
Thats me still on MN then

I don't think it's any different from any other time on MN tbh, maybe more people are feeling the pinch in these times is all?

BitOfFun · 26/03/2009 13:34

That would go down really well, hullygully, are you going to start a thread?

diedandgonetodevon · 26/03/2009 13:34

I haven't noticed it being any worse than usual recently. There will always be some with attitudes like that but I wouldn't say that there was a lot of it around.

pagwatch · 26/03/2009 13:35

I think that mumsnet just tends to reflect back at you how you are feeling and you pick up on things you are sensitive about.

There does tend to be a wave effect where you get a sudden glut of OPs on particular issues . But I think mumsnet tends to remain pretty random which is its beauty.

I posted two seperate threads where I mentioned my posh designer shoes. On one no one had an issue , on another I got lectured a bit. but that just reflects who was on line and the same thing happened when I posted about special needs or about SAHMs.
I think mumsnet is in the eye of the beholder.

hullygully · 26/03/2009 13:35

I think I might. There is no sin in wealth after all, why can't we be allowed to enjoy it?

wasabipeanut · 26/03/2009 13:36

Erm, I predict a riot.

I would say that it isn't much different lately to how it always has been.

Hully - are you actually suggesting a sort of private MN where the wealthy can discuss their issues????

BitOfFun · 26/03/2009 13:37

wasabi - I'm kind of presuming she's joking

pagwatch · 26/03/2009 13:38

ROFL at hully.

it could have a password - like 'Versace'. And Liz Hurley could be the patron.
Style and beauty would have to be divided into seasons. And travel would have to be "Where shall we summer?". Bar could change to 'cocktails.

I think it is a go-er

smallorange · 26/03/2009 13:38

I haven't noticed anything different.

Is Hully trying to wind us up?

Curiousmama · 26/03/2009 13:39

you could call it Bodenetters hullygully

hullygully · 26/03/2009 13:39

Well, seriously, why not? Let's be honest, we live in a capitalist society and there is inequality, I'm not saying let's carry on like Fred Goodwin, but I really don't see why we should be ashamed of being better off and have to hide it. Money brings its own problems that are just as valid.