AIBU to expect a child on a playdate to sit properly at the tea table and not piss about !

[CaptainUnderpants]

I have had two children over in the last week on both occasions we have sat at the table to have tea as we would normally do as a family.

Both children have just mucked about at the table , not sat properly , up and down played about in general. Each has been a separate playdate so both children not there at same time .

Now AIBU to expect children to behave properly at the table ( mine do at home , dont know what they are like at other peoples house though ) or should I grin and bare it and put up with behaviour that really annoys me.

The problem is that my kids then start mucking about even though I have asked nicely ( through gritted teeth) for everyone to sit nicely and ' we dont do that at our house ' routine .

Children are 8 & 6.

Yanbu.

yabu

tbh i would expect children of that age to sit nicely.

I know for a fact that mine are much better behaved at other people's houses, so with that in mind, I would expect other kids to be well behaved at mine. (did that make sense, ? )

Were they very excited?

I find if teh children have a few bowls of this and that to choose from on the table, they are always interested enough to sit, choose, eat, pass, drink and go.

Perhaps they were just over excited and thought I wonder if I can get away with this as it's not my house.

....Or they were little b!gg*r$.

They are probably excited. Is it really worth caring about?

Children get mor excited when they are at other people's houses. You said it yourself you dont know how yours behave when they are at someone else's house. I know mine show their worst behave

YANBU. At 8 and 6 children should know to sit at the table. Surely, even if they don;t do it at home, they are used to it from school. We have ground rules - no getting up from table during meals in one of these - and expect visiting children to follow them. Not sure what you mean by "not sat properly" though.

Luckily have only had one child not behave properly at meal time on a play date so far. DD is 6y.

This pisses me off to. I have one kid for tea and she does my head in. Sliding off her chair, up and down jumping about, sliding and scraping her chair around the tiles. sets my teeth on edge.

I blame the parents. Mine aren't perfect at the table but they know its rude to get up half was through and dance/prat about. They also ask before they can leave the table, thats a rarity in most kids that come for tea I tell thee.

YABU.People have different rules at home, you cant expect everyones children to behave the same as yours if they havent been brought up that way. My son is a fussy eater so I have concentrated more on making meal times relaxed and enjoyable.

I would feed the children separately, some would find it very intimidating to have to sit formally with a family they did not know well, more fun to just eat together.

playdates were only invented to make you realise your children aren't as bad as you thought they were.

playdates were invented by overly fussy mothers

YANBU - did they behave when asked to sit nicely at the table?

i don't even feed them

Gosh do you really get pissed off by 6 years old? Especially when they are friends of your DCs?

Yes it does piss me off, especially when I have PMT. But I seethe inwardly. Am good at it. The kids are lovely in other aspects.

It doesn't matter what the rules are in their own homes IMO.

these days most chldren eat at school, either packed lunch r school dinners. IME primary schools are very insistent on sensible and appropriate behaviour when childrn are eating. It is definitely not the norm IME for chldren in school to be allowed to get up and down from the table whilst eating, etc. Therefore IMO pretty much all children know how to behave at the table - so no excuse.

Well, when reading I was thinking that you were expecting a bit much. Then realised the ages and think YANBU. Bit much to expect for me, but DS is only 3!

You sound a bit stressed imo. To have gritted teeth during the meal and then post on here about it describing yourself as feeling p*ssed off.

Yes, it's a mild irritation. I would do as others have suggested, i.e. feed the children separately.

Or have playdates at non meal times (e.g. couple of hours during the holidays). If it really stresses you that much then don't bother.

YABU. Yours muck about when they go to someone else's house

I'd expect (and have found) that most kids behave better at others' houses than at home.
I think it is unacceptable for them to muck about at dinner.

Perhaps they aren't used to sitting at a table with adults?

I only have a kids table and DD and I do sit together at it, but when she has a friend over they sit together and I busy myself in the kitchen. They seem fine then. I find if I'm in the room with them, friend is very reluctant to eat and wants to get down from the (kids) table.

Perhaps it's the presence of adults that unnerves them?

I don't think the OP said she was pissed off. It was me that said that.