AIBU to expect a child on a playdate to sit properly at the tea table and not piss about !

[CaptainUnderpants]

I have had two children over in the last week on both occasions we have sat at the table to have tea as we would normally do as a family.

Both children have just mucked about at the table , not sat properly , up and down played about in general. Each has been a separate playdate so both children not there at same time .

Now AIBU to expect children to behave properly at the table ( mine do at home , dont know what they are like at other peoples house though ) or should I grin and bare it and put up with behaviour that really annoys me.

The problem is that my kids then start mucking about even though I have asked nicely ( through gritted teeth) for everyone to sit nicely and ' we dont do that at our house ' routine .

Children are 8 & 6.

yabu they are kids its what they do

they were probably excited

mine are that age and tend to hop up and down when excited

YANBU. Mine are 4 and 2 and are pretty good at sitting up at the table and eating.

They regularly go to my friend's house. She has 2 children the same ages as mine. Likewise, her children regulary come to mine.

Sometimes the 2yo girls will get down from the table and run away but usually after they have eaten as much of their main course as they are going to.

The 4yo boys sit up and eat properly. If they start to mess around at all I tell them off and they behave.

My friends little boy comes over for tea sometimes nad they havent got s table at their house so he finds it strange. He sits on his knees and messes about. No table etticate, ha ha I cant even spell it. They are just kids and probably over excited.

LOts of kids play up at other [peoples houses - they are just giddy.

Unless they are little B*ggers

I dont think its right to say these children shouldnt be invited back. My dd has a food phobia and various other problems she does sit at the table but is never pressurised to stay there until everyone is finished as she is often afraid of seeing the food and we have to make meal times as relaxed as possible - of course you might just prefer for her to sit and barf all over the table! Remember each child is different

YANBU - your house, your rules. If you get lax then your DC's will think they can behave like that in other people's homes or indeed your house! Good old fashioned manners are on the way out I fear, such a shame.

I have had numerous playdates as you describe, plus kids saying "don't eat veg" or "don't like that" In my day, you ate what was put in front of you and didn't dare get cheeky!

FFS - don't invite them back? Leave your impeccably behaved DC without friends 'cause your annoyed by a 6 and an 8 year old. YABU

it's annoying but normal imo
yanbu to be pissed off - but i think yabu to expect them not to do it!

YANBU - when I was younger I would behave myself when a guest, regardless of how I behaved at home - common manners surely??!

I once bent down to clean the floor after a playdate and said playdate child sat on my back and farted (there's an outraged post from me on here somewhere about it....was years ago!). I've never quite forgotten that. Give me hopping up and down over that every day

fox - that is gross!!!

Farted on your back!?!?!? OMG I'd have collapsed .............. laughing. Children are shameless

"oh, you don't want dinner / pudding then? alright - I'll put it away..."

ALWAYS works IME!!! Especially at that age.

I've had one boy on a play date who thought it was funny to pelt me with nuggets.

Though have to admit my DD has terrible manners at our house when she has a friend over. She starts showing off and often stands on the chair, bares her bum and farts. Then her friends start joining in and it goes downhill.

I dread to think what she's like at other peoples' houses. My mate swears she's well behaved. But one girl we had over informed me that her parents thought my DD had the worst table manners ever.

I didn't really care as I happen to think this girl's mum is the most stupid, bimbo wannabe WAG on the planet. She drives a 4x4, parks on the double yellow lines outside my house and wears sunglasses every day of the year, 'nuff said.

But I can't really say it bothers me if other kids much about when they come here. I want them to enjoy themselves not be worried about minding their p's and q's but then I'm kinda laid back.

I have kids that are polite and will eat almost anything out infront of them but to be honest are naturally wriggly - I would be upset if you never invited them back for that 1 reason

I think rigid table manners are entirely responsible for bad eating habits.

Eat what you want, when you want, I say. You can talk to parents any time. I fail to see why you all have to sit around a table every night in order to make 'connections.' It's enough to put a kid off food for life.

People who force kids to sit at a table and not leave it until they are 'excused' probably play golf, amongst other things.

A slap-up family get-together every now and again is great fun, but every night?

Every night = uptight.

8 and 6 you are totally nbu.

Incidently DD's been invited back to this girl's house - the one with the disapproving parents. I don't want her going back there when I know what their attitude is like. And I don't mean their attitude towards DD especially, more their expections of how kids should behave. They sound uptight and life's too short too inflict them on my DD.

I'm really shocked at the number of people who think the OP is being unreasonable Surely teaching kids good manners is an important life skill?? I would be horrified at kids behaving like this at mealtimes, my 3 year old can sit still and eat so why can't a 6year old.

JMVHO

kids sitting at a table to have a meal ? is that so unusual nowadays?

it is not a 'formal' meal !

Just to clarify what I said in my OP

'sat at the table to have tea as we would normally do as a family'

• meaning that we normally sit at the table to have a meal. MY DH wasn't there , I was hovering around the table etc and didn't actaully sit with them so nothing for another child to be uncomfortable about !

The children sat at the table to have tea as normally my children would.

I certainlty didn't get they silverware and crystal glasses out !

ok

1. What did you serve them?
2. Was it on teh table already when they arrived?