to not want strangers to touch dd?

[mookickkick]

On the bus, in shops, on the street... Would it be rude to tell them NO DON'T TOUCH HER? She chews her hands all the time and the thought of all those germs -- yuck.

Sorry, god, pregnancy head.

I didn't mean about being touched by children.

I meant just being touched.

Divvy.

YABU and OTT.

YANBU to be bothered, but it's hard to find a polite way of stopping people!

I don't get why people think it's ok to touch children and babies that don't know them. They wouldn't touch an adult in that way, would they? I think it's disrespectful.

Drape children in Michael Jackson type veils then

Yabu if people are just being passingly friendly.

Although nickschick's post is another thing again

we have an old crazy lady in our town that i see all the time and try my best to avoid!

we first encountered her when ds was 3 days old. i HAD to get out of the house as i was getting cabin fever and needed fresh air. ds was in the sling and she came over and lifted up the side of the sling to look in!! then she mumbled something about enjoy it while you can. they grow so fast. i just ran before she could get her fingers in there.

then i saw her at the gp's waiting room. she was coughing all over her hands and tried to touch ds again. i felt really bad but i just moved across the room

she always tries to sit with us on the bus and touch ds. it's like she does not get the hint! other people i don't mind b/c they seem clean enough but she's always got smelly clothes on and coughing all over herself. i'm nice to her but she grosses me out and she's the only one that i actually DO mind about touching ds.

so... you are not being unreasonable!

I don't mind when an old lady chats or pats dd when we are out and about but yesterday and old lady walked past us and grabbed dds hair and twirled it round her hand then sort of bent down and gave her a little squeeze . She then walked off without even speaking which I found quite odd I think dd did too as she ran back and held my hand .

I always remember my Mum freaking out at a man when I was tiny he was eating a bar of chocolate and pulled a bit out of his mouth and tried to give it me she went nutty .

Its a bit yucky tbh but I am of the 'mud pie in the garden' generation and am sure my dad rarely washed his hands around us so I guess it should do no harm...

It's nice that people want to admire and be friendly, but some children get scared and don't like to be touched by complete strangers. I wouldn't want some random person touching me or stroking my face, so why would every child like it?

But don't say anything though, it's just one of those things we have to put up with!

YANBU I hate DS being touched by strangers. When out for lunch at an Italian restaurant with my parents and grandparents, the owner was playing up to the full the stereotypical adoration of little children. In itself that was fine, but he kept grabbing DS, putting his face close and DS looked terrified and v uncomfortable. I didn't want to cause a scene given that my grandparents eat there regularly, but I did keep saying "I'm not sure he likes that, he's unsure of strangers" but the guy didn't take the hint at all. When alone, I've found it much easier to be assertive. I was on the bus and momentarily looking out of the window and the grubbiest man next to me started touching DS. I said "Please don't touch him" in the politest, friendliest voice I could, but he continued and I repeated it more firmly and he looked at me like I was mad before he apologised. I've no objection to people complimenting him, or offering their hand to him for him to choose to take. I just think one should treat the personal space of babies and small children as important as that of adults. It's not really about germs for me although as per my comment above I feel even more bleugh when it is an obviously grubby individual touching my PFB!!

I felt a bit like this, but only with certain people.

Like and old man who was a bit smelly and odd and a young girl who had cold sores all over her mouth and dirty hands poor thing....I literally snatched him away and wanted to scream!

YANBU - I used to fume when I had my dd sat in her pushchair with her lunch to eat it sitting up nicely (not on a bus though) and some fool person would decide to crouch down and talk to her, so putting her off it or 'help' her to eat it. Would they have appreciated being disturbed eating their lunch? I think not.

Mind you having a possetting baby tends to put most grabbers off .

What LambethLil said.

YABU and very precious. A baby is a precious gift. Some people (god forbid, I mean how dare they?) find a new baby so scrummy they can't help wanting to forge a brief connection. It might be the highlight of their day.

You have my sympathy. I had the same when ds was a baby and no his immune system wasn't strong enough to cope. He was a prem and then had delayed development so was tiny for a long time. It meant that at 6 months old he still looked like a newborn and people would touch him, ask how old he was (expecting the answer to be days rather than months) and then look horified when I told him his true age. I hated it.

YANBU - babies are not dolls, look and cooing is fine but touching and grabbing is not on.

What georgimama said.

I'd find it irritating sometimes, but it's natural for us to feel that way about babies. if we didn't have that instinct you'd probably get "why do they have to allow these messy, smelly kids out in public. I'm going to complain!"

I do understand the fear of infection though. But it would be illegal to stop someone touching you or DC for that reason. -mumsnet verdict

i loved my ds getting attention i never minded people touching my bump or touching my ds i felt proud they all thought he eas as cute as i did

must say i was very relaxed about everything even being my first but my sister was different wouldn't let anyone near her son not even family

if you don't like it that's up to you but somewhere inside be proud they think your baby is adorable its better than people not wanting to look at your child at all

i am a child admirer i have to say cant resist a gummy grin or chubby cheeks will make me think twice about admiring someones child now as i guess us mums who were not bothered by it presume all mums would feel the same as we did

YANBU. I hate it when strangers or people I dont really know well touch my DC's. Especially when they were small babies. It made me cringe when old men with great dirty hands stroked their cheeks....urgh!!

one day your child will eat goodness knows off the floor lick things that goodness knows what has been on it you have to relax and stop thinking of what vulgar things the person has done such as they may not wash there hands some family members may not wash there hands either cant prove they have before they have touched your child

its nice that people still have kindness to others so much nastiness in the world such small pleasures for an elderly person is to want to play with a small child especially if they are not in touch with there own families much

or have no family

there could be worse things happening than someone being nice i always think if my ds has made someones day then that's great i always make a habit of smiling at people and being nice some people like it some people don't but us people that are naturally like that don't mean harm were just being nice

bubblagirl did you see my dc eating catfood the other day [vomit emotiicon]?

lol no but ive seen my son with a snail in his mouth , someone else,s spat out sweet, my mums dogs dog food, the list could go on licking table at cafe wiped with some manky cloth goodness knows what else was on it

all this is needed anyway to build an immune system to dirt and grime

oh asnd i forgot drinking water from toy cup and wandering where the water had come from too small to reach taps ooh let me see toilet would happen to be the right height lol

To me, it's nothing to do with dirt, it's about personal space. I'm 100% happy for strangers to say hello, smile, anything really but touch my DS - I just think that's v strange.

I can't really decide if YABU or not.
I'm not madly keen on strangers touching DS but I let them get on with it as long as they seem reasonably sane and aren't the local tramp (although they usually want to pet my dog instead but that's another thread entirely!).

It makes me uncomfortable but I think it does DS good to meet all sorts of people and he does like to grin at old ladies so I can't really tell them to leave him alone when he has been grinning and giggling at them.