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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross about this letter from our neighbours?

103 replies

BecauseImWorthIt · 22/03/2009 17:49

Letter reads:

"Dear Neighbours!

X and I would be so grateful if you could trim down your trees. The gardens are so small that your trees already last year shadowed big parts of it.

This year most of the garden will be shadowed, even when the sun stands high.

We are also concerned about your [illegible, but I think it refers to either some ivy or a honeysuckle]. It starts to climb over the shed which will cause damp.

As I said, we would be so grateful if you could help us with this."

Background:

Gardens are south facing.

We have one cherry tree, in the bottom corner of our garden. It has been there for longer than we have lived here - 21 years. Our neighbours have been here for about 5. Last year they complained about the blossom falling into their garden, on to their decking and asked me to cut the tree back. I refused, but said I would have it pruned. I forgot to do that, but will do it this year, once it has blossomed. We had a gardening company in returfing our lawn last year, and they asked them to cut down our tree! They didn't ask me about this, just complained about the blossom.

Along the same fence I have a ballerina apple tree, which probably grows about 3 feet taller than the fence. Ballerina trees have one main trunk and only a few branches, all of which are pretty vertical. Nothing overhands their garden and the foliage is very light.

Then there is a ceanothus, which is also about 3 metres taller than the fence. Again, foliage is small and it is not an especially dense shrub.

They built their shed at the bottom of their garden, right up against the fence. Our ivy, and the honeysuckle, not surprisingly carries on growing up our fence and on to their shed.

I am happy to have our cherry tree pruned, and will even cut back the ivy and/or honeysuckle a bit. But I'm not too sure if this is what they want.

These neighbours have been practically re-building their house for the last 4+ years (work is still going on) and they have really, really irritated us with the constant work.

DH is livid about the letter and his response is unhelpfully belligerent.

We clearly have no sense of perspective about this, but I don't want to fall out as we do have to live with them as our neighbours!

So, oh wise MN - what would you counsel?

OP posts:
traceybath · 22/03/2009 17:52

Well i guess if you said you'd prune the cherry tree and then didn't last year they're worried you won't do it again.

Can you see from your window how badly your trees do restrict their sunlight?

Personally i'd do what i could to keep relations friendly as war with the neighbours is horrid.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 22/03/2009 17:53

There is no 'right to light' and there is nothing overhanging. Cut stuff that overhangs to keep the peace.
Otherwise ignore - your cherry tree sounds lovely, prune it as you would normally.

MitchyInge · 22/03/2009 17:53

nobody has a legal right to sunlight in their garden do they?

Sorrento · 22/03/2009 17:54

Trim your bush for the sake of a quiet life, they should have knocked the door but as they didn't I'd just do it anyway.

Onlyaphase · 22/03/2009 17:54

Well, I am a great believer in talking about these things face to face rather than leaving notes, so can see why this has annoyed you.

But, you have to live next door to them, so I would suggest you go and see them and ask to go in their garden to see how your trees and ivy are affecting their garden. You never know, if you see their garden you might actually agree with them about the shading etc

I also think it makes no difference how long the trees have been there nor how long your neighbours have been there - if there is shade in their garden caused by your trees you could at least try and sort it out to their satisifaction.

yama · 22/03/2009 17:54

The tone of the letter seems quite friendly.

If your tree shadows their garden then I would cut it back.

I have no experience of lovely bug gardens though so don't listen to me.

cocolepew · 22/03/2009 17:54

Maybe they're a bit pissed because you said you would orune and then didn't. Blossom is lovely on a tree but manky brown on the ground.

But I'd be narked at the constant work.

So I don't know if you're BUR or not

Doodle2U · 22/03/2009 17:54

I'd write back - "Yes, I am planning on pruning the cherry tree, after it has blossomed and I will be cutting back the ivy and/or honeysuckle shortly.

In the meantime, could you keep the building noise & disruption down - we would be so grateful if you could help us with this".

Cordially Yours

etc

MaureenMLove · 22/03/2009 17:56

I can't believe they wrote you a letter about it! Did they not have the balls and courage to speak to you about it?

I agree though, trim and tuck where there is an overhang, but what's in your garden is your business. To complain about the blossom on their decking is just mad too!

Doodle2U · 22/03/2009 17:56

Also, if anything physically over hangs their garden THEY can prune it back to the fence line - tell 'em to ask one of their builders to do it

MitchyInge · 22/03/2009 17:56

it's not your fault they have a small garden is it?

I think they are being ridiculous, however nicely phrased the request was I'd be fuming if I received a message like that

Original poster
BecauseImWorthIt · 22/03/2009 17:57

I can see into their garden from my bedroom window, so I can see how much light they do or don't have.

I suppose that's the real problem. Even if my cherry tree does cut off the sunlight, I don't want to lop much off it!

I will have it pruned this year - am very that I forgot last year, but I fear that they want it cut down not just pruned.

They drive me nuts - the woman especially. Everything has to be done to suit them and at their convenience. She went apeshit at me because

OP posts:
Original poster
BecauseImWorthIt · 22/03/2009 17:57

I can see into their garden from my bedroom window, so I can see how much light they do or don't have.

I suppose that's the real problem. Even if my cherry tree does cut off the sunlight, I don't want to lop much off it!

I will have it pruned this year - am very that I forgot last year, but I fear that they want it cut down not just pruned.

They drive me nuts - the woman especially. Everything has to be done to suit them and at their convenience. She went apeshit at me because

OP posts:
Original poster
BecauseImWorthIt · 22/03/2009 17:57

whoops!

Because our cats (had to be ours, even though there are loads in the neighbourhood) left pawrints in their new cement. Like it was my fault!

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 22/03/2009 17:57

How tall is your fence - just wondering as the shrub which is 3 meters taller than the fene, would probably annoy me....

Other than that the ivy and honeysuckle - trim back and add trelis to your fence for it to grow up rather than the shed - just a suggestion.

MitchyInge · 22/03/2009 17:57

because!

DogStar · 22/03/2009 17:58

well I think they are being a bit miserable about the blossom - messy blossom everywhere being one of the great joys of spring.

Can you have a meeting with them in the garden and go round and agree (or try to) on what you will and won't do? Perhaps you should handle this if your dh is feeling belligerent - don't blame him actually.

Stick with what you are happy to carry out and what you think is reasonable. good luck.

hatwoman · 22/03/2009 17:58

re the honey suckle or ivy - you should just say they're welcome to cut any that grows into their garden (which they are, of course, legally entitled to)but you don't need to cut it down on your side (or on their side, for them)

re the trees - I would have them pruned and, in the interests of neighbourliness I would apologise for forgetting last year. they are, I'm fairly sure, entitled to crop anything overhanging, should they wish.

re the note - it's a really tossy way of handling such things. I don't know why they couldn;t come and speak to you.

it's not worth escalating things though. just try to keep it calm and contained.

Original poster
BecauseImWorthIt · 22/03/2009 17:59

Nothing physically overhangs their garden.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 22/03/2009 18:00

i have to be honest, if the shrub is 3 mtrs taller than the fence it probably would annoy me, and if i had just had cement laid i dont suppose i would be very happy about paw prints in it.
i know you dont have a right to light in your garden, but try to think how you would feel if you got no sun all summer because of somebody elses trees, i wouldnt be very happy.

fuzzywuzzy · 22/03/2009 18:00

Do the cherry tree and honey and ivy as you are going to. Leave the rest as is, if it's not in their garden I suspect they actually want you to cut it below the fence height (this is just a guess obviously).

We had a neighbour who grew a huuuuge conifer tree, it grew like billy o, I didn't say a word to her, she cut it down herself one summer when she realised it was blocking out her sun. I had a rather amusing conversation with the neighbour after she cut it down, as she was raving that she had sooooo much more sushine in her garden now.

Some people have far too much time on their hands. Unless your actively growing trees in their garden, I think the note was wholly unneccessary, just politely asking you to trim back the ivy and the cherry tree would have been fine without adding the extras.....

On the other hand we did have neighbours, when I was living at home who had a cherry tree, not only was the tree huge and ancient and overhung in our garden, our neighbours demanded we return all fruit that fell into our garden, so we did, however after one summer of returning all the squashed rotten fruit that fell into our garden the neighbours then suggested we just kept the fruit! None of us ever had any interest in actively picking cherry's off the neighbours tree (or off the ground). I think they were upset we didn't have a barny over it!

Ivykaty44 · 22/03/2009 18:00

did she inform you that they were laying cement and to keep your cats in for their own safety?

southeastastra · 22/03/2009 18:01

i'm surprised no one has complained about my dad's trees which are really high, though i noticed he has bats in it.

can't you say you have bats so are protected

Ivykaty44 · 22/03/2009 18:03

I was in the garden - my little garden and am not best pleased at my own shrub which is supposed to grow to 5 foot - it is scaling 8-9 foot and blocking out noones light but my own

MitchyInge · 22/03/2009 18:03

pretend it has a tree preservation order?