to be cross about this letter from our neighbours?

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Letter reads:

"Dear Neighbours!

X and I would be so grateful if you could trim down your trees. The gardens are so small that your trees already last year shadowed big parts of it.

This year most of the garden will be shadowed, even when the sun stands high.

We are also concerned about your [illegible, but I think it refers to either some ivy or a honeysuckle]. It starts to climb over the shed which will cause damp.

As I said, we would be so grateful if you could help us with this."

Background:

Gardens are south facing.

We have one cherry tree, in the bottom corner of our garden. It has been there for longer than we have lived here - 21 years. Our neighbours have been here for about 5. Last year they complained about the blossom falling into their garden, on to their decking and asked me to cut the tree back. I refused, but said I would have it pruned. I forgot to do that, but will do it this year, once it has blossomed. We had a gardening company in returfing our lawn last year, and they asked them to cut down our tree! They didn't ask me about this, just complained about the blossom.

Along the same fence I have a ballerina apple tree, which probably grows about 3 feet taller than the fence. Ballerina trees have one main trunk and only a few branches, all of which are pretty vertical. Nothing overhands their garden and the foliage is very light.

Then there is a ceanothus, which is also about 3 metres taller than the fence. Again, foliage is small and it is not an especially dense shrub.

They built their shed at the bottom of their garden, right up against the fence. Our ivy, and the honeysuckle, not surprisingly carries on growing up our fence and on to their shed.

I am happy to have our cherry tree pruned, and will even cut back the ivy and/or honeysuckle a bit. But I'm not too sure if this is what they want.

These neighbours have been practically re-building their house for the last 4+ years (work is still going on) and they have really, really irritated us with the constant work.

DH is livid about the letter and his response is unhelpfully belligerent.

We clearly have no sense of perspective about this, but I don't want to fall out as we do have to live with them as our neighbours!

So, oh wise MN - what would you counsel?

They probably put it in writing because you didn't do it next year. And they feel the need to make it a bit more formal.

Sorry. That should have read "last year."

pointydog........ which is why we have bent over backwards to pay to have a number of trees cut down/back on their behalf. But enough's enough now.
And these neighbours would certainly not have bought a house in a rush.

I think the letter is very very polite and pleasant.

And i lived in a flat with some neighbours who we asked repeatedly to cut back/down some trees that were making our garden into a dank dark place.
The trees were really opressive.

I wnet onot their flat once and the trees were not noticeable as ther was so much lovely sunshine and the trees were out of view of the kitchen.

I'm not a stupid emotional woman, but i came back hoome a cried,

Some weeks laterthe bloke came round into our kitchen for somehting and looked out of the windeo and went very quiet,
And then started apologising about the trees...
they never knew quite how overbearing they were until he had actually seen the effect of them himelf.

They were cut down that year after about 3yrs of us asking.

What i'm trying to say is that hyou have no idea what the trees inquestion look like from their point of view.
The letter is polite and pleasant and i think you should respect it,.

and bringing in your annoyance at their building workat this stagae will end up sounding childish... unless oyu word it very very carefully you'll sound like my 3yr old .."but muuum, you started it "

I'm not going to write them a letter, oopsagain, as I think it's silly communicating like that. And I only raised the issue of the building to illustrate that we haven't got a balanced perspective on this - which is why I was asking for advice.

And I can tell how much light they get in their garden because I can see right into their garden from my bedroom. Which means I can see how much light and shade there is.

Anyway, thanks all. I will arrange to have the cherry tree pruned and will also cut back the other shrubs.

And we will continue to be, as we always have been, polite, courteous and considerate. Even if it has often been through gritted teeth!

my point is that you ccan't really tell what it looks like form the floor/their garden/house until you are standing in their position.

fair enough re the letter-

Well, actually I can - because I can see where the light is and where the shade is!

Message withdrawn

no, what i am saying is about how high they were and how opressive it was as well as the lack of light.

OK, I appreciate the posts, really. (And I mean that, I'm not being sarcastic!). We're talking about one tree. The others are shrubs.

And their complaint is all about the light. Which I can see from my room!

But I've also already said that I'll do the necessary pruning ...

I would send them a letter back saying what you have said here - that you will prune the tree once it has blossomed. I personally would trim as much of it as I could without making my own garden overlooked or damaging the tree for the sake of neighbour relations (have been in exactly the same situation but with neighbours I like and get on well with and this was fine)

I would also remind them that they are perfectly within their rights to trim back any branches that actually overhang their property - so if they want to cut back the ivy or honeysuckle that is actually on their shed they are welcome to do so. I see from your post that your tree doesn't actually go over their garden so they can't do anything with this.

If there are specific issues with the building work they have been doing I would bring this up too - although this would be better by going round to see them and talk about your trees / honeysuckle at the same time

Note not on - I would drop round in person and tell her I will prune the cherry and that you will try and keep the honeysuckle under control, but if any comes over the fence, they shoud feel free to cut it back.

If the ceanothus is 3m taller than the fence it must be a pretty huge thing as they do tend to get quite wide as they get taller. I would love the cherry tree if I lived next door to you but would hate the ceanothus. Do you like it? If not, could you offer to have it cut right back as a way of getting brownie points?

There is no way I would do any more than prune the cherry tree though - they are lovely.

The right to light under the Prescription Act that someone mentioned earlier is ONLY a right to light through 'an aperture', ie a window or door. There is no right to light in a garden. (A greenhouse is a collection of windows for the purposes of the Act.)

Ha! There IS some point in going to law school after all - I learned this last week !

They bought their house knowing full well the tree was there. I think they've got a bit of a cheek even asking you to chop it back !

Its your tree, your garden. If you don't want to trim it then don't. I wouldn't.

i'm guessing the trees and bushes were there when they moved in. i can't see that they have much to complain about.

Our neighbour has quite a big tree that overhangs ours...we just go round and ask him if he minds if we lop bits off occasionally

Knock on and be very friendly... tell them they can trim anything overhanging up to the line of the fence only...or you will yourself. Thats all you have to do.
You could mention the noise...but i'd be wary of getting into a tit for tat dialogue (she could come up with something else)

In fairness, even though you can see how much light/shade she has in her garden, it may feel very different when you are actually in her house/garden. You haven't actually walked a mile in her shoes, you've looked at the shoes and decided that gives you enough info to know how it would feel to walk in them.

yes, that's my point.
maybe ask to have a look at her renovations and then cop a look at the tree from their house/garden,
Than decide if they are being unreasonable...

god I hate neighbours.......YANBU - tell her she is welcome to trim whatever overhangs her garden but as for the rest - sod off and get a life woman (her not you of course!!!)

I've spoken to the guy who laid my new lawn last year, as he also does garden maintenance and pruning. He made a couple of interesting points. First, neither the tree nor the ceanothus should be pruned until the summer, after they have flowered. So they will still continue to block out the light.

Second, pruning will make both tree and shrub bushier, thereby compounding the problem!

So I can't do it right now, as this would risk damaging my tree/shrub and/or putting them at risk of canker/other diseases. And even when I di (which I will) it is only going to aggravate the problem in future years!

I'm not going to bring up the issue of the building work/disruption (unless severely provoked!), but I am going to go and talk to her.

Trouble is I'm such a wuss I'm getting myself into a real state about having to do it. I hate this kind of thing and I don't want a confrontation. Trouble is, I can't see a way out of it that's going to keep both of us happy.

I would just pop over now (if you're at home) and tell her exactly what you have written in your last post.

That you are happy to trim the ceonothus and tree but are not able to do so until after they have flowered for fear of damaging them. Explain that your gardener has advised though that this might make them more bushy and compound the problem so if she would prefer that you left them alone you are happy to do that too.

And remind her that she is entitled to trim anything overhanging the fence herself so that she can trim the ivy and honeysuckle and any branches of the bushes or tree that do this without asking you.

If she gets stroppy about you sayign you can't prune until later in the year I would politely remind her that you don't HAVE to do this at all - you are just trying to help her improve light in her garden. And then leave before you slap her one!

but the letter was nice- whya re you getting so stressed about it?

the stuff about having to live so close to our neighbours i this world is all about give and take and comprimise and stuff.

ok, explain why you are worried about pruning the tree - i don't buy the extra busy argument, if it is the heihgt that is the problem then more busy is ok isn't it?

and take round a nice cake to smooth the whole situation over.

or am i missing the point?

you don't want a row, you are happy to cut the height off the tree but you would prefer not to dmage it in the meantime so will do it later in the year- if that's ok with them.
and yyou'd liekt o be able to have a nice relationship with your neighbours...

and then later you cna ask re the building work- and not to be more upst about that...

give and take...

sorry- bushy not busy!

I'm getting stressed about it because I suspect that she wants more than just pruning. I can't prune the tree until August, which will mean that for most of the summer they will have to put up with it, and she won't be happy with that.

And bushy (or busy!) will be a problem because it will block more light in the future. So we will then end up having this 'discussion' every year.

We have small gardens in our road and our garden has a tree in the corner of the garden overhanging 2 neightbours. We're reluctant to cut it down, but do get it regularly pruned as it does shadow ours and the neighbours gardens. Most people build sheds in the corners of gardens so I don't think your neighbours are unreasonable in building a shed next to your boundary. I do wonder why they don't just trim back your shrubs if they are on your land, but mabe they can't reach them. I'm careful to trim back my climbers if they are encroaching on my neighbours land.
I think your neighbours are asking you nicely to keep your plants under control and would get the tree pruned and keep the climbers under control and apologise for not having pruned the tree when you had said you would.

Meant to say I'm surprised they don't prune the shed climber if the climbers were on your neighbours land, not on yours.