to be cross about this letter from our neighbours?

[BecauseImWorthIt]

Letter reads:

"Dear Neighbours!

X and I would be so grateful if you could trim down your trees. The gardens are so small that your trees already last year shadowed big parts of it.

This year most of the garden will be shadowed, even when the sun stands high.

We are also concerned about your [illegible, but I think it refers to either some ivy or a honeysuckle]. It starts to climb over the shed which will cause damp.

As I said, we would be so grateful if you could help us with this."

Background:

Gardens are south facing.

We have one cherry tree, in the bottom corner of our garden. It has been there for longer than we have lived here - 21 years. Our neighbours have been here for about 5. Last year they complained about the blossom falling into their garden, on to their decking and asked me to cut the tree back. I refused, but said I would have it pruned. I forgot to do that, but will do it this year, once it has blossomed. We had a gardening company in returfing our lawn last year, and they asked them to cut down our tree! They didn't ask me about this, just complained about the blossom.

Along the same fence I have a ballerina apple tree, which probably grows about 3 feet taller than the fence. Ballerina trees have one main trunk and only a few branches, all of which are pretty vertical. Nothing overhands their garden and the foliage is very light.

Then there is a ceanothus, which is also about 3 metres taller than the fence. Again, foliage is small and it is not an especially dense shrub.

They built their shed at the bottom of their garden, right up against the fence. Our ivy, and the honeysuckle, not surprisingly carries on growing up our fence and on to their shed.

I am happy to have our cherry tree pruned, and will even cut back the ivy and/or honeysuckle a bit. But I'm not too sure if this is what they want.

These neighbours have been practically re-building their house for the last 4+ years (work is still going on) and they have really, really irritated us with the constant work.

DH is livid about the letter and his response is unhelpfully belligerent.

We clearly have no sense of perspective about this, but I don't want to fall out as we do have to live with them as our neighbours!

So, oh wise MN - what would you counsel?

Still no point getting stressed over it though is there? If she wants more than pruning then just tell her that you are not prepared to do more than this as you like your trees and shrubs (and presumably they were there when she chose to buy her house).

Just go and tell her what i said in my last post. There would really be no need for her to be awkward if you are open with her would there? If she is just politely remind her that you don't have to do any of this but you are just trying to help.

BIWI - get a grip now....it's a bloody tree and these fools are making a song and dance about feck all....you know that, right?!

Their stupid, twee, balcony and your objection to it (quite right IMO) has set them off but you know what....they can't have everything all their own way.

You have to put up with the balcony. You have to put up with all their building noise etc and now they're grinding you down over what??? A bit of a tree and a few sprigs of a creeper they can bloody well prune themselves if it bothers them that much.

It's a garden - what do they expect you to have it in - astro turf and plastic 5" shrubs?

The tree stays and your right to privacy top trumps their right to 'light' - from ONE bloody tree....how much light do they think they have a right to.

Gird your loins. You are NOT, in any way shape or form, in the wrong here.

You could get the council to put a protection order on the tree

Oh yes and tell them if they want the bloody sun they can sit on their bloody balcony!

OK so that might not really help in negotiations but you can htink it!

Well good luck.

I would try to see it from their point of view and try to be concilaitory tbh.

life is too short.

when the neighbours who finally cut down the tree we were much much happier

there was a boundary dispute after this- the tress were ON the boundary and the prev owner of our flat had stupidly put a fence on our side of the tree
when tress were gone, the fence also fell down finally and we were supposed to replace it.

nieghbour objected to the fence being in a straight line and actually wanted us to put a bend in it to reflect what had been there before the tress had gone.

we couldn't work out what to do.
so we did nothing for about 3 months, they didn't talk about it again for a ling time.. was over winter so not out in garden daily etc...

finally, the bloke came round again and asked us to put the fence back- i said it was imposs to put a bend in it- would end up too complicated. he agreed and then after 3 months of waiting we havd a lovely new fence.

somtimes less is more and you get what you need be being quiet and calm.

i'm jsut trying to show that rightious indignation is one thing- but when it comes to neighbours it's prob best to just be chilled and freindly and actually try to help...
but i can see the pitchforks are out and will retire gracefully

Would you all come round and come with me please?

Hands up - my pitchfork is at the ready but only because I've seen and heard this time and again and it's so unfair.

We've got an ongoing thing with neighbours on one side...we don't rise to it but the same neighbours have fallen out with the people they back on to and the people on the other side....s'like they will never be happy and will always find summat to whinge about but lo, if they do anything, no one is allowed to say a word.

Thankyou! I was just about to write a very similar letter to our neighbours whose leylandii hedge overshadows our garden. We've talked in person and had rather awkward phone conversations. I prefer letters, so that I can be polite, without stuttering and stammering - but I can see that lots of people find them awkward. I'll still write, but go out of the way to sound extra friendly!

YABU - trim the trees - you don't need one almost 10 ft higher than the fence. Whether building work is going on is irrelevant & their letter sounds pleasant & written in a way to not cause any offence.

My mum's next by one neighbour had a vile leylandi in his garden for years , which took all the light & made everyone miserable.

Imagine if you were in the situation & it was making you miserable.

ok, i don't know for certain all the legal ins & outs, but if your trees are blocking the light, they can force you to have them removed. there was a law passed about the right to light after a spate of leylandii being planted, and then not controlled. for that reason, it is best to put letters in writing. there is something about if you have been requested, but failed to act, then they can appeal to the council & have the trees removed. therefore keep receipts from getting them pruned, to show that you have done something. (my parents have neighbours threatening to do this, although my parents keep pruning the trees. their neighbour once marched into the garden & started yelling at the tree surgeon so much that he stayed up the tree, too scared to come down until my mum came home.)

however, the letters are also evidence of a dispute with the neighbours, so not so good if you want to sell the house.

if your plants are growing into their garden & causing damage to their shed, then you are liable, so you really should prune them before that happens, although perhaps point out that you have no objections to them cutting them as well, try to be co-operative.

obviously, you don't want to start a 'war' with the neighbours, but you also have a right to a quiet life. if their homeimprovements are so bad, you too have the right to complain.

TBH I think YABU

kickassangel - that law only applies to evergreens which the cherry is not so would not apply. Generally too applies to hedges rather than a solitary tree.

If you intend to prune the trees then say so - they can prune thier side but it would end up with a very lopsided tree!

On the other hand, they have no right to compel - my neighbours came round to ask if I minded if they lopped 5 feet off the top of my Leylandii; as i am taking them out as soon as i get council permission i had no problem at all, but they paid and cleared away all the mess etc

Why, Twims?

I have said I will have the tree pruned, and I've already spoken to a tree surgeon about it today.

I will, for the sake of peace and quiet also prune the ceanothus and cut back the ivy.

I have also, just out of curiosity and in the desire not to cause more of a problem, spoken to our council and have discovered that my neighbours have no right to object to our tree if it is in our garden and not overhanging theirs.

Shortcircuit - there is one tree. It is a mature, ornamental cherry tree that reached its full height years ago - long before they moved in next door. Why should I cut it down?!

Sorry. I now sound like I don't want people to be telling me I'm unreasonable. This was exactly why I started the thread, because I was aware that my perspective was biased to say the least!

But if you're going to tell me IABU I would appreciate your reasons as well, as this gives me something to consider as well.

And I am really grateful for all these replies.

Did you object to the balcony at the planning stage ?? They did get consent for it ??

We didn't object at the planning stage, but then we heard that they had been refused planning permission. I was very glad, because by then I regretted not putting in an objection. But it was too late. When someone appeals, which is what they did, the only people who are given notice of the appeal are those who objected in the first place.

One of the reasons we didn't object was that we didn't want to cause any trouble ...

Well, I girded my loins and went round, but there was no-one in.

I have written the following, but haven't sent it yet. What do you think?

"Dear X

Thank you for your letter. I came round today to discuss it, as I would prefer to deal with things like this face-to-face, but there was no-one in, and I wanted you to have a reply sooner rather than later.

We will be pruning the cherry tree this summer, but the earliest that this can be done is, we think, August. If cherry trees are pruned too early they can contract a disease called Silverleaf, or another disease, canker, which can kill them. I have asked the tree surgeon to let us know the earliest possible date that we can carry out the pruning. As the tree is a mature one (it has been here longer than we have, and we have lived at number 33 for almost 21 years!), it will not grow any taller.

The only other shrub that we have that may block light from your garden is our Ceanothus. This will be pruned some time in the Easter holidays, after it has flowered.

I will cut back the ivy that is growing on your shed. However, I would like to ask your permission to put up some trellis on the back of your shed that will support the ivy and our honeysuckle, as it will help to disguise the shed somewhat. Please let me know if you are happy for us to do this.

regards

BIWI"

What do you think? Send, amend or not?

I have a south facing back garden, my neighbour has an ash tree much taller then the point of my cowl (very high pointy oast house roof).

After 2pm, even in the height of summer, my garden is almost completely in shadow - as is the neighbour (the other side of me) as the shadows lengthen.

So, I think it doesn't hurt to give a little consideration for those around us, what we do in our lives impacts on those close to us be it loud music, smoky bonfires or trees.

It seems pretty reasonable to me. I think it's good that you are seeking to reassure her that the cherry tree is unlikely to grow any more, and your letter shows clearly (to me, anyway) that you have every intention of it later on in the year.

I might suggest adding a sentence to explain that you forgot about having it pruned last year, and saying sorry for forgetting.

Haven't read all the replies, but why do people write letters to their neighbours instead of just knocking the door and asking politely? IMO, a letter unnecessarily formalises what is really a petty thing.

HG - I agree, I went round but there was no-one in.

I'm being a bit cowardly putting it in writing, but equally I wanted to put my responses forward without getting drawn into an argument.

I would have preferred it if they had come round to see me as well - although I know there was a high risk that they would really have annoyed DH, which is also something I'm trying to avoid!

(Sorry - we have had a really bad time living next to them over the last 5 years, and it doesn't take much to wind either of us up, which is what I really don't want to happen)

Yeah, well it does put a different shade on it if you don't get on with each other

Tricky situation all round.

I meant "it doesn't take much to wind either of us up about the last 5 years" - actually normally I'm pretty quiet and reasonably placid!

Your garden does not seem that bad. At least you don't have Leylandi trees!
Our garden faces west and half of our grass in is shade even in high summer. Nothing will grow under the hedge and it is 11ft tall and runs the whole lenght of the garden.
The Leylandi belongs to our neighbours but they never cut it back even though they own a tool hire business and could do it for free!
Luckily our garden is wide so the other half gets lots of sunshine so when the gales blow, their fence blows away but our garden is sheltered!
But the OP neighbours are just loonies!

Update:

I delivered my letter (without putting in an apology for forgetting last year ).

Bumped into my neighbour yesterday, who apologised on behalf of her DH who wrote the initial letter, saying (very tellingly) that he's writing to all the neighbours! (Goodness knows what about).

She tried to tell me that it should be pruned sooner, but I told her that July/August was the advice that I've been given, and so she accepted that, after telling me that she knows lots about plants ...

She ignored my request to put trellis on the back of her shed, and I have left that for the moment.

Her parting comment was a complaint about the amount of blossom that comes off said cherry tree. My response was to laugh lightly, and pleasantly, and say "well there's nothing I can do about that!".

So diplomatic relations appear to have been resumed. For the moment at least!

Thanks to everyone who gave me their views/perspective. It did help.