to write mildly pornographic stories, even though DH hates it?

[KayHarkerIsPlayingWithMitchell]

In amongst trying to to general mumsy things, I write stories, many of which feature fictional characters doing incredibly rude things to one another.

Dh absolutely hates me writing anything much at all, unless it's the few little projects I have convinced him might bring me £50 royalties when I'm 40 or something.

He especially hates the fanfiction and the ones which include sexual situations, and tells me it's no different to me having an affair with someone.

I disagree, and am actually seriously considering trying to do something full length which includes sexual situations. Am I unreasonable to continue writing despite his wishes?

So are we talking pass the popcorn whilst we read it or pass the rabbit?

I think you need to read A Room Of One's Own or similar, about a woman's right to write, and why men don't like it...

I am sorry to say, I think he has got some very weird ideas. He needs to get a grip

poopscoop, well yes, the idea is that they're are enjoyable to read.

Nobody thinks he's got a point? What about when he says it's like being a pornographer?

You should contact Black Lace Pub. and get a instruction pack, I know someone who writes for them and it is fairly lucrative.

I wanted to do it myself once, but I've never got round to it.

All I did was wiki your name Kay, to try and guess...Trust me to pick the most disgusting character combination at random, maybe you can use it

YANBU

Although I can't really comment, as I am apparently unfamiliar with the issues

Weirdy thing to say, that writing about sex = having an affair.

It sounds like he doesn't want you even to think about sex unless you're actually doing it with him. Maybe not even then.

Noooooooo, he hasn't got a point.

It is odd that he picks on the porn side of it - most fellas would be thrilled. Have you tried reading them to him, making him a character or something? Is he normally a bit prudish?

Ooh I love Black Lace books! Or my 'rudey lady books' as DH calls them - he loves it! I have several

My mother is an author of erotic fiction.

It took me some time to come to terms with it...reading her stories...I mean she is still my mom for god's sake.

However, she is very talented and has since been published.

My dad was also very put off by it...

After awhile we both realized that her happiness was what was most important and if this was what she wanted to write then so be it.

I am now proud to say what she does and I am very proud of her.

Hopefully, in time, your DH will just want you to be happy

Well I suppose you are kinda being a pornographer, if you want to be literal about it. But I honestly don't see what the problem is with that.

Oh and my mom makes a very good living doing it too lol so you could make some money eventually.

And she is total 'soccer mom in the minivan'...so you would never guess! I still find that quite amusing

Oh, I can totally understand being squeamish about reading erotic fiction by your mum.

I've read some of the non-rude stuff to him, but he's just a bit bored by the whole thing. The sexual stuff makes him cross, but other than that, he's just really dismissive.

BoF, I've never written anything fannish for the Box of Delights - gosh, it's written by the then poet laureate, I wouldn't dare try.

I have just asked DH if you are being unreasonable and he said NO.

that is because he is filthy bellavita

YABU to not post your filth on here for my enjoyment

with a name like that mitchy i think you have been having too much enjoyment

Oh God, Kay, I was hoping this wasn't you...

Well, as you know, I am a big fan of your stuff, erotic and not so erotic. So I'm not exactly a disinterested observer.

But I have a few observations. Firstly, I have no problem with pornography that does not exploit or degrade people. Fiction is one of the few pornographic genres where you can be fairly sure of safe ground in that respect. So your husand's description of you as a pornographer would carry no sting for me...does it for you?

Secondly, the only situation in which I can see your husband having even the slightest right to interfere with your interests is if it infringes his privacy or creates a massive additional stress in the family. Which seems unlikely, but I guess is worth considering objectively.

So my hackles are rising on your behalf.

heh

I wish

I assume you are the regular KH?
And not an imposter KH with extra bits after the neame? (because i am confused by poopscoops irritating accusations of 'troll' - KH is not a troll!)

It sounds as if your DH has a problem with any of your writing - why is that? Is it for reasons rooted in A Room of One's Own? In which case talk t hism straight about your autonomy etc.

IS your writing erotic? It sounds as if it is intended to be, and may therfore be fuffling his male pride feathers and making him believe you are being unfaithful in your imagination, and writing down your fantasies about sex with other men etc. In which case, encourge him to see the positive side of you having an active interest in eroticism?

OR does he had religious objections to you writng eroticism, aka posh porn? In that case, I have no idea what to suggest.

But the bottom line is I think you should be able to express yourself freely. For me it is a basic foundation of your rights in a free world.

I know that Blu. It has come over from another thread

oh, OK!

Yes, Blu, exactly. Very good point about the male pride/unfaithful in imagination point. How does your DH feel about fantasising in general? Is he the sort of person who is a bit dismissive of daydreaming?