To be sick of reading on MN that you are a "good role model" to your dd if you go back to work??

[ssd]

have read this over various posts on MN over the years

usually posters give various reasons to return to work, all viable and good, but then the poster throws in the "good role model" shite

why always harp back to this?

if you love your kids, teach them to respect and care for others, learn manners and discipline THEN you are a good role model

most of us eventually will return to work at some stage and if we don't we will still be good role models unless we are lying about the house taking drugs and leaving the kids to go feral, which I;m sure not too many of us do!

I know I'll get slated on here as the going back to work to be a good role model line seems to be very poplular round here and I'm not trying to wind up posters who use it, it just seems to me people work out of necessity, not to be a role model

And BTW where's all the role models for ds's??? or is just loving them enough?

who needs misogynists when you have mumsnet?

whats wrong with being a full time mother any way?

maybe nannies are really unemployed lol

Christ PF don't you know anyone normal?
And please stop the MOTHER MEN CAPITALS it makes you look crazy

JeanPoole are you talking to me with the 'bonkers' comment? How odd. I am being perfectly polite and stating my pov. I thought tihs was a discussion forum, am I mistaken?

you are getting a little confused
just because someone doesn't have a "job" doesn't mean they are unemployed.
it is reflective of some pretty unpleasant and reductive attitudes towards parenting, towards children, towards the needs of children.

i find some 'pov' on here offensive

I'll capitalise whatever I like.

I can't be bothered to italicise but caps do the job. You want to call me crazy fine, but that isn't what most people call a 'discussion' - it's called 'insulting someone' - which I didn't tihnk was the idea here.

u r orl sh1t mthrs & r0ll mods

no refering to MillyR nd this post on Fri 20-Mar-09 21:18:23

"JeanPoole

It is not odd. Ask a nanny with children which part of her day is doing her job and which is caring for her family, and I am sure the difference will become apparent to you. "

I know plenty of people who have all sorts of working models. WOTH mothers and non mothers, WOTH fathers and SAH fathers. What's your point? Attacking the person because you disagree with their argument is really not on imo

oh I htink it's fine to insult you pollyfilla

it's mumsnet etiquette

Quite right, notanotter, women slagging other women off in the name of feminism.

hoorah for mrsrufalo and small orange

Mumsnet does not reflect the opinions of my experience in RL thank goodness.

There are too many nulabour types here....nulabour seems to think all mothers should get back to work asap.

And feel free to disagree with me, that's absolutely fine, of course. But attacking me for my supposed friends or social circle or for my use of capitals is, well, intellectually extremely lazy.

I don't think this is a competitive parenting thread. SAHM and WOHM can both be good parents, but this is meant to be a thread about being a role model to your children. I do not see how your parenting skills have very much to do with your status as a role model. They are two distinct issues.

Ultimately, a human rights lawyer who gets some innocent people out of prison is a role model to us all and to her own children. I don't care if a SAHM or a mum who works in admin are the best mums ever, they are not a role model simply for being able to fulfill the basic human role of bringing up a child competently (unless there are some hugely difficult circumstances). Some people really do do things that allow them to quite accurately claim to be a role model to their children and OP is unreasonable to suggest there are not some women who have achieved amazing things, and who have posted so on MN.

ROFL at MrsR and bonkers

Haven't even bothered to read whole thread only skimmed it, because I know how it will tiresomely pan out, but I have no doubt whatsoever that it's the usual bonkers

LBella, why is it ok to insult me? I am genuinely asking? I don't mind disagreement at all but why am I being attacked for other things? I don't get it. I can disagree with a person's pov without slagging them off personally. I haven't been rude about anyone here.

Bonkertastic in fact

happywomble woohoo how refreshing

lets start a post feminist sahm supporting club

you me mrs r and small orange

you are very right re new labour

Peachy, my point was that there is nothing that I personally do not do as a result of being a WOHM that I would/ could do if I were a SAHM since my children are school-aged and I work school hours in term time. There is quite a lot that I wouldn't be able to do if I wasn't a WOHM though. This also goes for dp who is also a teacher.

ROFL at working mums being new labour

Hardly anyone's new labour nowadays - just look at the polls ...

Why has this thread gone pearshaped?

notanotter

Sounds a good club!

HC and JP

I have never said that there was anything wrong with being unemployed or with being a SAHM.

I respect SAHMs and think it is a valid choice.

But a nanny with kids does look after more children, and a SAHM only looks after her own. I find it quite upsetting that any parent would consider bringing up their own child as a job. But I do understand that it is an essential activity and worthy of respect.

And lots of people have to look after elderly relatives, including working mums and people who have no children at all.

I think it is both of you who have an issue with the unemployed and think it is somehow shameful.

If SAHMs are employed, can you explain to me who their employer is?

millyr "Where I used to work, if someone put SAHM, mother, or housewife on a form, it would be entered into the computer as unemployed"
And.....not sure what you're getting at? Although rather than 'unemployed' it would probably be more realistic to be entered as 'unwaged'.

NAO - I could put 'mother' but don't you think that's a bit odd? I mean anyone with a child could put 'mother' regardless of their occupation. Seriously, I'm not having a go. I would like to know what else other than h/w I would put although looking at my response to millyr I might put 'unwaged' and let them guess for themselves.

Really pollyfilla?
So me calling you bonkers is more insulting than you suggesting that sahm's are slaves to MEN?