To be sick of reading on MN that you are a "good role model" to your dd if you go back to work??

[ssd]

have read this over various posts on MN over the years

usually posters give various reasons to return to work, all viable and good, but then the poster throws in the "good role model" shite

why always harp back to this?

if you love your kids, teach them to respect and care for others, learn manners and discipline THEN you are a good role model

most of us eventually will return to work at some stage and if we don't we will still be good role models unless we are lying about the house taking drugs and leaving the kids to go feral, which I;m sure not too many of us do!

I know I'll get slated on here as the going back to work to be a good role model line seems to be very poplular round here and I'm not trying to wind up posters who use it, it just seems to me people work out of necessity, not to be a role model

And BTW where's all the role models for ds's??? or is just loving them enough?

Blueshoes - I am not saying that ANY fathers have a less warm and satisfying relationship with their children. My DH sometimes sees our children even less than 1 hour per day depending on his shifts yet he has a wonderful relationship with his children.

However, he would love to spend less time at work and more time at home, and thats where the difference lies. Xenia is happy with 2 hours per day, which I find very strange.

Also, it is a fact, whether you like it or not, that in most 2 parent households it will be the father who is the main earner and will therefore be the one likely to spend less time with the children. (I re-iterate - this would be in most households, not all.)

What Xenia was saying was that she thinks that 2 hours per day IS adequate for her. This is what I find hard to understand. Even if work committments mean that a parent is spending so little time with their children thats not to say that most of those parents would love to spend more time with their children given the chance.

Most people spend 2 hours a day walking their dog!!

Twinset, you have no reason to feel guilty. Your dd has someone that loves her on tap. In my view it doesn't have to be the mother - just someone that is capable of loving dd.

chibi, mariemarie, why are you fixated on 2 hours. What is this business about walking a dog for 2 hours - are you somehow equating parents of children who spend 2 hours with them with raising dogs? Get a grip.

For some people, 2 hours a day is plenty around young children. My dh is happy with that, so are some of my colleagues at work. It is not always a personal tragedy. To many, it is a nice balance.

If by your own admission mariemarie, your dh who sometimes spends less time than that with his dcs has a warm relationship with them, why should it matter to you that Xenia thinks 2 hours is sufficient if her children are otherwise happy and cared for.

Your dh does not think so he spends enough time, well sad for him. Xenia thinks she does, bully to her. She has by all accounts a good relationship with her dcs, a fantastic career and what she feels is the right balance between her work and time with her dcs.

We need more role models (yes, that word is perfect in this context) like Xenia - who have achieved in both the work sphere AND at home. We don't people to throw stones from the sidelines and cast doubt on her nurturing instincts.