To be sick of reading on MN that you are a "good role model" to your dd if you go back to work??

[ssd]

have read this over various posts on MN over the years

usually posters give various reasons to return to work, all viable and good, but then the poster throws in the "good role model" shite

why always harp back to this?

if you love your kids, teach them to respect and care for others, learn manners and discipline THEN you are a good role model

most of us eventually will return to work at some stage and if we don't we will still be good role models unless we are lying about the house taking drugs and leaving the kids to go feral, which I;m sure not too many of us do!

I know I'll get slated on here as the going back to work to be a good role model line seems to be very poplular round here and I'm not trying to wind up posters who use it, it just seems to me people work out of necessity, not to be a role model

And BTW where's all the role models for ds's??? or is just loving them enough?

He can become a male nanny.

Please read my post again - i hate it when people dont read the posts - i didnt say i was getting this amount (i wish). I was COSTING the family this amount (before Tax, NI, petrol, phone

Also i am not going to list my CV here. I could have a PhD too, how do you know that i dont

sorry, last post to Riven

Wishing - don't think it harms kids to know they're not the centre of the universe.
When new babies come along I suspect there's lot of 'just a minute' ing goes on. Ditto if you care for an elderly relative. Not just for working.

Wishing,
lol at your dd s answers. (i mean lol in a good way)

She does make me laugh and agree with the 'not centre of the universe' thing. As my dad says, if you don't teach them that, they'll grow up to be Victoria Beckham (he has a bit of a thing about VB).

Feel a bit at the napping in her own bed comment though, but on balance I would still work ... for that security blanket I feel I need.

JeanPoole We have no way of knowing if Xenia is bitter and it is not really part of the MN philosophy to get personal or overtly patronising, 'love', even if you disagree. Lets just keep the attacks to the posts and not the people who post them?

But you know what?

Even so with my cv i could do other jobs too with the same money, Wishing's post remind me why i enjoyed the 23 years of nannying!!
Children are SO interesting. And funny

I don't think Xenia is bitter. I think she has Asperger syndrome. She is very like my x. I don't mean that as an insult. But she has a lot of the positive traits such as a higher than average intelligence and ambitious, determination, focus, but her single-mindedness and her absolute and complete inability to understand that their is not 'one correct way' to do things rings a bell with me.

Other people's feelings, arguments, obstacles, reasoning etc, none of it even penetrates her absolute belief that her views on this subject are the correct views.

ladies,
sorry but i just went for a minute to the childcare section and read a very interesting post. Interesting because some posters here mentioned continuity of childcare and 'priorities'.

I feel very at the post there but ok am not going to mention it because is bad ettiquete

Riven - I hate to say it but from your posts I have always thought that you would make a terrific politician/human rights campaigner/activist...but I suspect that's not what your MIL had in mind .
If it's any consolation, mine thinks I shouldn't work and should spend my days cleaning and ironing her son's shirts.

well if you could give me ANY job in the whole world, theres nothing i would rather do than raise my own dd.

upto you what you lot do!

there was a really interesting article on here ages ago about a mother who lost custody of her children when she divorced because she worked FT.

i will try to find it...

Ah but Jeanpool - I do that job too.

not imo.
not truely.

also it depends on long the baby/child is in care for.
a 6 week old baby in nursery FT is not raised by the parents imo.

my career cost me my children thread

food for thought.

Well I don't have a CM or Nanny. Just me and DH. So I'm sorry but we are raising our kids.

Me too Litchick. But it is different with school age children.

I have already had my input on this subject but I have just caught up on recent posts and would like to ask this question to Xenia.

Xenia - You really dont have to answer this question if you dont want to, and I promise, I am genuinly intrigued as to your answer. Would you mind explaining to me why you decided to have a child/children.

I absolutely love to spend time with my children and we learn so much from each other and they really do make me laugh. Whilst I appreciate that some working parents have no choice but to spend only 2 hours a day with their children I admit I am horrified that you think that 2 hours a day is sufficient. Can you explain why you dont feel even a tad guilty at bringing children into this world with the thought that just 2 hours a day with them is enough.

You may well have a fantastic career and be successfully climbing the ladder with your male counterparts, but at what expense?

I have no problem with mothers being career women or being the main earner but I truly beleive that children need at least 1 parent who is willing to give up some of their time for them. If not, whats the point in having children, just continue climbing that career ladder until you reach the top.

I have about an hour a day with dd during the week, have most of the weekend and the school holidays togther. That is hard and I often feel guilty. But she has dp on tap, he organises his whole life around her.

It does not have to be the woman that is at home.

mariemarie, I appreciate this is a genuine question for Xenia. But many fathers spend only 2 hours a weekday with their dcs or less and still have warm and satisfying relationships with them. Would you ask fathers the same question - why have children?

mariemarie, great post! I would like to forward it on to all the dhs and dps...

Men - You really dont have to answer this question if you dont want to, and I promise, I am genuinly intrigued as to your answer. Would you mind explaining to me why you decided to have a child/children.

Can you explain why you dont feel even a tad guilty at bringing children into this world with the thought that just 2 hours a day with them is enough.

You may well have a fantastic career and be successfully climbing the ladder with your female counterparts, but at what expense?

I have no problem with fathers being career men or being the main earner but I truly beleive that children need at least 1 parent who is willing to give up some of their time for them. If not, whats the point in having children, just continue climbing that career ladder until you reach the top.

does the above post sound silly? If so, maybe you should ask yourself why...