To be angry at the "I 'm scared my dad will did" smoking advert was shown at the cinema yesterday during a PG film?

[Notalone]

I fully understand the purpose of the advert, I really do, but I also feel it is installing fear that wasn't there before into children.

I took DS to the cinema yesterday to see a PG and there were lots of children there. This advert came on and it really scared DS as DP smokes. I gave up smoking a while ago and I am aware that smoking is stupid, dangerous etc but I cannot force DP to give up until he is ready. However DS is now convinced his dad is going to die soon. I feel these adverts may well have kids all over the country terrified and tbh this makes me angry as it is not fair on them. What do you think?

Iassumed the idea of the ads was to get the children to nag their parents into giving up smoking. So in a way YABU. As a non smoker I think if it gets smokers to stop then it can only be a good thing surely?

DD is too young to understand and has never seen DH smoke. I appreciate the ad though because it seems to be working on DH. That said i'm not sure it is appropriate for screening before a pg movie for the reason you stated.

I can sort of understand the "pester power" side of it too, but the "my dad / mum will die" is so scary for a child to deal with. I think these adverts should be shown mainly in places where small kids are not going to be

The point of the adverts is to make them shocking/upsetting. They need to be hardhitting in order to work....get people to stop smoking. This includes influencing the children of smokers, making the smokers feel guilty and ultimately making them quit.
It's a shame that your DS is so upset but maybe it will give your DP the incentive to stop. After all the advert isnt lying is it??
As I sit here on Mumsnet DP is at a funeral and carrying the coffin of a good friend who has died of smoking related cancer at the age of 49. He has left two boys of 12 and 9.
I should point out that I smoked up until 18 months ago so I know how hard it is to give up.

I thought the purpose of these ads was to guilt trip the parents and in this case it seems that might have worked.

YANBU - it's totally wrong to terrify children that their parents will die as an anti-smoking campaign. Fine if this is aimed at adults to show them how their habit effects their children, but it's far too much to put on a child's shoulders.

But it hopefully also has the effect of those children growing up thinking why would i want to smoke if it means im going to die - wheres the fun in that.

At the end of the day the adverts are truth - if you smoke then are more likely to die younger - fact

Lets hope that some of those kids go home an nag their parents and persuade them to give up

(im an ex smoker)

I spent much of my childhood begging and pleading with my parents to give up smoking.
They wouldn't. IMO any ad like that is a good thing if it makes parents realise how upsetting it actually is for their children to know that their parents smoke. Your DS probably already worries about your DH and if he doesn't yet he soon will once he starts learning about the dangers of smoking at school.
The problem isn't the ad, it is the fact that the ad is reinforcing - smoking kills.

My Uncle died of Lung cancer. he was 42. he left behind a 14 year old and a nine year old.

I think it depends on the child in question. The kids I saw in the cinema aged from around 3 to teenagers. For some kids the smoking - death link is not obvious until they get older. DS is 7 and until yesterday was unaware that smoking leads to death and now he is terrified. He knew it was a bad thing to do and that it could make you poorly but he never associated it with death. DS like me is a worrier and I am scared this will have an impact on him. I always thought this advert was directed more towards parents to illustrate the effect it has on their children and not to terrify kids too.

PS - Kidcreole and Coldtits - they were both so young. Smoking claims so many lives

I sympathise with the fact that your ds is now worried about someting he wasn't worried about before.
But there is something that can be done about it.
Your dp could give up and your ds wouln't be worried anymore.
I presume that is waht this ad is all about.Pretty hard hitting but if it works ?
I am ex smoker as well btw and realise how hard it is to give up.

I assume the adverts have been designed as they are to be effective in getting across the message that smoking kills, and is also harmful to others in the family of the smoker.

If they get that message across it's a job well done IMO

Most seven year olds do know that smoking can kill you. And if they don't they should. Your problem is that your DH is in denial, not that your DS knows too much.

Most seven year olds do know that smoking can kill you. And if they don't they should. Your problem is that your DH is in denial, not that your DS knows too much.

Whoops, sorry.

If only he would ggirl - the amount of "discussions" we have had about his smoking but to no avail. He is not ready despite DS and no amount of begging, pleading, hard hitting adverts will make him stop. He says he will give up "soon" but I don't know when "soon" will be

Well he does now LadyG

It's cruel and unfair of advertisers and the health promotion lobby to dump the responsibility for stopping smokers onto little children.

Terrifying kids who are too young to handle the information and certainly have no power to stop their parents is just wrong.

Sorry if I was a bit harsh. I remember so vividly what it felt like to not be able to get through to my parents. It wasn't just the health aspect either. It was being trapped in a car for hours with two chainsmoking parents who wouldn't even open the window a crack because my mother didn't like the cold.
It was being teased at school because my clothes always smelled of smoke.
My mother couldn't even come into my bedroom to say goodnight without bringing an ashtray with a smouldering fag in it with her.
I am sure your DH isn't like that, but that is why I feel the way I do.

I am an ex (heavy) smoker.

As such I know that it is true that you only give up when you are well and truly ready.

Smokers these days all know the dangers, that it will kill them, that it is bad for children etc etc. Any who don't are in an absolutely tiny minority.

It is just not on to scare the shit out of little kids that their parents are going to die, when those same little kids have sod all say in whether their parents smoke or not.

Nicotine is a highly addictive and pervasive substance, kicking it is very very hard, and the vast majority of people who are addicted won't suddenly quit because their kid is upset. They will carry on smoking and everyone involved will simply feel much worse about the whole situation that they did before.

Maybe the adverts will help people move more quickly towards the point where they are 'ready' to quit?

Notalone when your DP does decide it's time to stop I can throughly recommend Zyban - you have to get it on prescription though.