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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at the "I 'm scared my dad will did" smoking advert was shown at the cinema yesterday during a PG film?

195 replies

Notalone · 15/03/2009 13:56

I fully understand the purpose of the advert, I really do, but I also feel it is installing fear that wasn't there before into children.

I took DS to the cinema yesterday to see a PG and there were lots of children there. This advert came on and it really scared DS as DP smokes. I gave up smoking a while ago and I am aware that smoking is stupid, dangerous etc but I cannot force DP to give up until he is ready. However DS is now convinced his dad is going to die soon. I feel these adverts may well have kids all over the country terrified and tbh this makes me angry as it is not fair on them. What do you think?

OP posts:
JazzHands · 15/03/2009 14:48

It depends whether the ads are aimed at children or adults. If they are aimed at the parents then fine, show them to the parents.

If they are aimed at the children there is something quite off about that. Most children know once they reach a certain age that smoking is a killer, and worry enough if their parents smoke without additional state sponsored scaring. Children who are too young to know that smoking kills are too young to be told by an advert that mummy/daddy or even both are going to die.

willowthewispa · 15/03/2009 14:50

Aiming this kind of ad at little children gives them a lot of fear and responsibility in a situation where they have no control Very cruel.

violethill · 15/03/2009 14:57

I'm not aware that they are aimed at little children. I've seen them at various films/heard them on the radio... definitely haven't got the impression they are aimed at small kids.

I think they are very honest and just tell it like it is - which is probably why they get the point across.

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 14:59

They are aimed at children surely - they are spoken from the child's POV. The children are saying "I'm worried that my daddy will die" etc.

There are some other ones which are from the POV of the parent which I assume are aimed at parents.

edam · 15/03/2009 15:00

violet - if they aren't aimed at children, then they shouldn't be shown before films that have a child audience.

violethill · 15/03/2009 15:02

I didnt say I think they are unsuitable for children - I was saying IMO they aren't aimed specifically at children, which is a different thing.

My impression is that they are designed for a wide audience, of which younger children are a part.

brimfull · 15/03/2009 15:17

but smokers who see it in the knowledge that their children won't see it will carry on in denial ,thinking their kids aren't worried..iyswim

violethill · 15/03/2009 15:19

exactly ggirl. My assumption is that it's aimed at a broad audience - the whole family.

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 15:33

But the vast majority of smokers aren't in denial.

And the vast majority of children know from a reasonably young age that smoking kills.

One of my friends smokes occsionally. If I went up to her 4yo DD and said "your mummy is going to die" would I have done a good thing?

I think I would have done a pretty mean and spiteful thing.

brimfull · 15/03/2009 15:37

I agree it is cruel to inflict worry onto a previously oblivious child but most 7/8 and up are probably already worried and this ad should bring it home to their parents.

violethill · 15/03/2009 15:38

Of course going up to a 4 year old and telling them their parent is going to die would be cruel!!

But that's not what the advert is doing, so it's hardly a fair comparison.

The advert is intended to get the message across to families, that smoking is harmful, and increases the risks of all sorts of diseases and premature death.

Am I the only person who finds it slightly ironic that some people seem more concerned about their child possibly being upset or traumatised by watching an advert, than they are about actually giving up smoking or encouraging their partner to give up!

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 15:40

But small children are seeing the ad - which was the op's point.

It's not on to show it when small children might be reasonably expected to be watching.

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 15:55

It is what the adverts say.

Maybe we have seen different adverts. There are two different sets on at the moment, one from the POV of the child and one from the POV of the parent. The one from the POV of the child says something along the lines of "I worry daddy is going to die".

violethill · 15/03/2009 15:55

Well if you feel it's aimed at families, then yes, it's entirely reasonable to show it when families are watching.

It's never occurred to me that it's an advert aimed only at teenagers or adults.

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 15:58

So it is OK for people to go up to 4 year olds and say "your mummy is going to die" which is what these adverts say.

I wonder if we have seen the same ads?

The children in the ads, whose voices are saying "I don't want mummy to die" are way pre-teen. The ads are aimed at children for sure.

Coldtits · 15/03/2009 16:01

It's true. Maybe mummy should consider doing something practical about it, like stopping smoking, rather than get cross that someone has let her child in on the big secret - that her mother is endangering her own life by smoking.

The kids work it out quick enough on their own.

violethill · 15/03/2009 16:04

No, as I explained before, there is a big difference between someone approaching a 4 year old and telling them that 'their mummy will die', and the screening of these adverts, which are not aimed at specific 4 years olds, but which are giving information to families about the dangers of smoking.

JazzHands · 15/03/2009 16:08

Im not sure we've seen the same ads violethill.

I have been trying to find a link but can't.

The ones I've seen are definitely aimed directly at the children.

Coldtits lots of things are true but it doesn't necessarily mean that all children should be told all of them from the moment they're old enough to talk.

Children find out that smoking kills soon enough, especially if there is a smoker in the family. It's written all over the fag packets for a start.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 15/03/2009 16:11

YABU to angry at an advert which wouldn't have upset your DS if his dad didn't smoke. It's your DP you should be angry with.

pooka · 15/03/2009 16:13

I feel very strongly that it is wrong to place a child in the position of feeling that they should/could stop their parent/s smoking. It is too great a burden, particularly as there is a good chance that the child will not be able to persuade an addicted parent to stop, ten might feel guilt for being unable to "help" their parent.

By all means teach children that smoking is stupid/daft/unhealthy/wrong. But do not make then terrified that their parents are about to die as a result of their crappy habit, and that the child if unable to help their parent to stop, is in part responsible.

unfitmother · 15/03/2009 16:13

YABU and so is your DP by continuing to smoke.

piscesmoon · 15/03/2009 16:18

I think that it is unfair to frighten a DC when they have a parent who won't give up smoking, however I think it is a good message-smoking kills and you are unfair to do it if you have children. I can see why OP thinks it is unreasonable but her DP is being very unreasonable.

edam · 15/03/2009 17:00

pooka

madlentileater · 15/03/2009 17:10

yes, I aggree with pooka!
I've not seen the ad in cinemas but on the web, i think it's very good, but aimed at smoking parents, ie telling them (another) truth- that their children are scared they'll die.
Shouldn't be shown at PG or under film for the reason Pooka says.

noonki · 15/03/2009 17:18

sorry YABU
kids are already fully aware that smoking kills.

i spent many hours worrying and nagging my Dad (not that it did any good as he still puffs away) and I then went on ton smoke for 20 years. When I had kids I made sure I gave up and will not start again.

Be pissed off at the real reason your DC is worried, and that's because her Dad smokes.