To be angry at the "I 'm scared my dad will did" smoking advert was shown at the cinema yesterday during a PG film?

[Notalone]

I fully understand the purpose of the advert, I really do, but I also feel it is installing fear that wasn't there before into children.

I took DS to the cinema yesterday to see a PG and there were lots of children there. This advert came on and it really scared DS as DP smokes. I gave up smoking a while ago and I am aware that smoking is stupid, dangerous etc but I cannot force DP to give up until he is ready. However DS is now convinced his dad is going to die soon. I feel these adverts may well have kids all over the country terrified and tbh this makes me angry as it is not fair on them. What do you think?

Completely agree with expat. Why is it that the children of smokers are being targeted with the cruel message (subtext "mend your parents' ways or they'll die") when the same cannot be said of other life limiting/life threatening unnecessary habits.

The bottom line is that if you have a DC you should put them first and give up smoking. Arguing about the message and how it is sent is unimportant-it is giving up smoking that is important.

'Arguing about the message and how it is sent is unimportant-it is giving up smoking that is important.'

I don't give a toss if others chose to smoke themselves to death or not.

These ads frighten young children who do not fully understand the concept of death and for this reason I find them wrong and have complained about their being shown before the watershed.

These ads are shown when young children can view them. The message they get is parents = dead. And so then you tell them, 'Well, I don't smoke so I won't die.' Um, that's bollocks, too.

I know it's harsh, but if the ads terrify your child and your DH dosn't care enough to stop then I would be more angry at him than the ads.
Your DH has the power to alleviate your child's fear. Surely that is a good motivation?

'I know it's harsh, but if the ads terrify your child and your DH dosn't care enough to stop then I would be more angry at him than the ads.
Your DH has the power to alleviate your child's fear. Surely that is a good motivation? '

Eh? My husband doesn't smoke anymore, either.

The ads still scare the hell out of young kids because some of them do not understand that fully how death works, that it's an uncertainty and that there's no guarantee when and whom it will take.

So that they get the message that if parents don't smoke at all, they won't die.

That's not true, either.

These ads should either be pulled or shown after the watershed.

Want to guilt adults, fine, do it after the watershed.

I'll keep complaining until then and if they'd shown this before a PG rated film I'd have been fucking livid.

That is why I have complained and will continue to do so.

So now it's okay to terrify kids.

WTF.

It is wrong to put the worry and responsibility of the parent stopping smoking onto the shoulders of a child.

My dad smoked throughout my childhood. No amount of nagging, pleading or emotional blackmail stopped him, even when my DC were born.

Last year my DB and his fiance had a baby, my parents see my niece several times a week. Dad decided to go to smoke cessation classes and stopped smoking, after over 40 years as a smoker.

I'm sorry but smoking is a special case. I don't think it can be lumped in with overeating and drinking alcohol. Every single cigarette is harmful and has the potential to be dangerous. There is nothing good about smoking, not a single thing.

You can't say the same about overeating and drinking alcohol. We have to eat so obesity is much more of a complex issue than saying don't eat and you won't get fat. Alcohol in moderation is not harmful and some studies have even found benefits of say a glass of wine every day.

I agree with violethill anyway - there is plenty of coverage and advice on obesity and alcohol consumption. These things aren't being ignored but I still think that smoking deserved hard hitting campaigns and that it is not the fault of the campaign but the parents for smoking in the first place.

'We have to eat so obesity is much more of a complex issue than saying don't eat and you won't get fat. Alcohol in moderation is not harmful and some studies have even found benefits of say a glass of wine every day.'

Overeating and drinking are just as unecessary as smoking and no less 'complex' in the sense that some people are addicted to drink and food in the same way they are to smoking.

And equally, studies have shown that a glass of wine every day increases cancer risks.

Obesity is incredibly dangerous. People die from it in increasing numbers and again, it has even overtaken smoking as a leading cause of preventable death in some parts of the West, particularly in the US where smoking levels have dropped a lot.

So let's see ads with obese mum eating cake instead of smoking a fag and you'd have outrage here on MN.

How many times have there been rows on here about obese people and posters coming on chiming that it's as easy as eat less and exercise to lose weight, it's just willpower. Those people are soundly - and quite rightly - flamed.

But when it comes to smoking, it's just willpower, right?

I don't get your point expat.

It is just willpower as far as smoking goes. DH is an ex smoker - he used willpower to stop. My father has none and he hasn't stopped.

Smoking is an addiction to nicotine which is different to overeating. I smoked for years, gave up for 4 years whilst pregnant and children were small and then went back to it. It is very difficult to give up, I have stopped for just over 2 years now, but for the first year I cheated on the odd occasion. The ONLY thing that made me decide enough was enough was my dcs being so upset that the schools tell them that smoking kills (this was long before these adverts existed). I have always put my dcs first but on this occasion kept putting off giving up as nicotine has a very, very strong pull. In the end I bit the bullet for my dcs and they are so, so proud of me and that is what keeps me off cigarettes even now.

It's a recognised and well-studied addiction, Niecie. It's second only to heroin in strength.

Let's tell all overweight people they just need some willpower, too.

Let's tell alcoholics and drug addicts they just need some willpower.

What may work for someone might not work for another.

Nicotine is legal and it doesn't kill you to come off it. Anybody could stop now if they really wanted to - you don't have to go to rehab to get over it or get some substitute, you can just stop. Heroin can kill you when you are withdrawing from it and isn't legal. Not really relevant to this thread - this isn't about illegal substances.

Nicotine is out of your blood stream 48 hours after your last cigarette, 7 days tops. The addiction is psychological rather than physiological - your body starts to repair itself almost immediately.

Of course willpower has a part to play in beating any addiction - if you don't want to do it you won't be able to do it. Simple as that. Willpower is the start of any attempt to control any addiction.

However, obesity in particular is not that easy because you can't stop eating - you have to eat, which is why it is a much more complicated issue. You don't want children being frightened of eating and becoming anorexic instead. However, if you stop smoking you don't become anything other than healthier.

Actually heroin also stays in the system for as little as 48 hours, increasing to 5 - 7 days (depending upon the frequency and level of use).

But that is by the by....

Yes - nicotine is legal. God only knows why since it is clear that smokers are the devils spawn whose children deserve to be targeted in this cruel manner.

The point all along is that these adverts should not be shown to an audience which could be reasonably predicted
to include young children (i.e. a PG film, or notably recently NickJr).

THere are plenty of age appropriate ways of talking to children about smoking. These adverts are more than education for children - they are unfairly (when shown to children) placing a burden beyond what is reasonable upon the child of a smoker to worry themselves to bits (and presumably attempt to persuade their parents to quit).

It is not fair on the kids when their parents smoke, so yabu.

The children of smoking parents may well have to care for sick parents with emphysema (sp), lung cancer and what not, plus they may suffer respiratory illnesses themselves due to their parents addiction.

I saw the thread title, and thought "blimey, that must be a smoker having a rant"

"I saw the thread title, and thought "blimey, that must be a smoker having a rant"

Well exactly Quint - the thread seems to be split between those who think the ad is awful because they or their partner smoke and their children are scared and those who don't smoke and don't have scared children.

If the ad was that scary thing here surely all children would be scared and it would be banned or rated 15 or 18.

Besides it wasn't a U film it was a PG - PG films are given a rating because there might be things in there that scare the children and which need adult explanation and support. I don't see this ad is any different.

As far as I am aware NickJr (and I have seen the ad during early evening tv) is aimed at small children.

And actually this isn't about smokers vs non-smokers. Admittedly, it seems that most of those anti the ad did smoke at some point (though are now non-smokers). But the OP for example is a non-smoker. Her dp smokes. And if she as an adult, able to negotiate, argue, explain, plead rationally, has been unable to get her partner to stop smoking, surely it is unfair to place a similar burden upon a small child?

Personally I would like to see that ad. Being an ex smoker, and having lived "in the fog" of my fathers chain smoking, I am worried to see that my son (nearly 7) looks upon smoking as cool. I would WANT him to see that ad, I really do.

It is not so much about scaring your child that his parent may die, but drilling into small children that smoking is a really stupid and dangerous thing to do, to prevent them from starting, as well as encourage parents to stop.

I must say, as a mum, when my son asks me "why do people smoke" I always say something along the line of "They do not know it is really dangerous and that they harm their body in this way." and it always end up with him saying "But are they so stupid then?" and by my own logic, I can only say "yes they are just not very well informed". It is hard. As a nonsmoker, your child does not KNOW how unpleasant it is.

FIL used to smoke when Dh and sibs were kids, till DH became old enough to complain about the unfairness of them having to put up with the smoke/stink.....all before we knew about the severe health risks, passsive smoking etc

FIL stopped, but has recently been diagnosed with a rare cancer, in which smoking is an increased risk factor, the prognosis is not good

if these ads stop ONE smoker from smoking, thats a good thing

we have had a road safety talk in school where the kids were TOLD to nag thier parents into NOT using phones while driving.

sometimes we need the LOs to help us see more clearly

These ads may stop people from smoking which is a brilliant thing but I am wondering how many children are now having nightmares about their parents dying because of this advert. As Expat said, it should be directed at adults / parents and shown after the watershed. Kids do not need to have the worry their parents are about to die, its just not fair

'Well exactly Quint - the thread seems to be split between those who think the ad is awful because they or their partner smoke and their children are scared and those who don't smoke and don't have scared children.'

I don't smoke! My husband does not smoke! Targetting children and frightening them because it's about a parent dying is wrong.

i dont smoke but i did until i found out i was having a child

I really fail to see that this advert (I've only seen the Halloween one) is so scary that children will have nightmares. There have been far nastier/more graphic ones about. I would suspect this one went straight over the top of the heads of the majority of really small children, and was nothing new for the older ones who have been told in far more detail about the ill effects of cigarettes. I told my children when they asked me that yes their Dad was running the risk of dying early when they asked, and we had a discussion about the power of addiction. Ultimately we agreed in this area he was just stupid. I am not aware they had any nightmares although they were certainly sad. I was very clear that dh was the only person who could decide to stop, and I told them I had nagged him for the last 20 years and that they were welcome to do so, but not to feel it would make any difference. Yes nicotine is very addictive because it has such a fast effect, but it is not that hard to give up. You don't need to be under medical care and you can live a normal life whilst you give up. There are many aids to help. There are few bad side effects and the positive effects come into play within days. It might take a few attempts but it is perfectly possible and people do it all the time. The will power thing is about making that initial effort IMO.

My children are very aware that smoking is a bad thing because I've made sure about that! I worry more that the children will start smoking and damage their health than that my dh might smoke himself into an early grave (his mum died at 50). I've always said I wouldn't be there at his bedside, although I am sure I will be .

I agree nooka. I find it extraordinary that the child sees an advert telling them the truth about smoking and the smoking parent gets annoyed that they are being shown the advert, rather than tackling the root cause and giving up smoking. I don't think they should be frightened, but it is only a short matter of time before they find out the truth anyway. Is the selfish parent still going to persist when they arrive home from school with the information or are school supposed to pretend that smoking is healthy?
I would have thought that living to see your DC grow up was more important than the pleasure of smoking. It is a much easier problem than obesity-they simply never buy another cigarette and keep away from them, much easier to do now that they are banned in public places.