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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tired of having negative personal comments made about the weight I have lost.

45 replies

AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 11:58

I have gone from 14 1/2 stone, to about 10st 4lb, goes up and down a bit. (I am about 5' 8'')

I am not very well, but find peoples comments intrusive, especially after some of them have looked pointedly at me chest.

I have been called a stick insect, skinny, the wick of a candle,

People telling me that I could do with a bit of fat on me......

It is narking me and I wouldn't dream of saying anything like it or retorting.

Or am I just over sensitive?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 04/03/2009 12:00

do you think they are jealous?

congratulations on your weight loss

rubyslippers · 04/03/2009 12:00

oh goodness - have just re read thread - have you lost weight as you are ill

so sorry

Pawslikepaddington · 04/03/2009 12:01

I would be livid-how dare they? Especially if you have been ill-would these same people go up to a heavily overweight person and say ""I could fit twice in your trousers, he he!!" I sincerely doubt it. Horrid people, who are obviously jealous.

Original poster
AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 12:02

Oh no....Weight loss was planned.......

sorry for being misleading.

OP posts:
Pawslikepaddington · 04/03/2009 12:03

But still-stupid idiots!

rubyslippers · 04/03/2009 12:04

oh phew ...

i do think it is jealousy in that case ...

am continously amazed about the things people think it is ok to say

i once had surgery (fairly major) and some woman came up to me in the supermarket and asked if i had been in a "terrible car crash"

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 04/03/2009 12:04

Oh congrats to you Atilla! I'm hoping to get down to that weight too and am your height. Can't shift that last few pounds...

They're being Very Rude. Poke 'em in the eye.
(Today's standard response from GrumpyPlumpRump)

VerynicenonacidicTits · 04/03/2009 12:04

Are you happy and is your weight healthy for your height? if the answer is yes then ignore the comments, they are probably envious about you losing weight

If you are now below average weight for your height then maybe they have a point? my friend lost weight but became obsessed about it and lost far to much weight, she couldnt see it and thought people where jsut being mean when they told her she was looking gaunt and too skinny

But like i said, if you are happy (and 10.4 for your height sounds about average) then thats all that matters

Original poster
AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 12:05

Some of the people who have made comments do know I am poorly though and that I am very low.

I have a friend who is very overweight, partly through health issues and partly through diet and she said something.

I just don't make comments like that.

OP posts:
laweaselmys · 04/03/2009 12:05

People think they have a right to be rude about skinny people. It's offensive and horrible.

However since you have been ill perhaps people are just concerned and phrasing it very badly?

VerynicenonacidicTits · 04/03/2009 12:06

Opps sorry, just realised you have lost wieght because you are ill

Tell them to feck off

TwoIfBySea · 04/03/2009 12:06

Atilla, it is pure and simple jealousy!

I had a similar weight loss years ago. I went from being the round and cuddly friend always good for a laugh to being a threat whenever the group of "friends" went out as suddenly I was getting a lot of attention.

It shows you who your true friends are sadly.

You are not being over-sensitive at all, it is really hurtful but sod them, it is what you feel inside that matters not what their petty envious minds think.

Original poster
AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 12:06

ruby slippers.....

OP posts:
PortBlacksandResident · 04/03/2009 12:09

Jealous
Jealous
Jealous

Did i mention they were jealous?

MorrisZapp · 04/03/2009 12:10

Sounds like the green eyed monster to me.

Reminds me the 'reveal' shot in Ten Years Younger, when the newly fab lady's best friend or sister sees them for the first time and their face basically registers disbelief, horror, personal attack and then genuine happiness, all in about one second!!!

It's like - hang on, I didn't want you to look that good!

rubyslippers · 04/03/2009 12:11

i know!

am sorry you feel low - your friend should know better than to say something as well

OnlyWantsOne · 04/03/2009 12:11

I should think they are jealous. I got similar treatment when I lost 5 stone after having DD 2 years ago.

... I still get my relatives / friends telling me I could do with putting some weight on. Which doesn't help me much as Im battling with a lurking ED.

I think you should be happy, and maintain a healthy weight.

Do you feel happier now, than you were before? Because if you're happy and healthy, then WELL DONE

Bathsheba · 04/03/2009 12:11

Hi

I do fnd that a bit strange - I've lost almost 7 stone and I've had absolutely nothing but positive comments...

The only thing people have said to me is not to lose much more, but its always said in a hugely positve way "You look fabulous, you don't need to lose any more.."

To be honest, losing weight is one of the best things I've ever done for me (pics in my profile..)

Original poster
AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 12:16

....PBaR

I think if people are really concerned they would phrase it better. Well I would, and I would try to be constructive and improve their self esteem and not knock it.

I mentioned the health thing as I do tend to be a bit pale at times,

And the chest thing really p's me off.....

OP posts:
LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 04/03/2009 12:16

AtillaTheHoney you sound a lovely weight for that height (I was once that weight and that height so I know!) ignore the horrible comments and just enjoy your new shopping opportunities.

kayzr · 04/03/2009 12:20

Tell them to pee off!!

I am your height and trying to get down to the weight you are after having my 2 boys. I keep getting the "Haven't you lost the weight yet?" comments despite DS2 being just 11 weeks.

Hope you are better soon.

Original poster
AtillaTheHoney · 04/03/2009 12:21

Wow, Bathsheba..... well done.

I did feel great, and I suppose left to my own devices am still thrilled. It was hard work and I love wearing what I want, not what I can get in.

I also mostly eat what I want. But am just careful. I exercise a lot, and got a bit obsessed, but still didn't go under 10 4.

It is nice to have some moral support.

OP posts:
upagumtree · 04/03/2009 12:22

YANBU. You have done soooo well to lose all that weight. Don't listen to them!!

Bathsheba I hope you don't mind, but i looked at your piccies. You look fantastic btw!!

You both have given me some extra motivation to stay on this bloomin' diet

frazzledoldbag · 04/03/2009 12:23

jealous, jealous, jealous people

well done for losing that weight - i know how hard it is, as I lost 3.5 stone last year (very quickly on lighterlife) and got down to 9 stone (am 5 foot5 ish). Lots of people said I looked great (I felt fab) but some 'friends' apparently were talking behind my back saying I'd lost too much (my BMI was still 21 or 22 so was v healthy), saying I should have stopped losing weight before now and that my hair was falling out and my boobs had vanished. (they hadn't vanished but had thankfully got much smaller! I like them smaller).

(I am now 7 months pg and look like a whale but will definitely be getting back to my size 8/10's in the next 9 months or so.) Fully expecting the whole thing to start all over again.

People just don't like it when you go from being their 'fat' friend, or certainly from being fatter than them to being thinner. It makes them insecure and question their own body image so they take it out on you! Ignore and enjoy your weight loss.
Get well soon.

oliviasmama · 04/03/2009 12:59

HAHAHA - jealous swines!!!! Me too though, I'm struggling to get going on my diet, need to lose 2 stones. WELL DONE, you should be proud of yourself. How funny people can't just say "good going, well done"......anyway "good going and well done!"

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