Horrid text 'joke' from a friend , how do I respond?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I feellike calling and ranting at her. It's bloody horrible.

Should I just ignore it? What do/ would you do?

I've had another text 'why do you want to be bitchy it was a joke, everyone else thinks it's funny.

I'm sad really, how hateful.

(crosses off christmas card list)

That sounds like her trying to make up. Perhaps she is caught between you and her dp.

I don't know, he sounds a twunt but she just sounds ignorant tbh.

In the immortal words of The Specials:

If you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time, now is the time
For your friendship to end ...

I'm not sure. I had a boyfriend whose dad would occasionally tell racist jokes. He was a brilliant person who just was conditioned all his previous life to accept that kind of humour. He would never have wanted to cause offence. It's not like we are all perfect.

I'm not saying racist jokes are Ok, I never felt comfy about it myself and he knew that as I looked awkward - he just didn't make them around me (and it wasn't something he did often anyway)

What I mean is a person can have good qualities but as long as you make it clear the jokes are not acceptable, you can stay their friend.

I don't think you were being bitchy at all, just straightforward. I don't think you would be out of order just to say that you have always hated racist jokes, and you don't understand why, as she's known you so long, she would send you one. And that you don't appreciate her boyfriend abusing you because of that. And that she's got the problem, not you.

I hae a 'friend' who texts me so called jokes.I ignore them.If she is racist when we are speaking I do say that 'you know I don't agree with that'etc.
I don't like the word 'posh' either

Also agree with others.She can't know you that well,in order to send such texts.Unless she is trying to wind you up.

someone sent me a''joke'' a couple of months ago
'what do you call a black man with a stick up his arse.....a choc ice....'' ???????
I was
my dh is black,my children are mixed race I was very very unimpressed,the sender thought it was hilarious needless to say we are not 'friends' anymore

pesto, that is awful.

My FIL had a ringtone on his phone to the tune of "I've got a brand new combine harvester" that was anti-immigrant. He played it to us in front of my DCs.

He was bloody lucky not to end up as the subject of a "what do you call a balding white man with a mobile phone up his arse" joke.

your friends DP sounds a bit of a twunt TBH DWP - is he a good enough friend of yours to be texting you direct?

BTW, I didn't even get the joke in the OP, and I'm still not convinced now after the explanations (thanks). It isn't funny even to a racist, surely? Why would it be?

Are they always this aggressive? Calling you a bitch twice because you sent one text making it clear you dont' like the joke?

They sound like twats tbh. I wouldn't want anything to do with anyone who called me a "posh bitch" for no reason, just because it gives a huge signal that he's got some kind of problem with me.

I occasionally get "jokes" like this from people who should know better - I ignore them totally. If asked, I suggest they might not want to waste the cost of the text msg on me as I really don't appreciate them; otherwise I let it go.

I don't get it either. I can't believe the posh bitch message they have sent you though....wankers.

forgot to add I dont get the joke that was sent to op either??

i agree with bitofun and stewie - one thing is to send lame ass "jokes" like that, another is to then abuse you when you say you're not up for it. And to get her dp involved . . .

really nasty taste in my mouth now . . . i would be upset but prolly feel better for cutting them off, saying something along the lines of bitofun's post.

Its a reference to muslim women wearing the things over their faces that only show the eyes I assume.

My usual response to 'silly' racism (ie crap jokes or recycled racist urban legends or such like) from people who are otherwise likeable is 'Oh get a grip darling, don't say stuff like that or people will think you're a twat.'
Though I did deal with my mother's tendency to use unpleasantly racist language (she's my mum, she's old, and she wouldn't dream of abusing anyone to his/her face) by saying, 'Look, I don't use words like 'cunt' in front of you, do I? Lots of people find the word you just used offensive.'

I am fairly sure that none of my friends would send me a text like that (I don't blame you for being annoyed) but if they did I would either ignore or more likely, send a text saying "I think you sent this text to me by mistake" and them avoid them like the plague.

Oh sorry, didn't see page 2 and the updates. Agree with crossing off Christmas card list.

Jesus wept - you get sent a racist joke followed by an abusive text, then get asked why you are "being bitchy"?

I'm really sorry. It's horrible when friends you think you know/trust start to act like freaks. I'm wondering if her delightful DP hasn't altered her attitudes - can happen, sadly.

She sent mne a text this morning apologising and saying they were both really drunk. Hmm.

I haven't replied yet, not sure what if anything to say.

Depends if you believe in "it's the drink talking" or "in vino veritas". Second for me - alcohol removes inhibitions, but it doesn't make you racist if you weren't to start off with.

My thoughts exactly. Hmm.