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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend whacked my dog

111 replies

CoffeeColouredCloud · 25/02/2009 13:20

I invited my friend around this morning and she came wearing a woolen type coat. Anyway I have a staffordshire bull terrier dog who gets very excited when she sees new people and she kept jumping at my friend. I told her to get down but she was just excited. Then my friend said "Can you get her, she's ripping my coat".

She wasn't ripping her coat, she had just pulled it in a few places. Anyway I grabbed her and my friend sat down with a cup of coffee. We were just chatting at my dog suddenly got excited again and ran toward the sofa. I saw my friend roll her eyes so I called the dog back. She ignored me and jumped up on my friend and tried to sit on her knee. This spilt some coffee on the sofa and on her jeans. I shouted at the dog and she muttered "for fucks sake" so as the dog started toward me my friend bent down to put the cup on the floor and the dog turned back thinking she was playing and dived on her. At the point she just whacked her across the face the dog wasn't bothered but I still thought it was totally out of order so I said "there was no need to hit her" so she said "Look at my fucking coat, its all pulled, it's my only coat and its ruined". There was a few pulls on it but nothing noticable.

AIBU for being annoyed that she hit my dog when she was only excited? if she was biting etc I could understand but she was just trying to be friendly and my friend is SUPPOSED to be a dog lover

OP posts:
TartanKnickers · 25/02/2009 13:22

YABU - I would have been annoyed and I have a dog/am a dog lover. If it were my dog, I'd have shut it in the kitchen or something if it can't behave or you can't control it.

dilbertina · 25/02/2009 13:22

It sounds like your dog needs some training, and you need to stop making excuses for it. I have a dog, I love dogs, there is no way on earth I would let mine behave like yours. YABU.

rubyslippers · 25/02/2009 13:22

she doesn't sound like a dog lover

i wouldn't enjoy a dog pulling my coat or tipping coffee on me BUT i wouldn't hit an animal

rubyslippers · 25/02/2009 13:23

oh, and if your dog ignores you when you call her, then surely she needs training?

pagwatch · 25/02/2009 13:23

I think you are being unreasonable.

I don't like people hitting dogs but I am a bit that you seem to have an incredibly badly trainned dog and seem to expect others to just put up with that.

I have an Old English and he knows not to jump - and if he did jump up he would be put outside.
Train your dog before he gets excited around a three year old and does some serious damage

coppertop · 25/02/2009 13:23

Your friend was wrong to hit your dog but you also need to seriously consider some dog-training classes.

ForeverOptimistic · 25/02/2009 13:24

She should not have hit your dog but if I was in her shoes I would have been thinking "fgs why doesn't she stick it in the garden!" I tend to avoid going to peoples houses if they have dogs.

kayzr · 25/02/2009 13:24

YABU, you need to train your dog.

MarlaSinger · 25/02/2009 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsjustafleshwound · 25/02/2009 13:26

YABU - your friend came to see you - not make friends with your dog ..

If the dog is excitable and has already 'played'/jumped up on your guest, just shove the dog outside or away ..

Staffies are intimidating dogs

GooseyLoosey · 25/02/2009 13:27

Did she whack the dog or just push her roughly away. I love dogs too, but in the circs, I think I would have push it away as well.

BurningBright · 25/02/2009 13:27

I don't think you are being unreasonable for objecting to your friend hitting your dog.

But you created the situation in the first place, by failing to control the dog. Your friend has every right to be upset and annoyed.

TheButterflyEffect · 25/02/2009 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FriarKewcumber · 25/02/2009 13:30

I wouldn't hit an animal but would get very, very cross with someone who couldn't control their large dog. And I am a dog lover.

Saying there were "a few pulls" on her coat mean that they are noticable or you wouldn't have been able to see them! You response whould have been grovelling apology not AIBU thread and getting annoyed with her!

FairMidden · 25/02/2009 13:30

Ditto the others I'm afraid - YABU. She should not have hit your dog, ever, but it's extremely bad form to let your dog maul visitors. One of mine is very much like your Staffy but he is shut away until visitors are in and then brought in when he's calm and if they are OK with it, on a lead if necessary.

Plus, Staffs are very solid, strong little dogs and when they're jumping up and onto someone it's pretty uncomfortable. Dog training is a must.

GetOrfMoiLand · 25/02/2009 13:30

I don't blame her for clouting your dog to be honest. I would be highly annoyed at both the dog and your attitude.

at 'supposed to be a dog lover'. Why should she love your uncontrollable dog?

MrsSeanBean · 25/02/2009 13:30

YANBU. Lose the friend. But also train the dog.

pagwatch · 25/02/2009 13:30

Foreveroptomistic.
Do you really? Why?
My dog is lovely and does not jump up - and if he did, or if he is being in any way a nusiance he goes in the garden. And the first question to anyone arriving is 'does the dog bother you - shall I put him out as it is really not a problem if you would prefer'
Would you really not come over to see me ?

ThePellyandMe · 25/02/2009 13:31

I would never hit anyone elses dog bt I would be abit peed off if a dog jumped up at me and damaged my clothes or got me dirty so YABU.

My mums dog used to jump up and I have had several bruises from her claws. Now FIL has a basset hound who jumps up at the dc's which really pees me off because although low to the ground she is chunky and will hurt if her claws dig in.

However I keep my mouth shut and complain when they have gone I do think dogs need to be trained not to jump up and as the owner that would be your responsibility.

Bubbaluv · 25/02/2009 13:31

I am a dog lover and I think YABU. YOU should have disciplined your dog the FIRST time.

hippipotamiHasLostFourPounds · 25/02/2009 13:31

Right, whilst your friend should not have hit your dog, your dog sounds an uncontrolled nuisance.

I too have an over-friendly dog. But when visitors come I have hold of him so he cannot jump up, and once he has greeted our guests (those that want to be greeted, I would not inflict him on those that do not like dogs) I tell the dog to stay in his bed. If he disobeys and makes a nuisance of himself he gets put in the kitchen.

Seriously, no matter how much I love dogs, I do not expect to be jumped on, have my coat pulled, have my coffee spilt on me and other unwelcome doggy attentions.

Helen31 · 25/02/2009 13:32

YABU - your dog is clearly not trained to behave around people. Yes, she probably shouldn't have hit your dog, but realistically what options had you left her when she was being mauled for the THIRD time. You're lucky she's not asking you to pay for a new coat.

FriarKewcumber · 25/02/2009 13:32

"I'm sorry your dog was hurt - that is really awful" but her dog wasn't hurt "the dog wasn't bothered" so presumably she didn;t hit very hard (thast not an excuse btw, you still shouldn't hit animals especially if they are uncontrollable - you don;t know whetehr the dog would turn and bite)

idonthaveanamerightnowVT · 25/02/2009 13:32

YABU you should have put the dog in another room with the door shut before you even answered the door, its very rude to let an excitable animal jump all over a guest

Sounds like your dog need some training

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 25/02/2009 13:33

Either YABVVVU or you are the friend trying to get an objective opinion.
IMO, badly trained dogs are a menace and besotted owners even worse - this case would appear to feature both.

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